a post in this thread by dorayakii in this thread:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/95493/1.ashx made me think about this thread.
To me, even from the outside, the society has always seemed legalistic and cold, eager to find faults, which is precisely the opposite to how Jesus formed Christianity. However, many people don't see that perspective, because they are not in a position of imtimacy with the leaders of the organisation. Maybe it's because my father is a particularly cold and legalistic elder that i've been exposed to so much of the society's "dirty linin". This insight into the central core of the organisation was like opening a box and seeing with my own eyes what i already knew was there.
When you are not 'privi' to information they don't seem to care if it hurts the outer rim or out of the loop for info the cong.
There was a pioneer couple that had recently got married and she had two sons. One of the boys wanted friendship with my oldest son. They were 11-12 at the time. The mother called me to talk to me about a sleep over. We all agreed it would be fun. We discussed movies watched, food that would be consumed and settled on the boys coming to my home. All was planned in advance at least a week. Everyone was looking forward to this sleep over. I made cookies, we popped popcorn, had pizza, etc.
When the boys left the next day, my son was acting funny, you know quiet and withdrawn. It took weeks before... (with coaxing and loving hugs) to find out the problem. This oldest boy slept with my son (double bed). During the night my son was awakened by this boy's hands on his private parts! When my son told him to stop, the boy wanted to 'make out'. Of course this was the first experience of any kind for my son and didn't know what to do. My son told him that he would kill him if he touched him again and moved to sleeping on the floor.
During the time after this event, of course we went to a few meetings where this boy that had slept over threatened my son that if he told (his step dad now an elder) that they would get us in trouble. My poor son lived with this... This boy got other boys to call my son a sissy and names in the coat room, bathroom, and in the parking lot where I couln't not observe. I was so upset when he told me this!
I called the boy's mother who had arranged everything with me and asked her what was going on and why didn't she tell me? She said, 'oh he will outgrow it, we are egnoring it till it passes, the elders know about it'. THEN she proceeded to tell me that they pray about it to Jehovah! I was upset and told her that I had no problems with her son and his orientation or thinking and was not judging him. BUT if she HAD TOLD me, there would have been a great evening with the events and we would have drove him home afterwards, OR given him his own bed to sleep in with his own privacy and my son's! But why the 'surprise' on us and my son!!! She KNEW what the sleeping arrangements were! She even suggested that young boys try this and my son was probably doing it too! I was furious. No apologies. I thought how arragant! She was not helping her son nor talking to him to find out what HE was all about. She cared nothing for my son who thinks differently and had that awful experience of being afraid to tell me for fear of retaliation!
I called an elder, and basically he told me the same thing and asked me not to talk about it with others and that they were keeping an eye on the stituation! Believe me this changed the things I did for that family and how I felt of that elder. I learned that I had to watch out for myself and my children.
I sat my son and daughter down and filled them in on what happened. They then proceeded to tell me of all the teasing (because they wore old clothes to the meeting, and we were poor at the time because I was raising them alone, etc.) What I heard them say about the 'truth' they were living (an actual hell, and they hated the org). That really made me think. I told them they didn't have to go anymore, nor did they ever have to go back if their hearts were not in it. I wrote about the events that got me out before in another post, but this really helped me to make my decision.
We have never looked back nor ever thought we would go back. I visited a few times because I wanted to see who was left and what kind of path they all went down after we left. I saw they were not blessed because it all fell apart. My family though is still together and we are alive and well.
I hope any same-sex readers were not offended by any of my words here, I by-no-means meant that being gay is wrong. Our being upset was because of the way we were not told so that we could have dealt with 'my son's' experience as we saw fit. We had choices too that were just trampled on. I don't believe ANY one or ANY organization can tell anyone how to live their lives!
out of the box