Shunned again, and you won't guess where. EVER.

by kwintestal 99 Replies latest jw friends

  • Margie
    Margie

    I think I would complain to the elders in her hall that she's bringing reproach on Jehovah's name by ignoring you to the point of not carrying out her duties at her job. If she's brainwashed, the only people she'll listen to are other JWs, not her employer.

  • Gerard
    Gerard

    When you speak to the councelor, demand that the secretary gets reprimended.

  • Ingenuous
    Ingenuous

    I second Gerard's statement - a meaningfully severe reprimand would be appropriate.

  • Aude_Sapere
    Aude_Sapere

    What do you want?

    I haven't read the responses to that question but here's what I'd want:

    An apology. A SINCERE apology for inflicting INTENTIONAL harm on you and your innocent children. A sincere 'separate' apology to EACH of you. I'd want a meeting with her and her manager and myself. Then I'd want her resignation (or a firing).

    But Oooo A sincere apology to your face in front of her employer and your counsellor. Priceless!!

    Perhaps add in a few extra psych sessions at no charge as well.

    My personal wish list..!!

    -Aude.

  • Scully
    Scully

    posting this message for sf/sKally, who is having technical problems with the site:

    Please tell me that you aren't going to let this slide? Her boss deserves to know what she was doing( or not doing in this case ) Especially the reason why you were there.
    Exactly. This type of behavior towards you demonstrates precisely HOW the shunning policy works.
    If I were you, I'd document it by taking notes with dates and times and describe exactly what occured.
    Impart on the doctor, that in order to try and at least get a grasp of what shunning is and does, it would be a good idea to ask this employee WHY she acted and reacted to you the way she dis that day. Have her ask just what does this policy accomplish?
    The doctor will have then gotten it straight from the horses mouth.
    {{ Well wishes to you and your family }}
    sKally
  • Honesty
    Honesty
    Kwin, if you need an object lesson on the impact of shunning, simply ask the counsellor to call in the receptionist in one of your sessions. She can see it in action for herself.

    I would explain the relationship with the receptionist as it existed before any JW shunning started and then ask to have the receptionist called in and strike up a conversation with her, including some scriptural discussion.

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog
    I would like to suggest a different course than firing. I would suggest that kwin recommend that she have mandatory counseling.

    Firing will only make her feel persecuted for righteousness sake.

    AuldSoul

    Oh, I really like this idea. If this was posible to have this done...maybe it could open her eyes up as well.

  • Scully
    Scully

    I like Auld Soul's suggestion. Get her employer to require her to take sensitivity training, the way people who sexually harass co-workers get similar training.

    This kind of training sometimes requires that the offender sit down face-to-face with the person who has been harmed by their behaviour and gets to listen to the effects of their behaviour from the person on the receiving end of it. Are you up for it Kwin?

    With any luck, she'll resign before she taints her holy @$$ by speaking to you.

  • horrible life
    horrible life

    I'm very tired, so there is probably an easy answer. I have to ask or get feed back to this, so I can go to bed.

    The receptionist gets fired. Can she not turn around and cry foul, for being fired for being made to do something against her religion? I understand that this is a workplace, and not the government, but doesn't she have some rights? HL

  • steve2
    steve2
    The receptionist gets fired. Can she not turn around and cry foul, for being fired for being made to do something against her religion? I understand that this is a workplace, and not the government, but doesn't she have some rights?

    The way she ignored you is not acceptable - that much I agree with. But the avalanche of advice you've been getting from others is verging on the extreme and some of it, if not purposely funny, is unbalanced and likely to backfire.

    For goodness sake, you didn't even let her know at the time or subsequently what you expected from her, and she did say "Goodbye" to you, (although you perceived this to be less than what you might normally expect from a receptionist).

    If I were her employer, I would listen to you and set things right. But I would not tolerate heavy-handedness or intimidating tactics such as your writing down dates and times in front of everyone or going to the media or demanding that she see a counsellor. As an employer, I have a responsibility to customers - yes. But I also have a responsibility to see that my employees are not intimidated, treated summarily or inappropriately - even in response to their admittedly poor conduct.

    Kwin, I accept that you are hurting and I don't wish to minimise your pain. But, step back a little from the incident with this woman. Give her a chance to hear how you've been affected. Show that you've learned something from your terrible experience by showing her more mercy than she has - up to this point - shown you. The pain is bad, I know, but it does ease - don't mistake the depth of your current pain as the impetus for getting back at this misguided woman.

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