Great piece Terry,
I'm 73 now and spent over half a century in the jw prison. Of course, there were times that I actually truly believed. As the 'disappointments' mounted up, I began to withdraw, at least mentally and emotionally from the wt. I wanted so much to believe, but real life has a way of setting matters straight and revealing the truth. In the years leading up to 1975, I didn't sell everything and start full time preaching so I guess I didn't really believe that the end was coming. When 1994-95 came and went, (end of the 1914 'generation') the disappointment became disbelief!
One last hope was that, "surely by the end of the 20th century" this system would end and we would be in paradise! My wife and I purchased a brand new 1998 GMC Suburban right at the end of 1997. I remember jokingly telling her that would would be able to drive this vehicle right into the 'new system'. She hesitated for a moment and then laughed. Then she added, "I'd rather drive in in a new BMW but that wouldn't look to good to the other survivors!" I LMAO!
just saying!