I have noticed that the elderly sisters will care for fellow sisters, such as picking them up for the meetings. But all the other jws ignore the elderly ones. If a jw is bedridden, then even fewer jws will visit them.
Has anyone else observed how the elderly JWs are neglected?
by Joepublisher1 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Deceived
I noticed it big time in 2006 when my Mom got brain cancer, suddenly no one wanted to deal with her anymore.
She was a faithful JW and they wouldn't even take her to meetings or assemblies because it was too much trouble with the wheelchair and she needed help in the bathroom. No one visited her except one couple who were pioneers and they could count their time with her. No one would help with housework except for one sister because my Mom would pay her out of her veterans allowance my Dad had and another lady I put on salary to sleep at my Mom's house the nights I couldn't. As soon as my Mom went in the nursing home those sisters were gone and never even visited her once. The one sister demanded I give her another months pay because I didn't give her notice when my Mom ended up suddenly in the "home" because she suddenly became incapacitated.
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daringhart13
I had to counsel a fellow elder when he grossly neglected his elderly mother. I got a call from a neighboring congregation elder that said his mother was basically ignored.
When I counseled him, he blew me off and said she was a 'pain in the arse'..... he serves to this day. Lives alone.....he is insanely wealthy and lives in a mansion.
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gutted
That's more a societal and human nature thing than JW specific. I'd venture it's more congregation to congregation as the one I was in years ago everyone took care of the elderly very well. There were 3 elderly that lived with their parents, many drove the others to the meetings and I remember groups would visit the sick during service.
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Joepublisher1
I appreciate the feedback and honest observations... I just can't stand when family members - esp. those who are geographically close by to their elderly parent(s) - can't assist more as they become more physically unable to care for themselves (cleaning the house, food shopping, lawn care, etc.). Why should an elderly person be expected to mow their own lawn? And, bending over to clean their own bathroom is MOST difficult. Of course, many of these elderly JWs are women living on meager SS monthly payments - just barely making it financially. So, they don't have the money to "pay" some stranger to do these things. "Token assistance" from their children just doesn't cut it. It just breaks my heart when someone puts more effort into getting their time in than taking care of their aging parent(s)! Scripturally, they are more obligated to care for their family (in this case their parent) than wasting time talking to noone in field service.
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minimus
My mom is regularly assisted by the congregation.
They might be the exception to the rule.
JWs have such a filled schedule, it is impossible to help anyone without neglecting your obligations.
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Joepublisher1
btw: I always thought it would be a good idea for JW families (Dad, Mom, their teenage children and younger) to go over their parent(s) home at least on a monthly basis and do the extra cleaning (inside and out) that elderly parent(s) physically cannot do anymore. This way, the parents are "showing" their children a good sermon - what's that saying, "I'd rather see a good sermon, than hear one." Everyone, but esp. children learn by their parent's example much more than by sermons.
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Joepublisher1
I do understand Minimus that JWs schedule is full (I lived it for decades and felt shame that I was neglecting worldly family myself although they weren't elderly - until I woke up of course). However, individual JWs NEED to make a choice. Their parents needs should come over any congregational or organizational demands (period) and they should NOT use those demands as "an excuse". It's just plain wrong - it's just my opinion. I'm not saying they have to fall out of their religion, but they should SET priorities - and elderly person has no choice when they cannot do something on their own anymore. They don't want to be a burden either - some will never even ask for help when it's obvious that they need it!
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label licker
Even the nursing home, Jah Jirah neglects their patients. And they are owned by wealthy jw's. Their promised that they will be taken to their meetings but that didn't happen. Their give shitty meals plus half a cup of scummy tea with a social tea cookie for a snack. They are shoved into a tiny room with no tx, just a bed and end table. Their understaffed and the girls are bitches when a request is made for a piece of bread and cheese instead of their shitty dinner. The patient got yelled at instead.
We had a local needs one time on looking after the elderly and guess who's parents got looked after while they went on a trip for a month from India to Africa? Our dope headed elder and his wife who's almost bald but has to color her hair orange. Yeah, the brothers looked after his father and the sisters looked after her mother while another elderly widow who had no family just had her leg amputated go without any help at all. These selfish pigs will pay one day.