I don't know whether to out-right laugh at the preposterousness of the WT, or cry, or scream in anger. Fracken' unbelievable. There's no concern WHATSOEVER for the victim. No help offered. Only "put YOUR feelings aside, you horrible wife and maybe he'll hold off on smackin' ya." All written up as another thinly-veiled sales pitch of how to bring people into the truth, by utterly shoving down who you are as a person. I can almost picture the scene at the KH: "Hey LOOK! Here's Brother Wife-Beater! Isn't it amazing? His wife took all those hits on the chin and 17 years later, here he is." [backslaps and high fives]........[awkward silence...looks over at the wife]....."Gee, why the long face, Sister Feelin' Sorry for Yourself? PRAISE JAH!"
AnneB -
Emotions aside, what they're saying is don't push someone past his or her limits. Makes sense and there's nothing wrong with it.....They're using an inflammatory example, but the point would be the same no matter what example they used: Don't push people past their limits. They're not saying it's right to hit, they're saying if you don't learn to respect someone's limits bad things can happen.....The point is how to dodge bullets, not how to judge others.
I don't know where to start as I'm simply flabbergasted. Are you some sort of apologist for spousal abuse? Respect and honor is a two-way street. Yes, everyone has their limits. I've got my limits too, but you know what? If someone pushes my limits, that does not give me the right to haul off and physically assault someone (unless they've assaulted me as part of the "limit pushing", and I must fight back in self-defense). Especially coming from your spouse who committed to "love, honor and cherish" - not "love, honor and beat up, should she be askin' for it."
Yeah, that'd play out in court -- Judge: "Sir, why did you pop your wife in the nose?" Husband: "Well, I dunno. I was feeling off that night and she sorta asked for it." Judge: "Oh, well why didn't you say so? Case dismissed!" NOT.
Also, this WT scenario (I'm surprised the unbelieving mate's name wasn't ANDRE) depicted the hubby as a hothead and to me, someone with anger management issues. What if hubby's "limits" changed from day to day? How is SHE to know where those limits are? Thus, the walking on eggshells. The abuse could come from out of no-where....how is that on HER?
To flip the coin - and as with other's experience on this board - what about being hit by your "Christian"/JW husband? Reading this thread brought everything back for me. The abuse. The pushing and shoving. How many times my JW husband told me, "Go ahead and cry, no one will hear you." (I carried that particular phrase around with me for years. It affected me so deeply that I wouldn't cry at anything as I thought no one would hear.....or even care...so better to be just dead inside.) Other times - "The police can't do anything - I'm hitting you with the flat of my hand, not a closed fist." Grabbing a hold of me in a fight & bear-hugging me so hard I thought my sternum would snap. The quiet tense argument at one assembly during a lunch break, him grabbing me by the arm and squeezing so hard, it left bruises. The quiet flash of "take that" in his eyes, as he knew the bruise would show in front of everyone (I was wearing a dress with shorter sleeves and didn't have a sweater or jacket). My JW father did nothing. For years after, I had major trust and intimacy issues. I just put my "Self" into a little ball and hid that away, "feeling sorry for myself" and drowning my sorrows in as much alcohol as I could, I felt so worthless. I wasn't a good little JW wife to him like he wanted me to be and my JW husband showed me just how bad I was in his own special way. I was one of those "not so noble" individuals who purposefully commited a wrongdoing, just so I could be DF'd...just so I could escape. Escape from him and the abuse and the cult. It took me a long time to view "me" as something that was worth a damn. A very long time.
Sorry for the longer post and for going off on a tangent. Thanks for listening.
Back to the article at hand, Abuse is abuse is abuse. There are NO excuses. In yet more horrible ways, the WT proves themselves to be despicable in their suppression of a victim's rights. There is no support or solace offered, only how much more the victim should just shut up. Go ahead, keep trying to sweep stuff like this under the rug, WT. The REAL TRUTH is out there and thank goodness for the internet...the real truth will be found.
Peace,
~ RTA
