Online Imposters: How Would You Identify Them?

by Scully 102 Replies latest members adult

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  Scully

  The internet is such an amazing frontier, isn't it?

  Freedom of information at your fingertips. Free exchange of ideas with people from all over the world. Vast networks of support in times of illness and trouble for those who need it. Making friends from all over the world, perhaps even making plans to meet them someday.

  We've all heard about identity thieves and how people can use your information to ruin your credit rating, phishing sites that get you to surrender your banking or credit card information under the guise of ensuring your account's security, and scam artists from Nigeria promising millions of dollars if you cooperate with their highly important and very wealthy (but unfortunately incarcerated with no access to his own money) benefactor and send them a certified cheque for $500 or $1000. We are educating ourselves, we are protecting ourselves from con artists. Good for us. We are smarter than them much of the time, yay for us.

  What happens though when someone you've developed an online friendship with - a friendship that you entered in good faith and were honest with for your part - has not been as honest and forthright with you? How would you, as a person who is trustworthy and offers trust in return, know if someone was playing mindgames with you? What would make you suspicious? What kinds of things would start making you question the honesty of the person you've been involved with? I'm not necessarily talking about a romantic online relationship, just a supportive friendship that develops due to common interests. If there was no monetary consequence to you, would it matter that the person was essentially lying to you for all that time? Would it bother you that honest information about yourself that you freely gave, was exchanged for lies?

  Has anyone here ever encountered a situation like this? How did you figure it out? What were the warning signs? How long did it take for you to figure out that you'd been played? Did you find out whether you were the only victim? Did you confront the other person? If you did, how did it go? If you didn't, did you terminate the friendship in some way?

  It's important to talk about situations like this. They do happen. They have happened here on JWD in the past. What would make you start questioning someone's credibility here? How would you deal with it?
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  IP_SEC

  Heck scully, I get fooled in real life, nevermind the internet.

  I have become much more suspicious of ppl on JWD. Esp newbies. It is usually just a gut feeling extrapolated from posts. Sometimes there is a phrase or style I can put my finger on. Sometimes not.

  For the most part though, I just keep extending trust and seeing where it goes.
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  John Doe

  I use gut instinct, and it's not something I can articulate or narrow down to a set of criteria. Some people just don't "feel" right. I also limit the vast majority of my online time to the public forums--not to pms.
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  JeffT

  I'm a frequent visitor to (and admin on one) some military/history/politics boards that are a great source of information. We also get some kooks from time to time. We recently banned one guy who was claiming to be an active duty officer in the British Army. Somebody in the UK who was up on such things realized something he said could not possibly have been true. On one of these boards a few years ago a fellow claimed to be a retired Japanese naval engineer who had helped build the battleship Musashi during WWII. If you know anything about naval history you know what a celebrity he was - for awhile. Eventually some one got suspicious and asked him a question in Japanese. We never heard from him again.

  In both cases it was provable (or disprovable) details that tripped them up. I think that eventually an imposter will slip up and reveal himself.
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  Happy Harvester

  It's clear to me that people here frequently change their screennames, due more to anonymity issues than anything else. Sometimes one can over-expose oneself and one's family on forums like this, either unwittingly or knowingly, and then one wishes to change one's mind about how to handle the anger and sadness.

  If someone gives me good reason to mistrust them, or contradicts oneself, then I feel mistrusting; or I try to see if or why they changed their minds about their approach to things. Perhaps namechanges are a sign of growth, perhaps not. I just try to understand that people need the peace of mind that comes from feeling anonymous about such personal stuff as abuse issues.

  Sometimes you outgrow bitching about (or outgrow the craving to embarass your family or punish them as they have punished you), and when the time comes, you may want to return to anonymity.

  Just a thought or two, since you asked.
• 

  oompa

  This is the only place I have ever visited and dang if somone didn't steal me hump!!!....so I figured it out after seeing me just a dozen times or so....oompa
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  SnakesInTheTower

  I posted my Nigerian Dating Scam on here awhile back: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/141981/1.ashx Didnt take too long to figure it out...a couple of days of IM and emails...and eharmony took down "her" profile after i reported her....they took down another one because I busted them within hours of contact via email....couldnt get past some simple questions.....both imposters... US State Dept has a real good web page (PDF) that has other ways to identify them...

  A diff experience with online....While still an active dub, I dated a JW girl overseas online via IM/email/web cam/cell phone, etc... I jumped through hoops to make sure she was who she said she was. She gave me her PO name and I called WT NY to get the local branch in her country...I called them...struggled with the language barrier a bit... confirmed his identity and ironically her back story of her divorce with the Service Desk there (big country...small JW population)...had her PO write a letter for her to me...had my PO do the same.... so I knew she was on the up and up as a dub.....and her story checked out.....

  too bad there is no online filter for mental health issues... I flew to her country...24 hours flight/layovers....intended to spend 3 weeks with her and her family...ended up leaving after 4 days... she ended the relationship the day after i got there... 4 days of trying to talk sense into her, she walked into her room and would not come out until I left.....I feel bad for her...I believe she loved me, but initially I wonder if she wasnt just fishing for a free pass to the US via marriage...

  so even filtering for imposters.....you still get bad results.....

  I just try to ask probing questions........and try not spend so much damn money next time finding the answers..

  Snakes ()
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  tula

  How long did it take for you to figure out that you'd been played?

  Do you know something that we don't know? Have we been "played"?

  Excellent post, by the way.

  I am new to discussion boards, so I am just finding my way around. I do try to be cautious and observant.
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  blueviceroy

  As I expect nothing from anyone all things validate themselves or prove to be untrue. No hurt feelings no spoiled hopes or resentments. Attatchment to something as emphemeral as sentiment expressed online is not for me . Expressing only goodwill and holding no reservations for a return is paramount for good relations in the real world , on line this is even more true .

  Do what is right and expect nothing ,ever, believing another to feel your need for integrity is a fools belief and would make your belief of integrity worthless if it were the norm.

  Value only what you give not what you take.
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  tula

  		Oct 17, 2007

  		Oct 14, 2007