Thanks so much you guys for everything. Xena, your post was really sweet - makes me look at doc a little differently! Sometimes you just forget how lucky you are, you know? To leave the dubs and make it out together is a blessing (since I don't believe in god I don't necessarily know from who!) and to have the support of everybody is wonderful. The dubs don't know what they're missing...
kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
JoinedPosts by kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
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25
Saying "hi" leads to love and leaving your wife...
by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! ini've been struggling so much with some old programming that i truly feel is from the witnesses, and my father in particular.
he always told me men and women couldn't be friends -- unless they were married or related -- because they'd fall in love with each other and leave their mates.
that's why you could only be friends with your own gender and were never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even in a car.
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Saying "hi" leads to love and leaving your wife...
by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! ini've been struggling so much with some old programming that i truly feel is from the witnesses, and my father in particular.
he always told me men and women couldn't be friends -- unless they were married or related -- because they'd fall in love with each other and leave their mates.
that's why you could only be friends with your own gender and were never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even in a car.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
Princess, Little Toe - you're right, having a few male friends could be a good idea. LT, you want to be my first? :-P
Love you guys, thanks for all your support - it's great to know you're out there.
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Saying "hi" leads to love and leaving your wife...
by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! ini've been struggling so much with some old programming that i truly feel is from the witnesses, and my father in particular.
he always told me men and women couldn't be friends -- unless they were married or related -- because they'd fall in love with each other and leave their mates.
that's why you could only be friends with your own gender and were never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even in a car.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
I think I may have given the wrong impression: it's not so much that I'm jealous of anyone, I just feel this anxiety that has nothing to do with reality, you know? It's like Pavlov's dogs: pretty soon they salivated at the sound of the bell, despite the stimuli of food no longer being present. There's just this gut thing that yells "danger" at me, despite there being no danger present. I don't want anyone to think my honey gives me any reason to be anxious -- he doesn't -- or that I don't love and respect his female friends. What I was more trying to say was that the old programming is so strong, that years of having this crap embedded in your mind leaves landmines that explode without warning.
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Saying "hi" leads to love and leaving your wife...
by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! ini've been struggling so much with some old programming that i truly feel is from the witnesses, and my father in particular.
he always told me men and women couldn't be friends -- unless they were married or related -- because they'd fall in love with each other and leave their mates.
that's why you could only be friends with your own gender and were never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even in a car.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
Under - no, he never hides anything from me. It's not even really about him, you know? B/c he's not the one with the problem or the hang-ups. It's just the old garbage that I haven't been able to clear out from my mind, crap that's left in there from being a dub. I actually think his friends are great for him, male or female -- it's like you said, just something you have to suck up and get through.
Hey LostReality, thanks for the hugs! :-) (((LR)))
P.S. - I thought after I posted this that it might seem that I'm telling his friends who are girls that I'm upset with them somehow, and that is so NOT the case -- I think it's great that so many wonderful people care -- so please ignore my petty 3 a.m. rantings.
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Saying "hi" leads to love and leaving your wife...
by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! ini've been struggling so much with some old programming that i truly feel is from the witnesses, and my father in particular.
he always told me men and women couldn't be friends -- unless they were married or related -- because they'd fall in love with each other and leave their mates.
that's why you could only be friends with your own gender and were never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even in a car.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
I've been struggling so much with some old programming that I truly feel is from the Witnesses, and my father in particular. He always told me men and women couldn't be friends -- unless they were married or related -- because they'd fall in love with each other and leave their mates. That's why you could only be friends with your own gender and were never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even in a car.
How do we ever get rid of this garbage that just pervades our minds? I trust my husband, I know he would never leave me and that he loves me lots. When I think about him chatting with a woman -- when I'm thinking rationally -- I know I am in absolutely no danger of losing him. But when I'm emotional I feel like he's going to run a million miles away and leave me frightened, alone, and desperately missing him. The last thing that's healthy in a marriage is a jealous, clingy, overly emotional mate, and so I end up afraid that if he doesn't leave to be with someone he says "hi" to and immediatley subsequently decides to marry, he'll leave me b/c I'm too insecure. Sometimes it feels like damned if you do, damned if you don't, you know?
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THIS IS ALL COMPLETELY NORMAL???
by Corvin inremember the kingdom hall bathroom spankings for us kids that did not sit quietly for the meeting?
the threats, the manipulation, the head games, the forced meeting attendance, forced field service activity, forced family wt publication study, the forbidden association with non-jw?s, the berating and chastising for having a thought or idea of your own, the dresser drawer searches looking for music or magazines you were not suppose to have .
you know, the typical jw upbringing .
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
You know, I never really thought of it as being abnormal until now. I've always thought the way I was raised (the police coming to our house, constant screaming/throwing things/etc.) was abnormal, but I never really connected that the other things that dubs do espouse are abnormal (forced attendance at mtgs, getting your mom's nails dug into your skin till you bleed cause you're fighting with your sister during a meeting, spankings preceeded by the reading of scriptures about how a spanking will not hurt a child, but may even save his life). You're right, it is really crazy.
I know I will never spank my own child.
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WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR?
by Terry ini see everything falling apart.
i have to suck it in; strike the right pose and choose the best angle to keep from grossing myself out.. what do you see?.
i'm 58 years old; what do i expect to see?.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
I'm 26 and have been through an eating disorder, serious mental illness & suicide attempt, incredibly controlling and manipulative parents who now shun me, losing everyone I thought I cared about and who I thought cared about me...and now my life is finally beginning. Because for all of those things, my life is beautiful and worthwhile. I have the best husband in the world (love ya doc!) and the most amazing friends. I'm back in school and have two great jobs. Life is crazy and hectic--and I couldn't ask for it to be any more perfect. That's what I see when I look in the mirror: someone fulfilled and joyful.
As to my body, for the longest time I hated it, fought with it, was sick every time I looked at it. And I'll never be beautiful in the classic sense of the word; I'll certainly never be skinny. But the love and attention doc shows me makes me feel beautiful, inside and out.
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This is sooooo scary, is it for real???
by ohiocowboy ini hope that this is not real.
it is too scary to think about... .
http://www.drudgereport.com/abct.htm.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
I spent two weeks in Israel in August and was within about 10 feet of a suicide bomber at one point. The fear is toxic over there, literally palpable. It's exhausting. The only way anyone copes is to either go fanatical and be hateful or to decide to live their lives and forget about it. I chose not to worry -- like somebody else said, we all die eventually, and IMHO to die suddenly as a victim of a suicide bomber...well, it might beat a long, slow death by AIDs or cancer.
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ABC News: Scientists Find Hobbit-Sized People Remains
by Gerard inhttp://abcnews.go.com/technology/story?id=198867&page=1
abc news.
by amanda onion.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
And we all thought Lord of the Rings was fiction! Foolish, foolish people... pretty soon they'll prove the Bible is true, too!
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Nephew tries to witness to me !
by FreeWilly inwell my nephew says he wants to get baptised so i ask him why?
he says it's something he's always wanted to do and he intends on pioneering and eventually bethel.
i tell him that i hope him getting baptised doesn't mean he will no longer visit me.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
Just keep hoping... I once told my sister-in-law, after she had taken a long time explaining to me why her baptism as a teenager was really not valid, etc., that I understood her point of view but we still wouldn't be able to talk to her if she got d-f'd. But somehow along the line we changed, and now my sister-in-law and her husband and daughter and my husband and I are all very close. I'm sure she never imagined in a million years that we would leave the borg, but thankfully we did. Maybe the same will happen with your nephew, even if it takes a few years.