It is hard for me to transcibe certain feelings into written words especially since I'm not what you would consider to be a real emotional person. I have also mastered the art of rarely showing any outward emotional expression. I will try and do my best to give you some of the feelings I experienced today through my eyes, so please bare with me.
I drove the hour to McMinnville which is a small town about forty miles south of Portland. It is located in the lush Yamhill Valley which is now famous for its many wineries which are scattered among it's rolling green hills. The country side is beautiful and the land is shared by both vineyards and small country farms. I have a good feeling that is one of the things that might have attracted Robert Bryant to this part of the country. Many have called this
part of the United States God's country.
I stopped by my sisters house to meet up with my brother in-law Jeb who I mentioned in another post owns the
local newspaper. Jeb and I were going to attend the Bryant memorial together. As in most small towns everything
seems to be a few blocks away from where you are and so it was with the Bethel Baptist church where the memorial was to take place.
As Jeb and I pulled up we could see the tall microwave antennas sticking up from atop the News trucks that were parked in the back lot of the church. We arrived about fifty minutes early because we anticipated a large turn out and wanted to make sure we had a place to sit. Being an exJW and having an ingrained uneasiness for churches I felt a little strange walking into this very large church. I turned to Jeb after we entered the doorway and told him this was only the third time since becoming associated with the JW when I was four years old that I had stepped foot into a church. The other two times were also for funerals for the relatives of good friends of mine many years after I left the religion.
We walked further down the entry way and signed the register book like I had done at the other non JW funerals that I had attended. After we signed our names we turned and started to enter the main worship area. There by the big double wide doors were pictures of the Bryant family. One large photo in the middle that looked to be a few years old judging by the recent school photos of the Bryant children. I looked at the family photo and thought to myself that this did indeed look like a typical JW family. Father, wife and four children. Two boys, two girls and somewhat close in age. This was a perfect group of what most would consider the ideal family.
As I looked at the happy faces of the children in the photos something snapped and reality instantly clicked in, I realized what I was there for. Those children in those photos were all dead, all four of them along with their mother and father. These beautiful young boys and girls were no longer smiling faces but lifeless corpuses. For a few moments I couldn't feel anything, I just stared at the photos. I thought of my own kids and how I love to look at photos of them as they grew up and their appearance slowly changed from cute little babies into young men. These photos I was looking at were the last photos of the Bryant's that would ever be taken. I have been to several JW funerals but not one single one of them ever had photos of the person who had died. JW funerals are not about those who have passed but more of an infomercial for the JW religion.
I walked away from the photos quickly slipping back into my easy going and non-emotional appearance and continued into the main worship area. As I walked into the main area I was amazed at its size. You could fit three average kingdom halls in the one church and still have room to roam around freely. It reminded me more of a small JW assembly hall than it did a church when compared to the kingdom halls I was use to.
In the front there were a dozen or so flower arrangements and three or four wreaths. There were two large pieces of paper with several dozen drawings and notes from many of the kids that attended school with the Bryant children.
They were all very nice and considering the circumstance fairly up beat and cheerful looking. I looked at a few of them and one of the notes that was drawn in crayon stuck out. It sad a few nice things about one of the Bryant girls and then at the end there was a simple and personal comment. It said "and I'm sorry for making fun of you." Ya, A tiny lump shot up in my throat.
As I looked around at the flower arrangements one of them caught my eye. It was a wreath of white flowers and a white ribbon that hung below. The wreath had a few words stapled on the ribbon in gold letters. It said "Shunned no more."
I remembered that dungbeetle said she had sent flowers. I don't know for an absolute certainty if this was the arrangement that she had sent but I told Jeb that I thought it might be. At that moment all of you were there with me. At that moment all of it was starting to make a little sense. At that moment that little lump came back and as much as I am not a damn emotional person all I could think of is how incredibly loving all you evil apostates can be. Our little online group had a unique presence in a foreign church thousands of miles away from the computer server box that is home to the thousands of digital codes that make up all our daily posts. I was not just one exJW attending the memorial of another exJW bout rather I was one of several hundred of you that were sending your love for the Bryant's from all around the world.
I sat down with Jeb and a little smile came to my face. Even though I felt strange being in a church for a memorial service of people I never met I didn't feel alone at all. With in a few minutes the main worship area began to fill up. There were reporters in the back with both video and photo cameras and they began taking shots of the kids that were coming in. One of the Bryant children's entire class came and had reserved seats up front. As I looked around I figured there were around sixty to eighty kids scattered around the room. In total and from my best estimation there were over three hundred people who filled up the main area. All from different thoughts and philosophies in life. All there because they cared about people who lived in their small town.
The pastor came up and had everyone rise. The sister of Robert Bryant's wife (Sharon Roe) came in from the side with her husband and what looked to be her daughter and son. The pastor said a short prayer and then another pastor came up to the podium and said that Sharon Roe had picked out three songs that the congregation would sing. I thought this was odd because I knew that Sharon was also an exJW and I wondered how she knew any of the songs from what we were all taught to be from false religious song books. The first song was called out from a song book that was sitting behind the seat in every row. The song was "In the Garden." As it started I recognized it instantly because I had heard that song many times in the movies. It seemed to be one that is used a lot in religious funerals outside of the JW religion. The other two songs that were sung later were Yes Jesus loves me and Amazing Grace.
After the third song I smiled and leaned over to Jeb and told him I knew why Sharon picked those songs. They were probably the only non-JW religious songs she recognized the names of. Like me and many of you we have heard them several times in the movies.
The pastors began to talk pretty much as I expected and read verses from the bible about hope and resurrection to heaven, the typical things I would think is talked about in church. He talked a little about each of the Bryant children and some of their achievements. He talked about how the family had move to Oregon to make a new start. The JW's were not mentioned once but the pastor alluded to speculation of why this horrible situation may have happened.
Sharon Roe then got up to say a few words about The Bryant family. She wanted it to be very clear that Robert Bryant was a loving and caring father and that once their family moved to Oregon things began to look up for them. She did not mention the JW's either but rather spent all of her time trying to reassure people that she did not blame Robert but understood a little about maybe why this all happened.
The pastor got up after Sharon sat down and said that he had felt bad that he never had a chance to meet the Bryant family. He also said that the community of McMinnvill might of tried to reach out to the Bryant family and embrace them more than what they had done. He then read a card that was written by Sharon Roe and addressed to the people of McMinnville. It was very touching and very thankful for what they had done for people they did not even know. I thought to myself, there wasn't one single JW in the room but all these people from different churches and different parts of town came to pay their respect to people out of one simple concept, love for their fellow human.
Yes, these are the same people we were taught as JW's that were wicked, evil and would soon be destroyed by Jehovah god. These were the people we were taught that did not know the meaning of true love and only were out to satisfy their own selfish desires. These people had nothing to gain by coming to this memorial. They had no one specific religious philosophy to try and sell nor were they there to judge or point fingers. They were there simply to show genuine love for people who once lived in their small town. This little community of McMinnville Oregon showed more love for their neighbor than I have seen shown by all the hundreds of JW's that I had met in my life. I did not hear one accusation or one single comment that sounded condescending or self righteous. All I heard was words of comfort and questions about why this all happened.
I'm going to stop here and make another post in a few days. I want to tell you about another exJW that was at the service and the story she had told Jeb and I. Some of you know her. She said she knows Alan F, Venice's dad Bruce and Bill Bowen of Silent Lambs. I will not go into full detail about everything she said but I will give you the general idea.
I would like to give you a link to an interview conducted by Jeb with Sharon Roe. This is the first part of a two part interview. I would love to go into the details but I promised Jeb that I would just give the link to the article in his newspaper. The second half of the two hour interview will be published in Jeb's newspaper on Saturday. If it contains some of the things that Jeb told me about it should be an extremely interesting article. After the Saturday article is up and you have had a chance to read it I will ask Jeb if I can fill in any of the missing pieces that might not be covered in the article. What Sharon Roe had to say about Robert, shunning, and the JW's is important to each and every one of you.
I will post the link to the second part on Saturday. Here is the link to the first part in today's News Register.
Take care everyone and thanks again for being there with me. Except for the few JW's who corrupt this board and the few insecure trouble makers I am proud to call each and every one of you my friend.
Dave