Depressed

Descender

Hi, I'm wondering what the best way to get over depression is. I've been in a black hole for 3 months now and every damn day is a battle just to get out of bed. I've been faded for awhile now and so I lost most all the JW friends that I had in that transition. And I've kind of been a recluse for a few years now, so I don't have a really good idea on how to make new friends that aren't JWs because it's hard to talk about anything or take an interest in them when the only thing that has been eating at my brain for a few months now is my wife. Her seperating from me has been pretty hard to take because I didn't expect it at all and just the other day she told me that she'd had sex with another guy and he was better than me. That just added another knife to my heart at the moment and I took off work and just cried most of the day.

My mom, who is still a witness has been coming over, bible in hand, trying to convert me back and pray over me, and although I know she's trying to help, it doesn't because I just end up getting into a discussion with her about how I don't believe it anymore and it usually ends on a bad note. I do have a friend or two that were JW's at one time as well, but I just can't seem to have much fun with them because of the stuff that keeps running through my mind. I want to get over this. I hate the feeling of sitting at home alone, knowing my wife is out with other guys when just 4 months ago she was happy being with me. How do I get out of this muck that I'm sunk in? Three months is enough hell, I don't want four.

getting it

Sorry to hear of your pain. That can be very very tough, of that I am sure. I can't get real here in a public post but if you want someone to talk to please PM me your phone number.

Joyzabel

Descender,

please go see your health-care provider. You maybe having a chemical imbalance that will need some help. There is nothing wrong with that. Once the imbalance is straightened out, then you don't need the medication anymore.

Go see your doctor.

Joy

JamesThomas

Hey Descender, Many of us have been in similar situations where we lose everything dear to us and what's left all goes to hell. I suggest seeing a good psychologist and getting some couseling: and perhaps getting on some antidepressant meds, which will require an M.D.. This is a temporary fix which may help you bear the weight and move through. That said, get out in nature if you can, just for a day, or a few days of camping or backpacking. Much of the suffering we inflict upon ourselves by giving way too much attention to the minds memories and agonizing desires for things to be different that what they are. Byron Katie, can be good guidance out of this type of trap (click on her name and it takes you to her website). Remember this won't last forever and you have an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. j

mineralogist

And please take this good advice from your friends. It helped me a lot to be at this side and talk about my feelings or just say nonsense.

But I am on my way out of JW and do have some pain. Here are many with similar experience that really are touched by emotions! Do look for a professional and some group of exJW near your place.

Billygoat

Please go to a doctor. A chemical imbalance is not something to be embarrassed about. The body during stressful times stops producing the "feel-good" chemicals needed to be happy. It's a lot like a diabetic's body not being able to produce enough insulin properly. Zoloft, Paxil, etc can actually help rebalance those feel-good chemicals out. Nobody has to know unless you tell them. You will be surprised by how well they work!!!

bebu

((((Descender))))

I'm sorry about the blows you are dealing with. Please be kind to yourself and do what is needed for now so that the long-term will be better.

The advice here is good, because mental pain is still pain. Whether mental or physical, it is so hard to operate when pain is overwhelming. Please go see a doctor soon.

((((Hug))))

bebu

Sassy

(((((((((((Descender))))))))))))) I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. Anyone in your shoes would be feeling the same way. Therapy might be a good idea as was suggested above. When my marriage to my first husband broke up and he was having an affair, I ended up seeing someone and it helped. If you ever need a friend to talk to, please pm me.

Sassy

shamus

www.wingofmadness.com

Check out the above link.

codeblue

(((Descender)))

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. It seems to me you have been hit every which way...no wonder you are "depressed".

When my husband left me, that was bad enough....I couldn't cope. I was working full time and couldn't sleep. I swallowed my pride and went to my family doctor.

Please go to your Doctor...he (she) can help you during this traumatic time. If it takes anti-depressants, so be it.

Next: Stop isolating yourself!!! Get a kewl dog, and go to Starbucks!!! People love people with dogs...Or just go to Starbucks....Have a hobby? Meet up with people with the same interest. What about people where you work????

Trust me, your life is just starting....get connected. Meetup with posters from this board that are in your area. Mr. CB and I have just started doing that and we are enjoying meeting people that understand "where we are coming from" with no judgement!!!

I hope you start feeling better...but please take care of yourself. Remember: You are worth it!

Hugs,

Codeblue

Depressed

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