Well, it's come to this. I have done as much as I can to save as many friends and family as possible. Done pretty well minus the wife. She's still in, but we are getting along ok for the last couple of days.
I am ready to cut ties now. Don't have a doubt in my mind that I want to close this chapter up and move on. So I got my letter ready for the big boys. I also want to filter this down to mail out to my 'friends' before the announcement.
It's really long, so if ya read it, thx! Sorry been in active from the board of late, but trying to get my life back on track I guess. Hope all are doing well!
~~~~~~
Dear Brothers,
I want to thank you for your diligence in carrying out your duties as elders of the congregation. While it most certainly is found by yourselves a fulfilling position, it no doubt is a weighty and tasking responsibility, especially in such cases as this. I have no doubt that your intentions are earnest and true as you act as administrators of instruction and as overseers protecting the Governing Body?s interests in the congregation.
As you read this letter I ask that you think of me not as one troubled and in absence of Jehovah God, but rather as a fellow servant of Jehovah God and of his Son Christ Jesus. You would surely agree that we can not judge a man?s heart solely by his outward appearances. As the Bible says at 1 Samuel 16:7; ?Not the way man sees is the way God sees, because mere man sees what appears to the eyes; but as for Jehovah, he sees what the heart is.?
So i f nothing else is understood by you from this letter, I want at least this to be plainly understood; that my heart has never left Jehovah God. In fact, my absence from the Kingdom Hall [KH] is due primarily to my whole-hearted effort to draw closer to Him. In good faith I could not continue to attend meetings at the KH until matters were resolved in my heart. I did not want to be a hypocrite and by all outward appearances be whole-heartedly supporting the WTS all the while having my bible-trained conscience troubling me while taking part in WTS activities. I take Jesus? words seriously where at Matthew 15:7, 8. he stated, ?You hypocrites, Isaiah aptly prophesied about you, when he said, ?This people honors me with their lips, yet their heart is far removed from me.?? I am not interested in giving Jehovah lip service.
There were too many troubling stands taken by the WatchTower Society [WTS] for me to just gloss over without causing my conscience to be pained. I can say with all honesty that during this time of examination solely with the Bible and the WTS publications that I have never been caused greater grief in my entire life than this specific period.
I do not say that last sentence lightly. Many of you brothers have known me from my youth on up. You are aware that I decided for myself to study with the XXX at twelve years of age minus any visible family support. You had witnessed my conduct all the while in High School as spiritually mature and therefore worthy of baptism in 1987 at the age of sixteen. This was done without any parental guidance, as you are aware my parents divorced when I was twelve years old and my father has from that point to this very day been absent from my life. I continued after High School graduation with my focus on serving in the congregation over pursuing a career in the world. And while every single one of my peers from my age group who is in the congregation today continued to go on to full time jobs in their father?s family business or on their own desired career, I instead Auxiliary Pioneered full time my first year out of High School. And I choose this course in spite of being offered a full scholarship to college from my Grandfather, which I declined. This course was happily chosen even though I was also offered a full architectural internship at XXX Incorporated. I chose to further my efforts with the prescribed activities of the WTS after High School even though my counselor called my mother and told her that she was crazy for not making her child with a 3.8 GPA to continue his education at college. I continued my growth in the congregation, serving as an outstanding example to others to look to. Indeed, it was shining enough of an example that it inspired my family to regularly attend meetings. My brother and mother eventually followed my steps and became baptized also. At the age of 21, I was deemed a responsible, spiritual young man by the congregation and therefore by appointment that I then served as a Ministerial Servant. I continued to grow in my service and then became a Regular Pioneer at age 22. Up to that point in my almost decade of attending the congregation, I was the first brother to Regular Pioneer in the congregation that I could observe. Other opportunities availed themselves that I took advantage of, such as serving as a Temp at Brooklyn Bethel and volunteering my talents at Quick Builds.
The majority of my life has been in service under the umbrella of the WTS to Jehovah God, and stands as a living testament that can never be spoken against by anyone that dares say that I take spiritual matters lightly. In fact, of the elder body members now in force in the congregation, I dare say the majority who are now appointed do not have such an outstanding record from such a youthful age. In fact there are only two currently in the congregation serving as elders who have even taken up the opportunity to Regular Pioneer that I am aware of. I say this not to shame you or to boast, but rather to emphasize the seriousness in which I have taken spiritual matters throughout my life. It is an undisputable record.
And I feel it is appropriate to mention that many in the congregation have stepped in during my youth and helped me where my broken family has failed. Needed fatherly direction can be easily recalled from such loving brothers as XXX, XXX, XXX, XXX, XXX, and XXX. And notably there have been others in the present congregation who have been there for my wife and I. How the XXX and XXX, among others, made themselves available to XXX and I for our wedding will never be forgotten. All of the actions by the above are certainly indicative of a true Christian, and will always be recalled as such.
This is why my current situation is such a confusing one to many. And it gives background into why I can say that some of the in-depth studying that I have done in the WTS literature has caused greater pain than I have ever known. The WTS is my family. And I am not looking to break it up, nor am I in search of dirt to prop up to use as a weak excuse to forgo my godly obligations. I am only in search of the truth that is spoken of in the Bible, and nothing else. What I pursued over the past few months was in whole-hearted agreement with the admonition found in much of the WTS? own literature, such as the information found in the following magazines:
*** w50 8/15 263 Name and Purpose of The Watchtower *** TheWatchtower does not claim to be inspired in its utterances, nor is it dogmatic. It invites careful and critical examination of its contents in the light of the Scriptures.
*** w59 5/15 305 Is It Wrong to Change Religions? *** If a person??s worship is wrong, his eternal welfare is in jeopardy. But how is he to know whether his worship is right or wrong? That is determined by whether it is in harmony with God??s written Word. He cannot take someone ??s word for it. He must go to the Bible himself and study what it says. Just because the religious leaders in his religion as well as his parents and others say it is the true form of worship, that does not make it so.
*** Awake! October 22, 1973 p. 6 Examine the Evidence ***
Reasonable persons agree that the only fair method is to examine the evidence on both sides, both for and against a disputed theory. That is how one arrives at the truth.
*** Awake! 2000 June 22***
But it is far better for each individual personally to choose what he will feed his mind. It is said that we are what we eat, and this can apply to food for both the body and the mind. No matter what you are reading or watching or listening to, test to see whether it has propagandistic overtones or is truthful. Moreover, if we want to be fair-minded, we must be willing to subject our own opinions to continual testing as we take in new information.
And that is exactly what I did.
The reason that I decided to do the research in the first place was because of in-depth studying that I was doing for the Isaiah book Study. I wanted to learn more of the history of Babylon and Assyria. I have a predisposition of enjoying the study of history, and such studying was enjoyable as I was studying the Isaiah & Daniel Books from the WTS.
It started when I checked out four books from the library on the history of Babylon. As I read through the books, I was deeply impressed how archeology and Bible prophesy coincided. But then I ran across something that seemed odd.
A book mentioned that the fall of Jerusalem occurred in 587 BCE, not 607 BCE. I thought this weird, so I checked another book that I had from the library. It said the same thing. I checked all of the books, and to my surprise, they all agreed on the 587 BCE date.
I was blown away. Here was a date, 607 BCE, that I always assumed was accepted as fact by archeologists, and here to find out that the real accepted date was really 587 BCE. I didn?t understand why the WTS didn?t at least let me know that there was another date out there during our study of the Daniel and Isaiah books. To me the WTS omitting this information from these books that we have been considering in the book study over the past three years felt like an all out lie to me. Like my father flat out telling me a lie. I always trusted the WTS without question. But now, well I started to view things with a grain of salt. I had to ask, ?What else has the WTS ?spun? to me? What other information is being whitewashed??
I always wondered why so many got bent out of shape over the 1975 date. Some explained to me that some JW?s during that time read too much into the WTS literature. I wondered to myself, ?I wonder what I would have thought if I was reading the literature back then? Would I have been stumbled at 1975??
So I for the first time I examined the publications leading up to 1975. I searched to prove to myself that many probably did read too much into the WTS literature. And here is some of what I found:
*** w68 5/1 272 Making Wise Use of the Remaining Time *** 7 The immediate future is certain to be filled with climactic events, for this old system is nearing its complete end. Within a few years at most the final parts of Bible prophecy relative to these ?last days? will undergo fulfillment, resulting in the liberation of surviving mankind into Christ?s glorious 1,000-year reign. What difficult days, but, at the same time, what grand days are just ahead!
October 8, 1968 Awake!, on page 13
The fact that fifty-four years of the period called the "last days" have already gone by is highly significant. It means that only a few years, at most, remain before the corrupt system of things dominating the earth is destroyed by God.
** w68 8/15 499 Why Are You Looking Forward to 1975? *** Our chronology, however, which is reasonably accurate (but admittedly not infallible), at the best only points to the autumn of 1975 as the end of 6,000 years of man?s existence on earth. It does not necessarily mean that 1975 marks the end of the first 6,000 years of Jehovah?s seventh creative ?day.? Why not? Because after his creation Adam lived some time during the ?sixth day,? which unknown amount of time would need to be subtracted from Adam?s 930 years, to determine when the sixth seven-thousand-year period or ?day? ended, and how long Adam lived into the ?seventh day.? And yet the end of that sixth creative ?day? could end within the same Gregorian calendar year of Adam?s creation. It may involve only a difference of weeks or months, not years.
*** w68 8/15 500 Why Are You Looking Forward to 1975? *** 35 One thing is absolutely certain, Bible chronology reinforced with fulfilled Bible prophecy shows that six thousand years of man?s existence will soon be up, yes, within this generation!
*** OKM 5/74 3 How Are You Using Your Life? ***
Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world?s end.
But when the ?end? didn?t come, this was the WTS? explanation:
*** w76 7/15 441 A Solid Basis for Confidence *** 15 If anyone has been disappointed through not following this line of thought, he should now concentrate on adjusting his viewpoint, seeing that it was not the word of God that failed or deceived him and brought disappointment, but that his own understanding was based on wrong premises.
The wrong premises were derived at solely from the literature printed by the WTS. There was no on else to blame. And yet, the WTS here tried to pin the failed expectation on the reader, and not the WTS itself.
I felt deeply betrayed after doing this research. Even if the WTS was wrong, it would have made it easier to believe that the WTS was still the Faithful and Discreet Slave if they at least came out with an apology like this:
?Our flawed doctrinal understanding clouded the plain gospel of Jesus Christ and led to a variety of wrong conclusions and unscriptural practices. We have much to repent and apologize for. We were judgmental and self-righteous, condemning other Christians, calling them ?so-called Christians?, and labeling them deceived and instruments of Satan.
We imposed on our members a works-orientated approach to Christian living. We required adherence to burdensome regulations of the Old Testament code. We exercised a strong legalistic approach to church government.
Our former old covenant approach fostered attitudes of exclusivism and superiority rather than the new covenant teachings of brotherhood and unity.
We overemphasized predictive prophesy and prophetic speculation, minimizing true gospel of salvation through Jesus Christ.
These teachings and practices are a source of supreme regret. We are painfully mindful of the heartache and suffering that has resulted from them.
We?ve been wrong. There was never an intent to mislead anyone. We were so focused on what we believed we were doing for God that we didn?t recognize the spiritual path we were on. Intended or not, that path was not the Biblical one.
As we look back, we ask ourselves how we could have been wrong. Our hearts go out to all whom our teachings have misled in the scriptures. We don?t minimize your spiritual disorientation and confusion. We earnestly desire your understanding and forgiveness.?
That was a beautiful apology. A fitting appeal for forgiveness from a heart that displays the attributes of a servant of Jehovah God. Those of humility, of being faithful, and a desire to be discreet. A truly Faithful and Discreet Slave. The problem is that is wasn?t made by the WTS. It was printed in the magazine, ?The Plain Truth?, by Herbert Armstrong of the Worldwide Church of God. It stands in stark contrast to the ?apology? the WTS gave for 1975. In fact, when I met with the elders initially on this matter, they told me flat out that it was never intended as an apology from the WTS. Such an admission by that elder took my breath away. The arrogance was literally breathtaking!
And as I look over more recent ?promises? made in the name of Jehovah God by the WTS, it really made me think. I looked at the recent change of the meaning of ?generation?. Obviously that promise failed. Back in the ?60?s wild promises were made regarding ?that generation?:
Awake! May 22, 1969 p. 15
" If you are a young person, you also need to face the fact that you will never grow old in this present
system of things. Why not? Because all the evidence in fulfillment of Bible prophecy indicates that this corrupt system is due to end in a few years. Of the generation that observed the beginning of the "last days" in 1914, Jesus foretold: "This generation will by no means pass away until all these things occur."- Matt. 24:34
*** w84 5/15 5 1914-The Generation That Will Not Pass Away *** If Jesus used ?generation? in that sense and we apply it to 1914, then the babies of that generation are now 70 years old or older. And others alive in 1914 are in their 80?s or 90?s, a few even having reached a hundred. There are still many millions of that generation alive. Some of them ?will by no means pass away until all things occur.??Luke 21:32.
And the actual masthead in the Awake magazine gives the most disturbance to me:
"the Creator?s promise of a peaceful and secure new world before the generation that saw the events of 1914 passes away." ?Awake! magazine, page 4, thru October 22, 1995
Here, the WTS is making promises in the name of the Creator, Jehovah God. Such a promise of course never came true. This statement is troubling because it is a promise in the name of the Creator, Jehovah God. It seems to be exactly what we are warned against at Deuteronomy 18:20-22:
*** Rbi8 Deuteronomy 18:20-22 *** 20 ??However, the prophet who presumes to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded him to speak or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. 21 And in case you should say in your heart: ?How shall we know the word that Jehovah has not spoken?? 22 when the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him.?
The Bible could not be any clearer on how to identify a false prophet. The WTS fell directly into the trap of speaking in the name of our Creator, Jehovah God. The WTS tried to explain it away with this article:
*** g93 3/22 4 Why So Many False Alarms? ***
Jehovah?s Witnesses, in their eagerness for Jesus? second coming, have suggested dates that turned out to be incorrect. Because of this, some have called them false prophets. Never in these instances, however, did they presume to originate predictions ?in the name of Jehovah.? Never did they say, ?These are the words of Jehovah.?
The WTS says that they never spoke in the name of Jehovah, but that is exactly what the Awake masthead did say, in the name of our Creator, Jehovah God. Besides, if we as Jehovah?s Witnesses are not speaking for Jehovah God on the earth today, who is? Either we are speaking for Jehovah or we are not. The WTS can not have it both ways to suit what puts them in the best light at the time.
I have done numerous amounts of research besides this, and it doesn?t put the WTS is any better light. The fact the Russel?s grave is marked by a smaller version of the Great Pyramid of Egypt, that the WTS was a member of the United Nations for ten years as a non-governmental agency, or that the Governing Body willingly let the brothers in Mexico bribe officials to get an ?Identity Cartilla? [certificate] to be able to get employment and a passport but at the same time the Governing Body told the brothers in Malawi that they could not get a political card and had to endure beatings, rapes, and murders just adds fuel to the fire. It hurts me and I am seriously stumbled learning all that I have of the WTS? past and at what I have alluded to above.
I can not help but recall the comforting words that Jesus spoke of in Matthew:
*** Rbi8 Matthew 18:6 *** 6 But whoever stumbles one of these little ones who put faith in me, it is more beneficial for him to have hung around his neck a millstone such as is turned by an ass and to be sunk in the wide, open sea.
The WTS has endeavored to relay spiritual food in these days. But in doing so, there is a level of accountability for what they dispense. When they speak falsely, even when it is unintentional, they can stumble others such as myself, people who have been wholly interested in serving Jehovah God and meeting the standards found in the Bible. There is a reckoning for such misguidance of God-fearing people like myself. I am happy to know that I can rest my hopes in Jesus as the final arbitrator of such matters. Only he can read hearts. Only he can render true justice in such matters.
I find comfort in the Bible where Jesus says:
*** Rbi8 Matthew 11:28-30 *** 28 Come to me, all YOU who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh YOU . 29 Take my yoke upon YOU and learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and YOU will find refreshment for YOUR souls. 30 For my yoke is kindly and my load is light.?
I find refreshment in now reading the Bible free of an organization telling me how to interpret Gods Word. For the first time, I now get to exercise my perceptive powers as promised in the Bible:
*** Rbi8 1 John 2:26 - 3:8 *** 26 These things I write YOU about those who are trying to mislead YOU. 27 And as for YOU, the anointing that YOU received from him remains in YOU, and YOU do not need anyone to be teaching YOU; but, as the anointing from him is teaching YOU about all things, and is true and is no lie, and just as it has taught YOU, remain in union with him. 28 So now, little children, remain in union with him, that when he is made manifest we may have freeness of speech and not be shamed away from him at his presence. 29 If YOU know that he is righteous, YOU gain the knowledge that everyone who practices righteousness has been born from him. 7 Little children, let no one mislead YOU; he who carries on righteousness is righteous, just as that one is righteous.
When I read this after my research it was like I read it for the first time ever in my life. The Bible plainly states that those born from Holy Spirit need NO ONE teaching them. So in truth, today those of the 144,000 still on earth do not need a Governing Body setting guidelines for them. The Holy Spirit already does that. And above it says the EVERYONE who practices righteousness has been born from him. There is no class distinction of a Great Crowd and a Little Flock.
The WTS acts as the mediator between God and us today. Only the WTS can explain the Bible for us. But that?s not what the Bible says:
*** Rbi8 1 Corinthians 11:3 *** 3 But I want YOU to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.
*** Rbi8 1 Timothy 2:5-6 *** 5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, a man, Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself a corresponding ransom for all?[this is] what is to be witnessed to at its own particular times
In fact, the following scripture was eye opening in light of how one specific elder [you likely know who I am referring to, which is an indictment in itself] in the congregation was trying to hone in between my wife and I in regards to spiritual matters:
*** Rbi8 Ephesians 5:22-32 *** Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, 23 because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of [this] body. 24 In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything. ?
28 In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 ?For this reason a man will leave [his] father and [his] mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.? 32 This sacred secret is great. Now I am speaking with respect to Christ and the congregation.
What man would allow another man to come in between him and his wife? No one! In fact, the bible clearly states that the two would be so close that they would be one flesh. No one can come between ones who are one flesh. And to drive the point home about how close Jesus is to the congregation, Paul here says that the sacred secret is that Jesus is ONE FLESH with the congregation. No man or organization can come between them, not even a Governing Body. Would anyone honing in on the relationship between Jesus and the congregation be considered adulterer?
Jesus does not need a man-made organization to teach us today. He said:
*** Rbi8 John 14:15-17 *** ?If YOU love me, YOU will observe my commandments; 16 and I will request the Father and he will give YOU another helper to be with YOU forever, 17 the spirit of the truth, which the world cannot receive, because it neither beholds it nor knows it. YOU know it, because it remains with YOU and is in YOU.
*** Rbi8 John 14:26 *** 26 But the helper, the holy spirit, which the Father will send in my name, that one will teach YOU all things and bring back to YOUR minds all the things I told YOU.
It is plain to see that the Holy Spirit would teach Jesus? true disciples. And the Holy Spirit would teach the congregation forever! Paul in Romans tells it perfectly. In fact the entire book of Romans is good for demonstrating that the law is our hearts, not a written law as the WTS prescribes in it?s publications today:
*** Rbi8 Romans 2:14-16 *** 14 For whenever people of the nations that do not have law do by nature the things of the law, these people, although not having law, are a law to themselves. 15 They are the very ones who demonstrate the matter of the law to be written in their hearts, while their conscience is bearing witness with them and, between their own thoughts, they are being accused or even excused. 16 This will be in the day when God through Christ Jesus judges the secret things of mankind, according to the good news I declare.
I am following my conscience now, what is written in my heart. Let no man accuse me otherwise. I find it sad that when the elders asked me what answers I had if I didn?t believe that the WTS was right, they would always ask, ?Where else will I go??
It?s sad to me because these well-intentioned men constantly MISQUOTE the Bible. What the scripture REALLY says is this:
*** Rbi8 John 6:68-70 *** 68 Simon Peter answered him: ?Lord, whom shall we go away to? You have sayings of everlasting life; 69 and we have believed and come to know that you are the Holy One of God.?
I do not plan on going away to any specific place. What I do plan on doing is going away to a person. Not to the members of the Governing Body as I have been doing all these years, but to WHOM has sayings of everlasting life, Jesus Christ. It?s not a question of WHERE, it?s a matter of WHOM. I just have been serving the wrong person all these years. I?m changing that now and am going to follow my Bible trained conscience on matters from here on out. Again, let no man judge me for doing what I deem is right in my heart!
Which brings me to the conclusion of matters. It?s almost funny if it were not so sad in having to formally go through the action. It?s comical to a degree because the words DISFELLOWSHIP and DISASSOCIATE are two words that are not even found in the Bible. As JW?s we are prone to demean others belief in the Trinity because, ?The word Trinity is not even fond in the Bible.? It?s too bad that the same leap in reasoning can not be made in regards to the terms DISFELLOWSHIP and DISASSOCIATE by a JW. What is scary is that the word DISFELLOWSHIP isn?t even a real word to be found in an English dictionary. It?s a word that is made up by the WTS.
Therefore I hereby rescind my membership as a dedicated publisher of the WatchTower Bible and Tract Society. Or to use the terminology familiar to the WTS, I hereby DISASSOCIATE myself from the WTS. Please do not feel sorry for me or pity me for risking my everlasting life at the soon approaching Armageddon. I no longer fear the doomsday prophesies of the WTS. Rather, I hold to the words found in Deuteronomy:
*** Rbi8 Deuteronomy 18:22 *** 22 when the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him.?
It is my dearest and most sincere hope that some day you too put aside your predisposed thoughts regarding Jehovah God and his son Christ Jesus and stop fearing the WatchTower and take a fresh look at the Bible. And when that day comes, regardless of what judgment you are obligated to met out to me today due to your responsibilities as an elder for the WTS, I will wholeheartedly embrace you with whatever need you are in. I will also stop and say hi to you tomorrow if I see you in the store or at a restaurant. I am not going to shun you because of the rules of the WTS. I am no longer in fear of their rules. I hope that you can stop feeling fear also. The fear we feel because we were to miss a meeting for no other reason than we were just too tired. Or to no longer fear making the monthly average for a few months. True Christianity is not ruled by fear, it is ruled by love. And knowing this love is truly a liberating experience. For the first time in my life there has never been more truth to Jesus words:
*** Rbi8 Matthew 11:28-30 *** 28 Come to me, all YOU who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh YOU . 29 Take my yoke upon YOU and learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and YOU will find refreshment for YOUR souls. 30 For my yoke is kindly and my load is light.?
With Warmest Christian Love,
XXX