Why are many JWDers so adamant about keeping your thoughts to yourself?

by Awakened at Gilead 74 Replies latest members adult

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  Awakened at Gilead

  I'm starting this thread after reading a post that Dawg made earlier today on a thread about college:

  The reason this same conversation is being had today, is the same reason it'll be here tomorrow, there is no unified front willing to defeat the enemy before you now. Now you sit there looking back on your lives, feeling regret that you were too afraid to do what you wanted then, many of you will continue to bitch and moan all without doing anything about it. The youth in this so called religion will suffer as a result... fear, that's what kept you from completing your degrees and/or many other things you really wanted.
  
  MOST of you are too afraid to tell the ones you love your real feelings, you owe them and yourselves better. It's this fear that ruins lives, and the fact this fear keeps us that know better from uniting and destroying this enemy, that's is what sickens me the most.

  I have noticed that the balance of people on this board are very cautious about revealing to others about their true feelings about the WTS. Many continue to go to meetings, assemblies, etc... or at the least, are inactive yet do not tell spouses about their true anti-JW feelings.

  I have also taken some flak on some threads by posters who have told me that I need to slow down and be a little more subtle with friends and family. Others have told me that my posts are refreshing, since I am making such rapid anti-JW progress...

  I have just finished reading Hassan's mind-control book. Is this caution a result of his suggestions to try to help family members out of cults?

  Do you think that there is merit to Dawg's comments above that we are still afraid of the cult? Are we mainly concerned about the negative effects of shunning? Or is fading without communicating true feelings to loved ones another step in the WTS mind control?

  Your thoughts please.....

  A@G
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  daniel-p

  There is merit to both approaches. While I apreciate Dawg's comments, I don't think everyone who attempts to fade is doing so out of fear. Many people simply WANT to keep their family and know the likely consequences. Is that "living in fear"? I don't think so, not when you know the consequences and don't want them. Don't confuse not being a fraid with not caring. Regardless, we all have to make our own decisions. Having the delusion that "if we all just stood up in defiance things would change" disregards the reality of thousands of people.
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  Open mind

  "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

  Any sooner is wasted breath, if not actually counter-productive.

  IMO.

  YMMV.

  OM
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  jgnat

  Well, duh, there's consequences. There's a time for restraint and a time to speak up. I don't keep quiet out of fear. I speak when my words will have maximum impact. When the person is not in full-bore cult mode.

  Arguing with someone when they are full-bore cult mode is about as effective as negotiating with a charging rhino.

  Even so, I've let an elder "have it" once in a while. I was particularly unamused with the "no college" talk.
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  Quirky1

  A@G - I do not find others not willing to voice their feelings as to how they feel about the WTS. Actually I have seen a lot of conviction, emotion and sincerity on how others feel about the WTS. I don't see anybody holding back their feelings.

  If they are it is out of fear of being dicovered because some here do still have family in and have to be discreet since they do not want to jeopardize their relationship. Yet, for the most part I even see them display their animosity towards the WTS to an extent. Also, each individual here has different levels of circumstances and objections to the WTS and are all hurt differently their response then will be as so.

  As for me and the the other Jdubs, If they ask I will tell them no matter what the consequenses. My wife and children already know how I feel about the WTS very well. I have conveyed to my family that I will never set foot in a KH again and they know I mean it. This may not be the course for everyone here but it is mine and I'm happy.

  Quirky1
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  blondie

  Well, I have said over the years, "pearls before swine." I don't want to waste my time and energy in situations that won't yield much. In some cases, I have already had my say in the past and don't feel the need to repeat it too often. If I feel I have something new or different to add, I do.

  Blondie, an oldtimer
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  nicolaou

  The ladies have nailed it! I totally agree with jgnat and blondie, you have to carefully choose which battles you will fight and be aware of the consequences.

  My JW family may be maddeningly indoctrinated and judgemental Watchtower drones but they are still my family and I love them.
• 

  VoidEater

  Certainly there are those that dare not speak against their "elders". It is inculcated within many of us from infancy. Whether that elder is the abusive parent, the abusive spouse or the abusive religion, breaking out of that mindset is a challenge. It becomes an invisible, core belief that runs our lives.

  Perhaps the idea of freeing another or confronting the enemy is not the only avenue available. An alternative may be found in Gandhi, and perhaps what can change the world is just the simple acknowledgement of what we find to be true for ourselves.

  Then it's not so much a case of changing the world - it's rather a case of the world seeing that it is already changed.

  What if everyone acknowledged that the emperor was naked?

  Yes, there are True Believers in the WTS - but what if it came about that, say, 50% spoke out and said, "Hey, I personally don't believe this"?

  What if a huge segment of the JW population saw that, just like themselves, "most" had been playing along without believing it after all?

  Come out, come out, wherever you are...
• 

  joannadandy

  I'm not afraid. But I am respectful. There comes a point when you have to ask yourself, am I sharing this information with my family for their sake, or just my own? What do we really expect our families and friends to do with the information that we think the WTS is total BS?
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  journey-on

  Good question.

  But, this issue is like an onion with many many layers. Each individual and each family is different. For some,

  the layers have to be peeled back gently and one at a time. For others, you can cut right to the core....but if you do,

  sometimes it will bring tears of pain because once it is done this way, you can't undo it and you will have to suffer the consequences.

  Open mind expressed my basic opinion. You cannot change a person....when they are ready and the time is right, they

  change themselves. You can plant seeds here and there and be there for them when they are "ready", but the "in your face"

  rabid attack will not work 99.9% of the time.

  That being said, I'm sure there is fear involved for some people. What could some of those fears be?

  Fear this really is the Truth and you have been duped by Satan and his tool of apostate thinking.

  Fear you will lose your family.

  Fear your spouse will not love you as much or lose respect for you.

  Fear of the unknown out there without the JW crutch to lean on.

  Fear of losing the congregation's respect and high esteem of you.

  Fear you will be looked upon negatively or as immoral and worthless.

  Fear of lonliness when you lose all your friends.

  Fear you might actually have to take a step toward betterment of your life....no excuse now.

  It's like standing on a precipice and looking out across a vast expanse of space. Do you take

  the leap or not. It's a big decision.