by AGuest 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • AGuest

    Father, please... forgive me...

    Dearest JW.com posters... may you all have peace!

    I wish to share something with you that I had NO idea of until just a few minutes ago. After listening to my Lord direct me to go back and read and read and read, I must say, dear ones, that I knew Robert and Janet (Jannie) Bryant from Shingle Springs, CA, personally. He was the grandson of my good friend, Laura, the 96-year-old sister who held my hand the first time I ate and drank in the kingdom hall, and who stood by me as my persecution started, standing up for me. Until the elders moved her to a 'rest home' in Placerville (next door to Shingle Springs), were she died within months. And no, she was not sick! I had asked if she could come live with me and my family (they had been granted conservatorship of her by her JW family), and they said, no, that I was not a good influence on her... or she on me. So, I had to drive 50 miles one-way once a week to visit her.

    [Please bear with me... my heart is breaking, right now...]

    When I was still in the organization and first started to tell folks that I was 'hearing', and what I was hearing, Robert came to see me. He lived just 'up the hill' from me (I live in Sacramento). Why did he come? Because he was 'hearing', too. And he had had a couple of visions, which he understood very clearly, but was afraid to tell anyone about. He had heard about me, and at the behest of his grandmother wanted to see what I was about and maybe talk to someone who could understand what was happening to him. This was in 1997.

    We shared a lot of experiences... and fears. I told Robert that I had been told by my Lord that they would eventually expel us (there were others...), and he agreed. Shortly thereafter, my 'meetings' started, and soon, so did his. There was one difference, though: while I had a total of 14 meetings with no more than 3 'elders' present, Robert only had a few. But... at times there were 12 elders at his... and they 'railroaded' him, dear ones... BIG time! He would call me, terrified, and I tried to be supportive and comforting, but eventually, he told me that he was just going to be quiet, forget what he had seen and heard and go along with the elders. The reason for this is, he said, he couldn't take the pressure: his uncle, Clinton Hedberg (YES! I NAMED him and will name him again!), a former PO of mine whose congregation met in the same hall as the congregation I attended at the time... headed applied the greatest pressure.

    I knew Robert was faltering, and I tried to offer him all of the support... and love... I could. I did not condemn him for his fear, for I understood it: those boys can be QUITE intimidating, especially if they are family, and especially if you are a meek and timid man such as Robert was.

    [Oh, God, this would have killed Laura! Robert, Jannie and their kids, were her LOVES... her ONLY family that treated her with any modicum of love and kindness. The rest thought her crazy and difficult, because she professed to be anointed, to 'hear' and 'see', and didn't just roll over for the brothers.]

    I don't know what to say... I am at a loss for my COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED for those men right now has no words. I will repent and ask for forgiveness for my hard heart later... and I WILL forgive them... but right now I cannot help it!

    I guess Robert finally took a stand; I mean, I know that even if one wishes to deny the Master and the gifts, one can only do so for so long, before one will want to die... because for US... there IS no other life. I do not know what pushed Robert to this action, and no, I offer no excuse for it other than I understand what it is like to be as we are (he and I and others), and live in denial. Had I let those men... and some here on jw.com and other places... talk ME out of what I know to be true, I cannot say that I would not have sunk to despair as well. Maybe not to the same level, but life would be pretty unbearable.

    Dear ones, they took everything from him, as they have from many others: his family, his livelihood... and his hope. Truly, what is left? Yes, I know... the family he killed. Oh, Robert!

    Merciful Father, JAH, Holy One of Israel and Creator of the heavens and earth, I beg you, through my Lord and Master, your Son and Christ, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH, that if these men are responsible for the depth of my brother's despair, that you not hold this error against such men, and that you also find it in your large heart to have mercy upon Robert and remember him and his family. Yet, let not my will, but yours take place. For the Robert I knew would want it that way.

    For any of you who don't understand, I am sorry. I am. I have no justification, for there is none, truly. I only wished to share with you what I DO know, of the man Robert Bryant... and what COULD have made him become so desperate. I leave the matter in my Father's hands.

    A [VERY sorrowful] slave of Christ,

    Shelby Johnson

  • Mulan

    I am so sorry for your personal loss, in this terrible tragedy.

    But....you hear voices, and have visions? Robert Bryant did too? Do you realize how you damage your credibility by saying things like that, and his??

    Did you see "A Beautiful Mind"? That man had the same experiences and he had schizophrenia. Have you considered............never mind.

    Marilyn (aka Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

  • picosito

    Very moving, poignant, sad, understandable. I hope you can recover from this some time. May your hatred turn into something positive for yourself. My regards.

  • Satanus

    The wt persecutes spirituality, as the catholic church hounded joan of arch. I'm sorry SJ.


  • AGuest
    But....you hear voices, and have visions? Robert Bryant did too? Do you realize how you damage your credibility by saying things like that, and his??

    Dearest Mulan... yes. Yes. Yes. Credibility with whom? You? Perhaps. Jehovah's Witnesses? Of course. Do I care? About either? No. No more than did Noah, Abraham, Moses, my Lord or my early christian brothers. Did Robert? Initially, yes. Before his action? I have no idea.

    Credibility is a 'peculiar' thing, Marilyn, in that when we worry about it with concern to certain ones we may say... or do anything... THEY wish us to... or NOT say or NOT do something they wish us to. So, it is important as to WHOM we wish to be 'credible' to, yes?

    Since the ONLY person(s) I am concerned about with regard to MY credibility are the Ones who grant me to 'see' and 'hear'... then I would say that MY credibility... is just fine. (Because HUMANS will think of you whatever they will, regardless, won't they?)

    Did you see "A Beautiful Mind"?
    Not yet, but I heard it was VERY good.

    That man had the same experiences and he had schizophrenia.
    So, schizophrenia can be a 'beautiful' thing? Well, okay, who am I to judge?

    Have you considered............
    What, that I might have schizophrenia? No, never crossed my mind. But then I'm not qualified to diagnose myself in that way and a lot of OTHER stuff crosses my mind, frequently, so... Anyway, whether I do or do not, however, I 'see' what I 'see'... and 'hear' what I 'hear'. And I am NOT afraid to say so, dear. To you... or anyone else, including a Watchtower 'elder'.

    ... never mind.
    But, then, dear one, you brought it up.


    A slave of Christ,


  • Naeblis

    First thread of yours I've opened in a while Shelby. Sorry bout your loss. I really DO think you should see a doctor, even just for a "what if" scenario. But I knwo you won't. Take care.

  • anewperson

    In addition to wiretapping some have reported that FM transmitters are used at times to harass people into exiting, sometimes assumed by those not knowing better and trusting to be demonic activity. These devices which are now extremely cheap can produce various sounds and voices from the sending device which is sometimes located several miles away. Lights are also although less often sometimes reported and people not knowing better interpret them as some manner of vision. So the person above may be as Mulan infers a mental case but it is also very possible they are not, but are the victim of cult harassment, a deprivation of her rights as a U.S. citizen to the pursuit of happiness. Mental health personnell need to be careful about rushing to judgment. Please investigate for the devices where such things are reported. Most FM ones are very tiny, some of a fibrous hair-like appearance or elongated and with plastic coating etc, often position in bedding but also in other places at times such as other than the bedroom. Some have reported that the devices are located at times in a car, near the front of a house but just outside it. Looks like "Jehovah's Kingdom" has much that does not commend it as good fruitage. When and where men have pedophile sex scandals to cover up to avoid going to prison and the like they will resort to such insanities. Bill Bowen has estimated that most halls now have such dirt and it grows with time.

  • Naeblis

    You need to visit a doctor too. Your ramblings are getting more nonsensical every day.

  • Amazing

    Hi Shelby: With what you know of the Bryant's, details of Robert's mental health, and also any of his relationships within the congregation, you need to contact the authorities in McMinnville, Oregon (Yamhill County Sheriff) as soon as possible. Information you have may help them understand this situation, and possibly, if the Bryant's were murdered (but made to look like a suicide) it could help the authorities capture the bad guys. Please, when you do contact the authorities, drop the religious jargon ... and concentrate on giving them facts, names, events, and experiences that may be of help.

    Following Bible principles, we will avoid trying to live - or demand others to live - by an extensive and rigid set of dos and don'ts that go beyond the teachings of the Bible. The Watchtower4-15-02, pg 22, pp 15

  • anewperson

    Not in the least, Naebilus of the Watchtower. In fact in California is located Watchtower Securities, a company having to do with surveillance not stock. I encourage those in California to find out more about it. Thanks for the little snide remark, Naebilus, it helped bring that point back.

  • Naeblis


    Naeblis, wholoves the watchtower.

  • AGuest

    Hey, there, Naeb... peace to you.

    So, hmmmm.... I speak the truth and you say "see a doctor". May I ask, and you tell me, why? So they can try and convince me to lie and say that what is true is NOT true simply because they don't and can't understand and explain... but would have to try to understand and explain something they can't?

    I mean, if YOU thought the world was flat, but by some means not yet known or understood by YOU, I believed it to be round, would you suggest I "see a doctor"? Hmmmm... or perhaps a priest...

    But, perhaps, then, if I were to say, "Oh, no, such things have NEVER happened to me", would that make YOU... and Marilyn... feel better. I am sure it would make some doctor feel better (for then, like you, he would not have to try to understand and explain... what he cannot). And I am sure it would most certainly make JWs and JW elders feel better.

    So, then, it seems to ME that you are suggesting that I seek 'professional' help so that I can stop speaking what is TRUE, and say instead what will make YOU... and many others... ummmm... feel better.

    Sorry, dear one, but I can't 'help' you feel better. Perhaps then it is YOU... who needs to "see a doctor".


    A slave of Christ,


  • anewperson

    Amazing is correct. Also correct full name of company is:

    Watchtower Security Systems
    Sebastopol, CA 95472 707-824-8888

    They are listed as providing burglar alarm systems among other things. What the other things are is what would be most interesting.
    They need looked at independently and hard. Anything they'd tell you over the phone would be of no use as they will have been told of the posting here. But some of you could find out more. Take Shelby more seriously, by all means. And others reporting the like.

    Naebilus, not I but "we" shall overcome. The WTS has destroyed its own credibility trying to cover up the pedophilia scandal.

  • Naeblis

    How would you know what is "true" if you were sick Shelby? The fact is there are thousands of people just like you. Sorry darling but there's nothing special about hearing things. And there's nothing special about thinking it's the "truth" Especially when everyone is telling you it's not. Makes you feel persecuted doesn't it?? Stronger in your convictions?? I offered you condolences and expressed MY desire to see you get better. Take that as it will but I won't get into these pissing matches anymore because it's exactly what drives your sickness. Buhbye.

  • anewperson

    If this person is indeed a victim then of course they would have such convictions. If they have been able to hold down a steady job and otherwise function normally then they probably are not schizophrenic. And regardless, even if that might be the case, still as Amazing says if they have information that would help the police and other authorities then it would be good for them to report it. They have now given enough information the elders mentioned will know who they are, and so going to the police could also be a form of self-protection. I recommend they do so and at once.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas


    I am genuinely sorry for the anguish and grief you are feeling
    Please accept my condolences and a hug.

    - Nathan Natas, UADNA
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America)

  • anewperson

    Shelby, a concerted effort is made to diminish what you have to say, but simultaneously some of us are urging you to report right now what you know to the real-world authorities. Let them determine the degree of worth etc of what you have said here.

  • AGuest

    Dear Naeblis... may you have peace... and may I respond (right now, it's kind of therapuetic, and since you think I need a 'doctor'...)

    How would you know what is "true" if you were sick Shelby?
    Okay, so say I go see a doctor and I am found NOT sick. What then? Will you THEN tell me to see a priest? Cause that's how they did it in the 'olden' days, the 'dark' ages, when things that ones could not explain were thought to be illness, affliction... or demonic.

    The fact is there are thousands of people just like you.
    Yep. And they ain't sick, either!

    Sorry darling but there's nothing special about hearing things.
    No, not especially special, I agree. Different, perhaps...

    And there's nothing special about thinking it's the "truth"...
    I agree. However, what I spoke to you WAS truth...

    Especially when everyone is telling you it's not.
    But you see, dear one, 'everyone' is NOT telling me it's not. In this case, only you and Marilyn.

    Makes you feel persecuted doesn't it??
    Er?! Persecuted? Because you don't AGREE? That's not persecution, Naeblis... heck, I KNOW not everyone's gonna agree...

    Stronger in your convictions??
    Uh, for the 'record', my 'convictions' can't GET any 'stronger' than they are or have been for some years now...

    I offered you condolences...
    Yes, you did.

    and expressed MY desire to see you get better.
    And that's ASSUMING I NEED to. You see? YOU are making an ASSUMPTION, which I addressed. Then YOU get offended... and now I am the bad guy. I spoke truth, and YOU called me sick! (Uh, please note, I know you MEANT 'crazy' - but I didn't take offense at that, either - LOL! I just addressed your assumption, is all.)

    Take that as it will but I won't get into these pissing matches anymore because it's exactly what drives your sickness.
    Hmmm... from 'condolence'... to insult... to insolence. But why? Because I... don't agree... with you? Well, dear Naeb, the FACT is, "
    "there are thousands of people just like you", too!

    Sigh! Later, 'gator!

    And peace.

    A slave of Christ,


  • Naeblis

    You really are amusing sometimes. :) I wasn't being insolent. I thought that was quite polite actually. Anyways.. in a while crocodile.

  • thewiz

    So if this guy was hearing voices don't you think it was your reasponsibilty to get him some help?

    My brother heard voices for a time too, we got him help and kept him from being alone with his son, for fear that he would take him and himself out. It's controlled by medication!!! Guess you didn't take that step did you?

    Sounds like someone should step in in your behalf and give you some help.

    My sister had a break down years ago too. We helped here too. She's still with us today too.

    All willing to blame a scape goat aren't you?

Related Topics