Posts by breal

24

Whats the nicest thing anyone has said/done to you?

by SpiceItUp in

jw
friends

.

in the spirit of minimus i thought i'd put a positive spin on things.

they say when you surrond yourself with the positive its easier to be positive and vice versa for negativity (no offense to min as i also fully believe that you have to deal with negativity too).... that being said....whats the nicest thing, compliment, gift etc that anyone has ever said or done to/for you?.

breal

It's hard to choose the nicest thing anyone has ever said or done to me.... lots of things come to mind.

One of the sweetest things someone has done for me is my old boss and adopted dad agreed to walk me down the isle at my wedding.

When my husband and I went to visit a really good friend of mine was battling cancer in the hospital she looked at my husband before we left and said "You take really good care of my girl. She is the daughter I always wanted." She passed away shortly there after but it meant a lot to know that my feelings for her were in line with how she felt for me.

The other nicest thing is my realtor who I have only known a short time but is a kindred spirit if he sold me a house with a pink bathroom he would come and paint it (I am not a fan of pink). Needless to say he was true to his word...painted the bathroom and kept coming back for many days to help with the rest of the renos required to make our place livable.

Cheers,

BReal

98

Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

by Big Tex in

first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

breal

Memories are a weird and wonderful thing. So is the brain and I believe that doctors etc tend to dismiss things they cannot explain... I have had strange memories since my teen years and it used to upset me when people tried to dismiss them...but now I have decided that perhaps they are just unable to deal with the memories or issues. Some of my memories are all mixed up and jumbled as far as dates and times and people but I know they are real.

A friend of mine had recovered memories similar to yours but more to the line of physical abuse...for years his mother denied it but recently his father passed away and in going through his fathers belongings he found documentation and pictures that proved his memories that others had denied simply because he "recovered" them. So you are not alone.

I am sorry that your journey in this is a painful one but hopefully in the end it will also bring you a means to heal.

Cheers,

BReal

25

first timer...feelin like crap

by Boolean in

jw
friends

hey everyone....this this my first time on one of these forums... been out for short while, but i miss my family and the friends i grew up with.. feeling a little shitty.

how did u cope with suddenly being cut off from the people that you love and depend on?.

by the way, if your wondering about my nik, look it up, thats how my mind is right now.

breal

Hi Boolean,

Sorry you are having a rough time of it...but like most things this too shall pass or at least change! I was DF's many years ago and like others mentioned it involves a ton of emotions and to me phases... anger, loneliness, regret, joy, excitement, happiness, contentment...

Enjoy this new found freedom and time to really discover yourself. Go easy on yourself and try to take it in baby steps. I would spend the time you have doing things you really enjoy. Hopefully you have some non JW friends, coworkers etc that you can be around if not this is a great place to come to.

Cheers,

BReal

19

Do Holidays Such as Father's Day Upset You?

by minimus in

jw
friends

especially if you are shunned?

breal

As I posted on another thread by someone else I never realized it before yesterday but while searching for Fathers Day cards for my father in law...there were so many lovely cards with great sentiments that I wanted to buy to send my step dad who is still a JW. I thought of doing it and modifying the card so it did not say Happy Fathers Day.

7

Family stuck in "the truth"

by YellowLab in

jw
friends

i often find it difficult to not be able to share some of life's important moments with other family members still stuck in "the truth".

i'm talking about the things that other people take for granted in this world.

after fading away 8 years ago, i still struggle with having to turn off my feelings around my family, or keep quiet about certain things they might deem as "worldly".

breal

I find it sad that even the most precious milestones in life cannot be shared ... weddings, babies, graduations...

Even just the day to day stuff that normal families do together like sitting down to a meal.

51

I talked to my daughter today

by ESTEE in

jw
friends

as many of you may be aware, i am disfellowshipped and live in the same city as my daughter...we work a block away from each other in downtown vancouver.

occasionally, i drop flowers off at the reception desk for her, with my home card, my business card, etc.

well, today was the day when i decided to take it a step further.

breal

Estee,

Your daughter is very fortunate that you were willing to risk her rejection in public no less to try to show your love for her and reach out to her. I am sure she knows how much you love her if nothing else this was a good reminder. However this probably was not an easy interaction for her either because she most likely loves you as well but is trying her best in her own way to live up to the standards set by the JW's. It's a "mom thing" to worry about kids even from a far but perhaps she was simply having an off day so try not to worry too much that she is not doing well. (easier said than done for a mom) When family that are JW's ask you to respect there boundaries about not contacting them it is a very hard thing to do (I know this) - but by not doing it they feel you are not allowing them to live life the way they need to in order to survive in the organization. Besides it could end up causing a lot of problems for her if another JW saw her with you. However I do think the idea of leaving flowers for her at work every so often is a lovely one...this way if she ever needs/wants to reach out to you she will know you have not closed the door. Wishing for you to one day have the type of relationship with your daughter that you desire and deserve.

BReal

11

Fathers Day

by Xena in

jw
friends

ok ya'll i am fixing to head out to buy bubbles' dad a fathers day gift....and i haven't a clue what to get him.

she dropped it in my lap and went off to the lake with a friend..soo any suggestions??????????

what are you getting the dad's in your life?.

breal

We got my Father in Law a cedar hanging basket filled with flowers (he loves to garden), last year it was new tools for his BBQ - but pretty much anything from the hardware store or Lee Valley.

Yep today I was looking at the cards and so many of them I would have loved to have sent to my step dad...but with him being a JW still not very appropriate unless I modify the card somehow so he knows it's not a "Fathers Day card".

Oh and Fathers Day is Sunday June 15th.

27

Please read what someone posted on Suicide, and tell me what you think

by LyinEyes in

proplog2.. wrote this on another thread, and i would like to hear from others who may not have had a suicide in their own families to reply as well.

do you think that the jw religion has at least some blame or bloodguilt over some of the jw suicides?

i personally know they do, not all cases i am sure, but i know a large amount of them are cult related jw.......... remember we are not talking about just another religion, but a mind controlled cult known as jw's.

breal

Shortly before changing my lifestyle which eventually led to me being DF’d I tried to commit suicide. I remember the shrink at the hospital asking me if I felt bad for trying to kill myself, but I said “Nope I feel bad for not succeeding”… My whole mentality at that time was greatly affected by never feeling good enough as a witness or in our hall…plus family stuff.

Now the family stuff is still there (however exacerbated by being DF’d) but the witness thing is gone and all I can say now is life is great and thankfully I failed in my attempt….so yes I believe the JW organization influences people into a negative frame of mind and can contribute to someone trying to commit suicide.

36

Fashion Fluff....Questions for the Ladies....

by teenyuck in

jw
friends

since it is friday and i am in a fluffy mood..... fingernails....long/short; painted, bare?

french manicure or nothing?

i had my nails *done* a few months ago and there was a man there getting a full set of acrylic nails.

breal

fingernails short to medium as I cut em all the time. bare - but I paint my toenails a burgandy/mocha color.

hate pantyhose - wear them only if absolutely necessary with heels for some outfits...

12

Just wondering...

by zeena1998 in

mornin' all!.

k...i've got a nosy question here.

for those of you out there who were never jw's, what brings you here?

breal

The organization was not a healthy place for me. Simple as that. I found wonderful, supportive, positive, loving people who accepted me for me. I realized that I did not need to be a witness to be a good person.