Dear MrMoe, I'm really sorry to hear this. My mother has breast cancer and it's spread - so I guess I'll be in your position soon enough. It's very confronting isn't it?
With regards the dubbies? Why don't you tell them how rude you think they are and that they shouldn't bother to come and invade your private time with your mother if they can't behave like civil people.
They get away with this shit coz we let them. Watch them die of embarrassement when you tell them off. But wait until there is a doctor or nurse around, jsut to make them feel worse.
love and hugs
Marilyn