Heh, wish I could post my pic on this site but even though I haven't been to a meeting in almost 2 years I'm still going to be in my brothers witness wedding and I wouldn't want to screw that up.
Descender
JoinedPosts by Descender
-
93
Post your ugly mug
by SC_Guy inok, this is kind of a silly thread... but... since i haven't seen any really recent "post your photo" threads, i'll start one.
you know how it goes... post a recent picture of yourself - don't be fooled by the topic title, lol... it doesn't have to be ugly.
ok, me first... ugly mugshots are easy for me to take being that i am just utterly hideous.
-
-
-
20
Depressed
by Descender inhi, i'm wondering what the best way to get over depression is.
i've been in a black hole for 3 months now and every damn day is a battle just to get out of bed.
i've been faded for awhile now and so i lost most all the jw friends that i had in that transition.
-
-
Descender
Well, thanks for the advice. It's strange that I haven't even thought of going to the doctor for depression. It just always seemed like something that would never happen to me. I went to that site Shamus and took three different online tests, one from the mayo clinic. According to those tests, I'm clinically depressed, so I will try to make an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow. Maybe I can get a definitive answer there.
Wierd thing is, my wife still calls me a tortures me everyday. She just got out of class and called me about 10 minutes ago and told me about her day and how she was going out with a university football player tomorrow night and told me how great this guy is that she met on a trip last week for the 15th time. I think she's trying to kill me. I know, I know, if you're a doormat, you'll get walked on. And that's what I am. I'm an idiot I guess.
-
20
Depressed
by Descender inhi, i'm wondering what the best way to get over depression is.
i've been in a black hole for 3 months now and every damn day is a battle just to get out of bed.
i've been faded for awhile now and so i lost most all the jw friends that i had in that transition.
-
-
Descender
Hi, I'm wondering what the best way to get over depression is. I've been in a black hole for 3 months now and every damn day is a battle just to get out of bed. I've been faded for awhile now and so I lost most all the JW friends that I had in that transition. And I've kind of been a recluse for a few years now, so I don't have a really good idea on how to make new friends that aren't JWs because it's hard to talk about anything or take an interest in them when the only thing that has been eating at my brain for a few months now is my wife. Her seperating from me has been pretty hard to take because I didn't expect it at all and just the other day she told me that she'd had sex with another guy and he was better than me. That just added another knife to my heart at the moment and I took off work and just cried most of the day.
My mom, who is still a witness has been coming over, bible in hand, trying to convert me back and pray over me, and although I know she's trying to help, it doesn't because I just end up getting into a discussion with her about how I don't believe it anymore and it usually ends on a bad note. I do have a friend or two that were JW's at one time as well, but I just can't seem to have much fun with them because of the stuff that keeps running through my mind. I want to get over this. I hate the feeling of sitting at home alone, knowing my wife is out with other guys when just 4 months ago she was happy being with me. How do I get out of this muck that I'm sunk in? Three months is enough hell, I don't want four.
-
42
Relationship questions (mildly long read)
by Descender inhi folks, its been awhile since i last posted here.
and im coming here now to see if i can find a few that have been in similar situations as me and to see what they did or didnt do and how they would handle it if they could do it again.
the last 2 months have been hell.
-
-
Descender
Thanks for the input. I can see that I've been a doormat, so I'm going to take another approach. Maybe things will work out or maybe they won't. But somehow I've got to get through this pain. She just doesn't care or appreciate anything I've been doing for her as of late, which hurts as well. So maybe I should just ignore her, not call her, not take her calls, and not go out of my way for her all the time. I don't think she understands that she could lose me, and I think if there is something she cares about, it's that ..... losing me.
I once heard that most witness girls are a lot prettier than most worldy girls. I don't know if that is true, but, physically speaking, my wife is beautiful. She puts most models to shame. She's the kind of girl that gets asked out at least a few times a day, every day. She's been asked out on dates by NBA hall of famers and celebrities. When she walks into a store, heads turn and jaws drop. Everytime she goes to get something to eat, the servers tells her she's hot and when she walks into a gas station, the attendant asks her number. And she loves every second of it, but she can't see that it's true, so she has to have more.
She's always had low self confidence because she was never complimented for anything while she was growing up. I've always told her that she's beautiful, but for some reason she's never believed me. But she loves the attention from others, it's her fuel. She doesn't have time to give of herself to anyone else because she's to busy eating all the attention that everyone is willing to give her because everyone and their dog wants to get in her pants.
She does know that I'm the person that she can rely on. She knows that if she was in dire straights, that I would be the only one out of her plethera of friends that would come to her aid because her other friends aren't real. She knows that she can rely on me to help her with money, to provide for her, and to give her a good life. And I suppose that's one of the problems. She knows I'm there and she thinks that I'll always be there. I asked her several times if she wanted a divorce and every time she has broken down into tears and said that she doesn't want to lose me.
I agree that I've been to soft and given into her every whim, even though she has treated me like dirt as of late. I need to take a hard line approach and set down some ground rules and look out for myself more, because I've only been thinking of pleasing her over the past few months, and that hasn't been succesfull at all. Since she doesn't care or appreciate anything I've been doing, maybe she'll start to worry when I'm not doing anything.
-
42
Relationship questions (mildly long read)
by Descender inhi folks, its been awhile since i last posted here.
and im coming here now to see if i can find a few that have been in similar situations as me and to see what they did or didnt do and how they would handle it if they could do it again.
the last 2 months have been hell.
-
-
Descender
Hi folks, it’s been awhile since I last posted here. And I’m coming here now to see if I can find a few that have been in similar situations as me and to see what they did or didn’t do and how they would handle it if they could do it again.
The last 2 months have been hell. My wife of almost 5 years has made a few decisions, I’m 28 and she’s 23 years old. I know that age is a factor here, because we married young. But I have always loved her with all my heart and we have always been very close, we had great conversations, always felt comfortable around each other, and she always seemed proud to be my wife. But she started acting strange and distant when she came back from a trip to Las Vegas a few months back. She’d gone out there with her family and had done a bit of partying and had a long talk with her sister-in-law in which she had come to a few harsh conclusions.
She came back and was very distant. I kept on trying to get to the bottom of the problem and maybe I pushed too hard to find the answer. I was always pestering her to tell me what was wrong everytime I was around her. Finally she came out and said that I wasn’t the man that she wanted me to be and that she didn’t love me anymore and she had a lot of built up resentment because I had taken her for granted and hadn’t taken the time to make her feel special. She told me that she’d been holding in these feelings of resentment for 5 years, and she had just recently realized all of this. Then she took off her wedding ring.
That was a huge bomb dropped on my head. I thought we had a great relationship, but I guess we didn’t. I asked her to give me 3 months to make some changes, to which she agreed. Since the day she told me, our relationship has been a rollercoaster ride. The first half of February was simply horrible. I didn’t know how to handle the situation at all and my wife would tell me a new batch of things that were wrong with me every other night. I would either push to hard or not push hard enough, making her mad by jumping to conclusions and end up feeling stupid and depressed or keeping things inside and end up feeling depressed.
I decided that we needed to see a counselor because I really didn’t know how to fix our problems. My wife begrudgingly agreed to go with me. The week we started going to the counselor, my wife told me that we weren’t making progress living together and she wanted to move out. She told me that it would be a good idea because we could make a new start and maybe she could lose her resentment, we could date and she would move back in in 6 months or so. I didn’t like the idea that much, but she was persistent and I ended up helping her move out within the week.
While she was still living with me, she did a few things differently, not bad per se, but different. She started by getting a navel piercing, the next week she got a tattoo on her inner thigh, and the next week she got a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club. All the while, she’s still a grad student getting her degree in secondary education.
She had been talking to five different guys on the internet during this time when we were having problems and all of these guys decided that they had fallen in love with her because she would talk to them until 3am in the morning and she would sometimes send them pics and videos of her. She didn’t know that I knew about all of this. When she moved out, she didn’t have Internet or phone connection for a week, so she spent a lot of time with me, which I enjoyed.
Then the next week came and she started to be more distant again because she could talk to guys on the Internet again. She’d still call some and we’d see each other a few times a week, but she shy’ed away from my touch and wouldn’t let me kiss her. She told me she didn’t want to hold my hand or have me put my arm around her, and for the next week she told me that she didn’t think that we should really see each other at all. This got the assumptive wheels in my head turning and I write her a lot of e-mails so I logged into her e-mail account to see if she had checked the mail I’d sent her and there it was. There was a round trip ticket for one of these guys that she talked to on the Internet to come see her that day and spend a week here.
I called her and told her that I’d checked her e-mail, which I know was wrong, but I’d seen the tickets and now I knew why she didn’t want to see me for a week. She told me that he hadn’t been able to board the plane because his ID was expired and that he hadn’t been able to make it. She was mad and it didn’t end on a good note. So I apologized for over-reacting and got her a card and flowers. She called me over the next few days, but we didn’t see each other. And then on Saturday, she called and told me that she really missed me and that she would like it if I came up to her work that evening and saw her. So I called a friend and asked if he’d like to go with me and we both went to the titty bar. She was friendlier to me than she had been in months and always had a big smile on her face everytime she saw me. That made me happy, and I went out to see I band at a club with a few friends later that night. After I got done there, it was about 1:30 am and I knew that she should be close to getting off work, so I thought I’d stop by her apartment.
When I got there, I didn’t see her car, but I did see that all the lights in her apartment were on. So I walked up and when I got to her door, it swung open and there stood the guy that she’d gotten the round trip tickets for. My brain snapped, I had a few options. One option was to spring through the doorway and break his nose with a swift hit, but I took another option. I just walked by and pretended I wasn’t related to the situation at all. I got in my car and drove to her workplace, walked in and asked her to go eat with me. She said ok, but she knew something was wrong by the look on my face. I didn’t even have to say anything. She started crying and said that she was going to tell me after he was gone, but she didn’t want to tell me while he was here because she didn’t want any trouble. She said that him being here had let her see that she still loved me and that she’d gotten him a one way ticket home for the next morning because she said he was expecting something he wasn’t going to get.
The next morning she came over to the house after she dropped him off and told me that she loved me and ended up spending the whole day with me. The next day she was distant again. And on Tuesday she told me that she didn’t want to hurt me or lead me on, but that she did love me and that she wanted to grow old and have kids with me, and I was her best friend, but (the big but) she didn’t want that right now. Right now she wants to enjoy her freedom, she wants to live it up a bit and date other people and have sex with other people. She says that she will eventually settle down in a few years and then she knows exactly what she wants when that happens….. me.
So now she wants to be my best friend with benefits of sex, but otherwise, she wants to be free to see and be with other people if she so chooses. She even told me that she wanted me to see and have sex with other women, which is hard for me to come to grips with at the moment.
Anyway, that’s my situation. It seems strange to me, but I know a lot here have been through some strange things. If you’ve been through something similar, did you stick it out? Leave? Go crazy? If you stuck it out, how’d you do it? Are you happy now? You know, the normal questions.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this woman and I’d do about anything for herand I want it to work out. And I don’t want to make her sound bad and I wouldn’t normally air my problems to a bunch of strangers, but I am just at a loss as to what to do. And I can see the problems that she says that we’ve had over the past 5 years, even though I was totally oblivious to these things while they were occurring. So I’m trying to improve myself as well and I’m hoping the pricey counseling sessions start to help eventually as well.
-
28
Do you think some people are better off with the borg?
by new light ini work with someone who is df'ed, actually my cousin.
he is trying to get reinstated.
we got into a semi-heated discussion and i gave him a lot of my anti-wt viewpoints, trying to get him to think for himself.
-
-
Descender
I think it depends on a number of factors. What if this person is totally reliant on this religion and everyone he knows is in the religion? What if before he was a witness, he was in a constant state of depression? What if when he found out the truth about the "truth", he falls back into a deep depression, starts to get heavily into alcohol and drugs, maybe even kills himself? These are factors to consider. Wouldn't being delusional in a messed up religion, but still having a relatively happy life believing the lies be better than a few years of torturous depression and a bullet to the brain because you can't handle reality?
-
36
How many here are gamers? and what is your system of choice? favorite game?
by Azalo in.
i have a gamecube and my favorite game is mario kart double dash.. btw.
for the poll pc gaming counts
-
-
Descender
I have a Game Cube that I got soley for the Legend of Zelda games.
I have a PS2 which is a great gaming system, I've played a lot of games on it, my favorites being Grand Theft Auto 3, Vice City, and Hitman 2.
I have an X-Box and my favorite game is Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I also have Rainbow six 3, and I have a few other role-playing and bloody action games.
I've also been an avid Everquest gamer on the PC over the internet for 4 years now. It's actually getting kind of boring as of late. I guess playing a game every night for 4 years straight will eventually get boring. But I must say, Everquest has more replay value than any other game I've ever played, since it has no real conclusion or ending.
-
-
-
Descender
Here's what would have happened in my old congregation.
Elder Judicial committee: So, it was reported to us that you were seen on the news because you won the lottery?
Upstanding pioneer woman: well yes, it was the first time that I ever bought lottery tickets, I only bought three, three dollars isn't a big deal. I sometimes spend more than that on coffee and doughnuts during service stops.
Elder Judicial committee: I seeee, well how much was it that you won again?
Upstanding pioneer woman: I took it in one lump sum and after taxes it comes out to $43,000,000.
Elder Judicial committee: My my my, that's a big sum of money. I think gambling for that amount of money might just be a disfellowshipping offense.
Upstanding pioneer woman: But I've never been in trouble for anything, and I've been a regular pioneer for 5 years living on the edge of poverty. Some good forune can't be that bad. Please don't make it a disfellowshipping matter.
Elder Judicial committee: Oh, but it is a disfellowshipping matter, whether we like it or not.
Upstanding pioneer woman: (crying) please, my whole family and all my friends are in the truth, they'll all hate me if I get disfellowshipped. I'm so sorry, if I could do it over I wouldn't have bought those 3 lottery tickets.
Elder Judicial committee: Well, if you're truly sorry that you bought the tickets, then maybe we could look past your transgression and make everything go back the way it was.
Upstanding pioneer woman: (sniffeling) really, how?
Elder Judicial committee: well, I think the society would really appreciate a donation of $43,000,000 don't you?
Upstanding pioneer woman: (crying again) I guess that wold make sense, I was being so selfish trying to keep the money for myself. I'm so sorry brothers.
Elder Judicial committee: Well sister, that is what we are here for. Hmmm, you know. I don't know if the society would accept money that they knew was from the result of gambling. You should probably make the check out to the three of us here. We'll make sure that it gets donated properly to the society.
Upstanding pioneer woman: Ok brothers, thank you for the help. Here is the check.
-
32
If you had to choose between Truth or Happiness
by dh inif suddenly you were confronted by someone who could grant it, and offered these two choices, which would you choose (if either).. 1.
(truth) you can have the answers to all of your questions, know and understand the absolute truth about all things, who we are, where we came from and how it all happened, and most importantly, you will be able to comprehend why.
the price of this insight is not cheap... you must leave behind everything you know; family, friends, pets, property, all things you value, you do not get to say goodbye and you will never see any of them again.. or.. 2.
-
-
Descender
So this is one of those hypothetical questions where we look back and say, well most of us have opted for the truth at one time or another being the fact that we were trapped in an alternate reality known as Jehovah's Witnesses --- and now we aren't. And a lot of us are happier now than we were before.
This question takes the premice a bit further and basically says that it's possible that we are trapped in a big lie. Maybe it's something like the Matrix, or Vanilla Sky where he was trapped in a dream that became a nightmare. Maybe I'm in a coma and I've dreamed all of this up and if I knew the truth I could break free. Maybe I've lived 100 lives before and I just don't remember and knowing the truth would lead me to eternal enlightenment. Or maybe, the truth isn't so wonderful and mystical. Maybe I'd ask for the truth and learn that there is no god, that evolution has shaped our world and that when we die nothing special happens, we just rot.
If I was given the option right now, without a question in my mind, I would instantly choose blissfull happiness. I wouldn't want there to be a micron of a chance that the latter of the above truths would be the real one if I was going to give up so much. Have you ever known someone you love so much, even after years and years of being with them, that you'd do anything to keep that love. That happiness, for me, would be far to great to take a chance on a truth that might be something I already have a good idea about.
Now on the other hand, if I'd just disassociated myself from the JW religion, if all my aquantances would no longer talk to me and I had no loving wife, children, parents, pets, etc. Then yeah, why not. Show me the Truth, I'd have nothing to lose.
-
-
-
Descender
My puglings.