I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ASAP.. (page 3)

Scully

We were in a similar situation with some JW relatives over the summer. We hadn't been in touch for a long time, but decided that we'd visit with them if that's what they wanted. We didn't tell them what our Spiritual™ situation was (me Inactive™ and Mr Scully was announced as DA'd by the congregation, without having sent a DA letter). As it turned out, our JW relatives were also Inactive™ for over a year.

You may find that you're pleasantly surprised if you just go. He may not be an Elder™ anymore. If it comes up, you can just say "I'm surprised you haven't heard through the grapevine...."

undercover

Without reading any of the other ideas (which may be better):

I'm assuming he's coming in for just a few days or even shorter which means his schedule will be busy. You can say yours is busy as well, but you can squeeze in a lunch or a coffee shop meeting. This way if things go badly it leaves each of you a quick out.

Keep a positive attitude. Forget the JW connection. Look forward to catching up with an old friend and remember the old times. If the relegion comes up, be honest without baring your soul. You're inactive but you're happy right now and don't wish to go too much into it. If he offers to "help" be gracious and let him know that you'll definitely get in touch with him if you need his help, knowing full well that you'll never call him for that purpose.

I've been pleaseantly suprised that some old JW friends were non-judgemental and seemed genuinely happy to see me, knowing full well that I've been inactive for some time. The old friendship transcended the religion, if only for a short period. I say give them a chance to prove themselves either way.

MsMcDucket

I'm assuming that he's not an elder because he's not bringing a chaperone. I thought that "sisters and brothers" were not to be alone together? Did I miss something?

Mary

I'm assuming that he's not an elder because he's not bringing a chaperone. I thought that "sisters and brothers" were not to be alone together? Did I miss something?

Good lord, I'm not going to bang him! When we were friends 20 years ago, we spent alot of time alone---we'd go to shows, restaurants, the Theatre, skiing. One weekend, we drove to Whister, B.C. to attend a mutual friends' wedding---a 5 hour drive. All without a chaperone. Yes the elders used to "question" our friendship, because to their dirty minds, men and women couldn't just be "friends". But technically you're right. The Borg would very much frown on a married man having dinner with a single sister. However, I know from long experience that he would never try anything simply because I know he's never been attracted to me that way.

Dansk

Mary,

As I see it your situation is easy! JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!

To do otherwise could cause embarrassment later on. If you lay it all in the open now you'll be doing both yourselves a favour. He will probably thank you for your honesty. If he doesn't like what you say, you haven't lost anything! No, really, you haven't - because you've kept your integrity and no one could accuse you of deceit later on!

Friends need to be told the TRUTH!

Ian

gumby

Good lord, I'm not going to bang him!

Mary, don't be too sure. As sinners we can succumb to Satans system of things and begin to veiw wordly pleasures as.........oh nnn,nn.......nnnnnnever mind.

Be honest with the guy, but tell him you'd like to see him anyway and convert the bastard, marry him... if you fall in love, then you can do the bangin thingy.

Gumdrphil

{edited to clarify} fall in love first, then marry, then bangy

bitemeWT

Good lord, I'm not going to bang him!

Oops, I think I opened up a can of worms... I'm sorry.

But honestly, if he will break this rule that was HUGE when I was in, I would say that he's pretty liberal and going to dinner with him might turn into a good thing. But... um... not that good...

littlerockguy

I'm assuming that he's not an elder because he's not bringing a chaperone. I thought that "sisters and brothers" were not to be alone together? Did I miss something?
Good lord, I'm not going to bang him! When we were friends 20 years ago, we spent alot of time alone---we'd go to shows, restaurants, the Theatre, skiing. One weekend, we drove to Whister, B.C. to attend a mutual friends' wedding---a 5 hour drive. All without a chaperone. Yes the elders used to "question" our friendship, because to their dirty minds, men and women couldn't just be "friends". But technically you're right. The Borg would very much frown on a married man having dinner with a single sister. However, I know from long experience that he would never try anything simply because I know he's never been attracted to me that way.

Back when I was active a JW male would never accompany a gingle "sister" especially if the brother was an Elder; no ifs, ands or buts. It didn't matter how platonic a relationship was but I guess since he will be out of town and there is no chance in anybody he knows seeing him I guess he could let this policy slide. I always tell anybody I come across like that I just been too busy and inactive but my relatives who are still in keep me informed on what is going on.

Finally-Free

Good lord, I'm not going to bang him!

Hey, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open. You can even set up a video camera for blackmail purposes later. It may be useful some day, especially if he tries to cause you problems with your local elders. Voice recorders are good too.

Theocratic warefare!

W

mouthy

Since your folks are still in the Borg ....I would be careful Mary! It could be a set up. He could be finding out where you are in the "lie"-He may be a long way away now- but I knew one in ENGLAND- that was sent to Canada ( old friends) to find out how they were doing.....Maybe your folks or friends has passed it around the grapevine that your weak in the "lie"And the Elders have put him on your tail ( so to speak) to catch you BEWARE!!!! I would go but play dumb as to where you are.....Let him rant & rave about Paradise - Smile & tell him you hope he will be there .....

I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ASAP..

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