I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ASAP..

Mary

OK, I got a call tonight from an old friend I knew years ago when I lived in another city. I haven't seen him for 18 years although we have had occassional contact. He's coming in to Toronto next week and wants to know if we can get together to catch up. While I would love to see him again, I'm not sure if I should. He was made an elder a couple of years ago (I guess he's real spiritual now) and he has no idea that I don't go anymore.

Should I simply tell him that I don't go anymore, or should I bite the bullet, pretend that I do just to make life easier and go and meet him for dinner? As I say, I haven't seen him in years but we were really good friends years ago.......I don't know what his reaction would be if I told him I'm not 'in the Troof anymore."

What would you do? I have to make up my mind pretty quick........

Frog

Mary, are you sure he doesn't know that you've left da troof? Perhaps he does & wants to encourage you to return? Were you ever diss'd? I guess it depends on how good of friends you once were as to whether there's any chance he could overlook your now being out. If he's just been "appointed" and elder, I dare say he must be pretty hardcore. If I were you I'd be straight with him, tell him that you've left, and that you feel very confidient & strong about your decision, but that his friendship once meant allot to you and you would still love so see him, but that the balls in his court.

You'll make the right decision, in the end there's no wrong one's, but being upfront & maintaining your dignity is the most important thing:) frog x

Jourles

Youch, tough choice.

I would choose both....depending on my mood at the time.

I have a feeling though that with your spunk, you would have a hard time keeping your mouth quiet on doctrinal issues.

sandy

How uncomfortable would it be for you to just tell him the truth about yourself. Are you sure he has no idea you are not a dub?

misspeaches

Hi Mary

I had something similar to this happen a couple of weeks ago. I got some great advice on my thread about it. Check it out here --> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/100620/1.ashx

It had a good outcome too...

tijkmo

if a friend of mine called me up to meet im pretty sure i would go for old times sake...and tell them without embarrassment why i no longer believe and tell them that it shouldnt make any difference to your time together but what they do in the future is then up to them

freedomlover

Mary, this is a tough one, but I have to tell you I was the caller a few weeks ago and a very good friend of mine from years ago was on the other end.

He was in the same position as you and he didn't know I was having doubts about being a JW. I am SOOO glad he decided to see me that day and talk!

Maybe you can feel your friend out a bit more, and see if you can pick up any more info.......

You just never know what he has in mind meeting with you....

Good Luck! FreedomLover

BadPammie

Honesty, Honesty, Honesty, is the best policy. I say call the guy back and make no bones about the fact that you would love to see him and catch up for old times sake but that you are no longer associated with JW's and you thought he should be aware of that.

BadPammie!

Mary

Mary, are you sure he doesn't know that you've left da troof? Perhaps he does & wants to encourage you to return? Were you ever diss'd?

No, we're 4,000 miles apart----he has no idea I don't go any more.........and no, I was never DF'd or DA'd or anything..........oh man, this is gonna weigh on my mind!!

Thanks Miss Peaches.......read the advice.......they were good..........

Purza

This JUST happened to me. I got in touch with an old friend who I haven't seen in about 7 years. Her husband is an elder and I always thought this "old friend" was a bit judgmental. We talked via email and she wanted to get together. I told her that I was inactive, not attending meetings and married to a worldly person. She thanked me for my straightforwardness and agreed to meet me. The four of us (the visit included spouses) had a very nice time and my husband was very impressed with them in that they harbored no ill feelings towards me. My friend and her husband both told me how much they liked my husband and all was good. AND they did not try to "encourage" me to return or anything.

I believe in being up front about things before meeting in order to avoid being uncomfortable in person. JMHO

Purza

PS Let us know what you decide.

I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ASAP..

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