first timer...feelin like crap

by Boolean 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Boolean
    Boolean

    Hey everyone....this this my first time on one of these forums... been out for short while, but I miss my family and the friends I grew up with.. Feeling a little shitty. How did u cope with suddenly being cut off from the people that you love and depend on?

    By the way, if your wondering about my nik, look it up, thats how my mind is right now

    Cheers

  • blondie
    blondie

    Stuck in an infinity loop, boolean?

    Just guessing.

    Were you DF'd or did you DA or are you inactive?

    I'm inactive but my family treats me like I'm DF'd.

    It's hard when your whole life has been centered socially around your JW family and friends.

    I've been make new friends and making closer contacts with non-JW family members. Going back to school brings in new contacts too, as well as volunteering.

    If you grew up as a JW like I did, it is hard at first because your social skills are not developed. You thought you had automatic friends at the KH. I think you are finding out how shallow those friendships are and how conditional the love is.

    Keep coming here. Some of us are where you're at, some have progressed a little more, and some even a lot more, and have good suggestions and support.

    Welcome, boolean.

    Blondie

  • Aztec
    Aztec

    Hi Boolean! It takes a while to get adjusted to being a nonjw, especially if you were raised one. Just stick around here and soak up the weird experiences and you'll feel right at home in no time.

    ~Aztec

  • teejay
    teejay
    ... been out for short while, but I miss my family and the friends I grew up with.. Feeling a little shitty. How did u cope with suddenly being cut off from the people that you love and depend on?

    Wassup, Boolean?!!

    How did it feel when I got df'd? Well, I guess you could say that it felt ... well... a little shitty. I was hurt, disappointed (in myself and the rest of the JWs, too), angry... you name it, I felt it. Took a while to work through each of the emotions but I made it and YOU WILL TOO. Just give it some time and love yourself. You're worthy of it. And allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. You'll be fine.

    You've found a wonderful resource for recovery. Here you can rant, question, share. Here your opinions matter. We care about you. We get a little crazy sometimes, and sometimes the fur flies (if you know what I mean) but don't let that bother you. We mean each other no harm. So pull up a chair, post when you're good and ready. Or not.

    And WELCOME to the funny farm, Boolean!

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    WELCOME! You will find much love here, as well as vital information.

    Do feel free to voice your concerns. There will be a lot of support in return.

    Rosemarie

  • Boolean
    Boolean

    Thanx for the advice guys....The story of mine is pretty much the same as anyone else that has left the cong. In my case it was due to absolutely being indiffrent and complacent towards the whole "truth" thing. You see for my parents and other people that werent born into it, the"truth" was this shiny new toy that made them really happy, and it still does today.

    But for me it wasnt like that, my main concern was to keep everybody happy. There were times that I did feel great about being a JW...honest. But soon I just I didnt feel anything for it. The rules kept on getting more rigid and unrealistic as the years rolled on...dont you agree?

    I remember a month before I was disfellowshipped, I had this "light bulb" moment. I was standing infront outside the Kingdon Hall, after the meeting, by myself. And I looked up at the brightly lit sign "Kingdom Hall Of Jehovahs Witnesses", and I then it occurred to me. What the hell am I doing here !!!!????!!!!!!

    So the next week I went to an elder, told him some bullshit of me smoking and sleeping around. Told them I didnt care anymore, and hey presto Im DF. But I do regret lying about what I said I did, I should have just DA myself. But these things are never carefully planned, I wish.

    Love Boolean

  • Granny Linda
  • gumby
    gumby
    But I do regret lying about what I said I did, I should have just DA myself. But these things are never carefully planned, I wish.

    I wouldn't give a rats ass about lying to this Organisation. Would you lie to Hitler? Stalin? Heck yeah you would....because they were murderers. So is this Organisation as the facts prove. I do not feel this way to the individuals within as they are doing what they feel is right in gods eyes.....it's the Organisation and what it stands for.

    You are a lucky person who can see through them on your own. I had to be convinced through much study and support from others.

    Glad you are here and look forward to hearing more from you.

    Gumby

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    Welcome boolean.

    It takes time to adjust. Hopefully, there are friends you can reach out to, maybe people at work or perhaps people whom you knew before you became a jw (I'm not sure if you were raised in it or not).

    This board helps too. Sometimes, there are gatherings coordinated by the folks here and they are nice way to gain support too.

  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    A little Pascal boolean action:

    think_independently := true;
    in_the_troof := not think_independently;

    while not in_the_troof do
    get_shunned_by_JWs;

    We feel your pain. It does get easier with time, though. Making friends outside of the org helps. Discussing your experiences (here or with other ex-JW friends) will help.

    It will get better! My wife and I have only been out for about 9 months now. It was difficult at the start, especially for her, but it is getting easier every day.

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