Or GB approved head blinders so that when the new light comes there will be no distractions.
Watchtower Corporation enters new business to help sheeples see that the end is very, very near!
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 78 Replies latest social humour
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Heaven
the GB is getting very concerned that "the friends" are losing sight of the nearness of the panda-petting paradise.
leavingwt's thread "Armageddon Hasn't Arrived" must be doing a good job then. Woot!
( http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/201743/1/Armageddon-Hasnt-Arrived )
And yes, I've really had a long week and am loopy from lack of sleep. I'm too tired to go out and have fun. But I'm not ready to fall asleep just yet. So here I am...
Hey, me too Billy. Gotta work this weekend too - both days. 'Bin workin' 16-hour days. This workin' for a living is gonna kill me.And look, you can get them GB approved 'devices' in a 'Harry Potter' type style. Better not mention the HP words though as this stuff is 'evil':
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Satanus
Those will complete my dub halloween costume.
S
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Margarett
1914 was a megahit. The bible students hit the 'year' the 'season' (autumn due to calculation from the autumn of 607 BCE) and the 'event' - Jesus invisible global arrival , (the first horseman of Revelation) marked by very visible global war (the second horseman) The rest of the woes of the 4 horsemen galloped globally soon after. (the horsemen are not unheard of events, but take things global and connect everything globally)
Armageddon will commence before earth succumbs to man.
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tootired2care
ROFLOL! Well done Billy, thanks fopr cheering up my otherwise depressing day.
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cantleave
What happened in the "Autumn of 1914!? The war started in the summer!
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
"What happened in the "Autumn of 1914!? The war started in the summer!"
cantleave, Once you get fitted with a pair of Watchtower Goggles™, all such pesky questions and "apostate" facts will come into JW focus.
Put these on and not only will armageddon appear to be coming very soon now, but past historical events will be refocused to coincide with the hodgepodge of rewritten numero/pyramidological Watchtower "prophecies".
Pictured above, Sister Margaret* used to question whether earthquakes, famines, etc. have really been increasing since 1914. She had begun to question whether the world was such a bad place and whether billions of innocent people deserved to be destroyed. Now with her Watchtower Goggles perched atop her nose, she is plagued by constant headaches and prays for the end to come soon to relieve her pain. And with her "corrected perspective", she sees that the world and the people in it are terribly ugly and need to be slaughtered in terrible ways and get eatten by birds.
* Some names have been changed.
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tiki
OMG BILLY THE B!!!!!!!!!!!! This is absolutely the BEST!!! I am so hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep it up man!! (the wit, that is)
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
I heard a somewhat reliable rumor that it was announced yesterday at an SAD in California that the "Faithful Slave" has begun researching Watchtower Goggles that will give elders the ability to see your Interwebs viewing habits!
Brother Elder is frowning on the inside because he's sad that you've been chatting on an "apostate" forum. He's smiling on the outside because he can see all the Internet porn that you've also been viewing.
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watson
Billy, I know I've seen this brother!! LOL
