So an old friend from the hall called me today....

by shakyground 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • shakyground
    shakyground

    He said he wanted to know how I was doing and what was going on with me. I knew that it was only a matter of time before he started asking about me not being to the hall in like 3 months and him trying to bring me back into the fold. And in about less than a minute he started telling me about how everyone at the hall misses me and asks about me. He knows that I have a "worldly girlfriend" and asked me if she had anything to do with me not attending meetings.

    I told him that my faith is not what it used to be, he said it was because I didn't have Jehovahs spirit and of course my faith would be lacking. At this point I was only mildly annoyed, what got me extremely annoyed is when he said "Not to guilt trip you or anything, but how do you think your father would feel about what your doing?" Then he says, "it's gonna be hard telling your dad in the new system you didn't make it when he asks about you." And he said "I know from personal experience that when you leave Jehovah and go out in to the world and do your own thing it always comes back to bite you." I made up an excuse to get off the phone after that. I mean why can't you just call and see how I'm doing without going into a spiel. I mean really dude, you say not to guilt trip me then say some shit like that afterwards??? That's exactly what you were doing, guilt tripping me!!! How would you guys have responded? Isn't that a bit insensitive to say how would my dad feel?

  • designs
    designs

    shaky-

    Isn't it nice to have the 'you're toast' conversation with someone you use to know and be friends with. One brother I've known for like 40 years told me I would be 'forgotten' for all eternity. Lovely, I can recite all of my relatives going back to the 1600s. Forgotten sssshh.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    YES.....that is insensitive and manipulative !!! Exactly what they are taught to do I am afraid . I learned very early on after leaving ,the term "emotional Blackmail ", it is used widely and often by Jehovah's Witnesses .

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    telling me about how everyone at the hall misses me

    One of the best responses to this is "Oh really?!?!?!?! That really surprises me because I haven't gotten a single phone call or visit" (works as long as nobody has contacted you. Also puts them on the spot because they have dropped the ball)

    The guilt trip thing is tougher to deal with unless you really want to out yourself. I guess a pretty good comeback would be "Wow, that's pretty presumptious of you to put yourself in the new system!"

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Members of high-control groups are often judgemental, self-righteous a$$holes.

    Can you see why I really don't miss my old friends at the Kingdom Hall?

  • glueman
    glueman

    Shaky, I agree with your statement that old "friends" should just call to see how you are doing and not have an agenda. That's what true friends would do.

    Sorry you had to go through that. No one should be treated so unkind.

  • shakyground
    shakyground

    Yea Lost lol those would have been good responses. I got like one text from an elder and that's it. The funny thing is I'm on the school and was about to be an unbaptised publisher. I'm not even a full 100% witness. But All my friends are witnesses except my girlfriend. I cut so many ppl off when I became serious about being a witness. i have witnesses at my job that I have been avoiding. The other day I seen one at the snack machine and turned around and went the other way. In mid stride I'm thinking to myself what the hell am I doing? i'm a grown ass man lol.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I hear ya lost. When I heard that, I would ask if my name was removed from the congregation list because I haven't received even a hello telephonically.

    Shakey, what was the personal experiance that bit your friend in the ass?

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Here are some things I found were good responces to inquiring " friends".......

    We miss you : Wow ,thanks ....but really NO one has called ,so excuse me if I find it hard to believe .

    What is going on with you ,why are you missing the meetings : I have found it better for my emotional /mental well-being that I take a break from the KH .

    Is there something keeping you from the Hall ? Is it work /worldly friends /blah blah blah : Sorry, but I can not even imagine discussing MY personal life with you .

    Are you celebrating holidays ?: Again ,my personal life is none of your business and I can not even imagine discussing it with you .

    We love you : Smile and nod ....

    You don't want to disappoint your dead loved one do you ? : I have never been a disappointment to my Mother/Father . They really trusted that I knew what was best for myself .

  • shakyground
    shakyground

    Hey wha, he used to go out and party alot and got involved with a few women. And made out with a few or something like that. He said he got some oral one time and they publicy reproved him.

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