Update on my Mom - please read

by MrMoe 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    (((((((((Moe)))))))))

    So sorry you are going through this!

    Nikita

    "I think you ought to like what you do. Because there's a reasonably
    good chance no one else is going to."
    Rich Mullins

  • LB
    LB

    I'm very sorry about this entire ordeal.

    I was in the hospital room with my mom when she took her last breath. We knew, as you do, that time was very short. She was in a coma at the end and didn't know we were there. But we were.

    Death of a loved one still leaves me with a strange anger.

    I wish you a healthy recovery from your troubles. Just doesn't seem fair does it?


    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • blondie
    blondie

    Sorry, Mr. Moe. I wonder what your family thought when the new PO and his wife did not cut you dead?

    *** w82 1/15 31 Questions from Readers ***
    My son, who was baptized as a teenager, is now married and has a family. Because of the pressure of earning a living he has cooled off spiritually and does not associate with the congregation. Should he be viewed as a “disassociated” person?

    There is nothing in your description that would require such a viewpoint. The question may have arisen because of misunderstanding what it means to be viewed as “disassociated.”

    The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, page 23, showed that there is a difference between (a) a Christian who becomes spiritually weak and inactive, and (b) a person who clearly renounces his being one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, leading the congregation elders to announce that he has “disassociated” himself. It seems that your son fits the first description.

    The Watchtower mentioned that some Christians become weak in faith and spirituality. This occurred also in the first century. (Romans 14:1, 2; 1 Corinthians 11:30) It does not mean that they have ceased to be Christians. Even if they become so weak that they no longer share the “good news” with others and stop attending meetings, and they are not bringing reproach on the Christian congregation, they are still to be regarded as our spiritual brothers and sisters. We should want to help them lovingly, following the apostle Paul’s counsel: “We exhort you, brothers, admonish the disorderly, speak consolingly to the depressed souls, support the weak, be long-suffering toward all.” While the elders often take the lead in this, it is to be noted that this counsel was directed to all “the congregation of the Thessalonians.” (1 Thessalonians 1:1; 5:14) So the elders and others might offer loving help and encouragement, having in mind the advice: “Straighten up the hands that hang down and the enfeebled knees, and keep making straight paths for your feet, that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather that it may be healed.”—Hebrews 12:12, 13; Revelation 3:1-3.

    It is quite a different matter with a former Christian who is “disassociated.” This designation is applied basically in two situations:

    First, though it is uncommon, a person might decide that he absolutely no longer wants to be a Witness. We do not mean a person such as is described above, a spiritually weak or discouraged Christian who may express some doubts. Rather, we mean someone who resolutely declares that he absolutely is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Since in the past he voluntarily became a baptized member of the congregation, it would now be proper for him to inform the congregation that he is ending this relationship. It would be best if he did this in a brief letter to the elders, but even if he unequivocally states orally that he is renouncing his standing as a Witness, the elders can deal with the matter.—1 John 2:19.

    The second situation involves a person who renounces his standing in the congregation by joining a secular organization whose purpose is contrary to counsel such as that found at Isaiah 2:4, where we read concerning God’s servants: “They will have to beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning shears. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, neither will they learn war anymore.” Also, as stated at John 17:16, “they are no part of the world, just as I [Jesus] am no part of the world.”—Compare Revelation 19:17-21.
    In either of these two situations, the person by word and/or actions has clearly terminated his status as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, disassociating himself. Hence, the elders will announce briefly to the congregation that this individual has disassociated himself. Those in the congregation will accept the person’s decision and thereafter will view him as a former brother with whom they would not fellowship, in harmony with what we read at 1 Corinthians 5:11 and; 2 John 9-11.

    As can be appreciated, the spiritually weak and inactive son about whom the question was asked has not become a “disassociated” person in either of these two senses and no such announcement has been made in the congregation. So it still may be possible to aid him in the spirit of Romans 15:1: “We, though, who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those not strong.”—See also Isaiah 35:3.

  • crawdad2
    crawdad2

    hi moe,

    i guess now's not the time to have it out with those hypocrites.
    ..........i wish you peace..........

  • SEAKEN2001
    SEAKEN2001

    Hi Moe,

    I'm sorry to read your words about your mom. It was just eight months ago that I went through the same thing with my mom. Please accept my love and best wishes. I know it hurts and your feelings are all over the place. Take some time to yourself and resist the urge to lash out at those careless people. You know they are brain-dead and most are scared to death and afraid to admit it. I'm sure you'll find your way. You're already so farther ahead than ever possible as a Borg.

    Sean

  • Scully
    Scully

    MrMoe:

    Love you lots and lots,
    Scully

  • graceabounds
    graceabounds

    It's a shame that none of them ever learned how to empathize.
    But, I'm sure that they figure...Hey, it's gonna be alright,
    'cause Armegeddon is just around the corner....again.

    I, however, can empathize. I just lost my dad a little over
    a year ago...for a few weeks he was on morphine. We waited...
    those last days...and the woman that he had never married, but
    had been with for 20 years....never left his side all through
    the nights. She had a hospital bed put in(thru Hospice...they
    are great people...if you haven't contacted them...you might
    consider....they offered us grief counseling, also)...she had
    put an inflatable mattress in her room, and slept by the
    hospital bed...incase he needed anything thru the night.

    The last days are hard...you wait...and that's about all.
    They told us....through Hospice...that it is a good thing to
    tell the patient that you will be OK. Meaning, you will be OK
    after they are gone. I finally brought myself to do it...to
    tell my dad that me and my kids...we'd be OK. I think that some
    do hold on...even in pain...because they worry that their family
    will not make it. And even though, saying it, I wasn't sure that
    I would be OK....I said it.

    It's a difficult, painful time....My prayers are with you, and
    your mom.

    graceabounds

  • notperfectyet
    notperfectyet

    Mr.Moe,
    If there is a god, he is laying there with you and your Mom.
    If there isn't, You are laying there with your Mom.

    Bottom line..You are there, when no one else is.

    I cried alot when I read your post.

  • Yadira Angelini
    Yadira Angelini

    MrMoe,

    So sad! so sad! I'll be praying for you! love,

    Yadira

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    I feel so sad for the situation you're facing, it's tough and makes you raw for a while. But I'd like to add....that you'll ALWAYS have THAT experience [of lying there next to her and sharing good memories] to cherish in your heart forever.

    MY family chose to "bar" me from the hospital last October when my Mother died, and sent me the obit clippings when my grandparents died just a few years earlier (after I became a JW-----my father had forbidden family members to even acknowledge me if I "joined up" with the WTS, --I got baptized anyway-----and I'm still being treated the same way as if they WERE JWs and I was DFed--go figure) so I have missed out on so much....it still tears me up inside..shunned by JWs and "worldly" family too!

    BUT...my very best friend of 25 years (a JW)died of Cancer in '91, and two days before she passed, and while she was still pretty lucid---I had the opportunity to sit alone with her and do much the same thing as you did. We had shared EVERYTHING-one of those rare friends who are SO treasured and SO missed...and we had years of great memories and some funny experiences. I was extremely grateful that I had enjoyed her friendship, and even MORE grateful to have held her hand and yakked about things we had done--to laugh and to cry with her--it was just so special.

    My heart is with you during this time...(and the JW robots can kiss your backside)

    Keep us posted how things go, okay?

    Hugs,
    Annie

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