Posts by JohnR

20

(UN)Expected development

by InquiryMan in

part 1: my family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.

we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.

before we stopped, i served as an elder.

I sure hope it works out for you. From my personal experience I would say it won't. When my brother first went over to the dark side we would try to get him to bring the family over for holidays. We would tell him he did not have to celebrate just come and visit. Once he did stop by on the way home from their annual Christmas day ski trip with other JW's. It was just not the same. There was one time he was invited over the Saturday after Thankgiving for a turkey dinner. Because my mother was serving turkey he wanted to know if we were going to celebrate Thankgiving that day. As if the fact we were going to have a turkey for dinner was going to cause them some spiritual problem.

JohnR

20

(UN)Expected development

by InquiryMan in

part 1: my family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.

we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.

before we stopped, i served as an elder.

JohnR

I did the same thing when I was 17 and now it's been 20 years and I get a letter from my mom that the check I sent was considered a Chrsitmas gift and that she could not accept it. It did not say Merry Christmas.

My brother and his wife (both JW's and he an elder) have been sending our mother oranges in December for many years now. Many times he has said they can accept gifts but not a Christmas gift or a Birthday gift. She gives them a box of pears in December and they accept it without a problem. They are the only members of the family who are JW.

One of his sons (my nephew) got out a few years ago and since the Summer of 04 has been shunned by them. At least we now get to see this nephew for the holidays. Still learning new things of what went on in the JW's and thinking of ways for my brother to see the light.

14

The Compassionate GB Member

by PopeOfEruke in

one afternoon a wealthy governing body member was riding in his limousine when he saw two men, on all fours alongside the road, eating grass.

disturbed at the site, the gb member ordered his driver to stop and then got out to investigate.

the gb member asked the first man "sir, why are you eating the grass.

JohnR

I am not sure that my brother would find the humor in it. Maybe I'll show it to his ex JW son and see what he thinks.

49

Catholic "Just War" Doctrine vs JW Pacifist Doctrine

by rocketman in

having been a practicing jehovah's witness for 30 years, i had been exposed to their pacifist doctrine, which taught that christians were not to enlist in armies or participate in warfare on any level.

this doctrine was later modified somewhat to allow for non-military "alternative" service as a matter of conscience.. i had always thought of the jw doctrine as lofty.

it was based on bible verses such as isaiah 2:4 and matthew 26:52. the idea was that, if all people were jehovah's witnesses, carnal warfare would be eliminated.

JohnR

heathen,

I have never owned a gun although I know how to use one and have a Firearm Owner's ID (just in case). The conversation I related was over 14 years ago and I only bring it up because the sense I got out of it is that my brother would do nothing to protect his family if there was an intruder. That is to say he would not fight back in any way. My father's position was that you should do all you can to protect yourself and your family. I don't know if my brother has modified his position and would fight back if it was appropriate. As I said this was his position when he first started in the JW's so I think that was what he was taught at that time.

John

49

Catholic "Just War" Doctrine vs JW Pacifist Doctrine

by rocketman in

having been a practicing jehovah's witness for 30 years, i had been exposed to their pacifist doctrine, which taught that christians were not to enlist in armies or participate in warfare on any level.

this doctrine was later modified somewhat to allow for non-military "alternative" service as a matter of conscience.. i had always thought of the jw doctrine as lofty.

it was based on bible verses such as isaiah 2:4 and matthew 26:52. the idea was that, if all people were jehovah's witnesses, carnal warfare would be eliminated.

JohnR

Interesting questions and answers.

When my brother was first in the JW's he and my father would get into arguments about violence, killing and self defense. I am not sure what my brother said but my father's response was that if some one broke in to your home and was going to physically harm or kill your family then you should defend the family even if it meant killing the intruder. I was left with the impression that my brother did not believe that. My father told him to his face that he was a fool if he did not do what it takes to keep his family safe.

John

14

The Compassionate GB Member

by PopeOfEruke in

one afternoon a wealthy governing body member was riding in his limousine when he saw two men, on all fours alongside the road, eating grass.

disturbed at the site, the gb member ordered his driver to stop and then got out to investigate.

the gb member asked the first man "sir, why are you eating the grass.

JohnR

I think the joke works very well the way it is presented here. The question is should I show it to my brother, the JW Elder, when he is over for dinner on Saturday?

John

13

The Soap Opera Continues

by JohnR in

after reading many stories here i guess i should have seen this coming but i would not have thought it possible with my family.. my brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago.

we were informed recently that one of my nephew's(jeff) got out and we could not be happier.

jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice.

JohnR

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. It is strange that my brother has not met Jeff's girl friend yet but Jeff's brother and sister have. I wonder what my brother thinks of that? In any event my mother has decided to have just the JW side of the family over for dinner. Yes I know what it seems like but my mother wants to keep the lines of communication open with her son. We will see what happens. I do find it odd that he will visit his non JW family but will not see his former JW child. So, dinner is in a week. I wonder what we will talk about? Thanks, John

13

The Soap Opera Continues

by JohnR in

after reading many stories here i guess i should have seen this coming but i would not have thought it possible with my family.. my brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago.

we were informed recently that one of my nephew's(jeff) got out and we could not be happier.

jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice.

JohnR

After reading many stories here I guess I should have seen this coming but I would not have thought it possible with my family.

My brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago. We did not like it but what are you going to do? We were informed recently that one of my nephew's(Jeff) got out and we could not be happier. Jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice. We met them for dinner and learned that he has not been in the org for a few years and she has helped him with being with people for holidays and the like. My brother has known this for over 8 months but did not say anything to us even when we asked how Jeff was.

Now to what happened yesterday. My mother wanted to have the entire family over for dinner in May. She talked to my brother's wife, agreed on a date and mentioned that she would call the grandchildren that are not living with my brother. She called the grandchild(Mike) that is still a JW but he and his wife did not answer so she left a message. An hour or so later she received a call and thought it was Mike. However it was my brother who informed my mother that if Jeff was going to be at the dinner then he would not be coming. My mother tried to reason with him but he would not discuss it with her. So I guess he is shunning his kid. I never thought it would come to that. At the moment it looks like we will be having the dinner without Jeff just so we see my brother and keep the peace. Has anyone else had a situation similar to this and how did you handle it?

TIA

John

6

What if a close family member decided to join the org?

by ohiocowboy in

scary topic, and knock on wood it doesn't happen to anyone, but.... what if one of your closest family members; spouse, sibling, parent, or child came to you and told you that their mind is made up, and they have decided to join the organization.

how would you respond?

what unbiased, loving council would you give them, so as not to ruin your relationship with them?.

JohnR

My brother and his family went in to the org over ten years ago. They were looking for something that they thought was lacking in their lives. By the time we knew they were studying with JW's it was too late. I think once people have made up their mind it is counter productive to try to talk them out of it. Just point out that you think they are making a mistake and that you are available for them if they have questions or change their minds. Keep the lines of communication open and hope that at some point they will come to their senses.

7

Nephew Out...Now What?

by JohnR in

just recently i have found out that my nephew (i'll call him r) is no longer a jw.

my brother and sister-in-law (his parents) are still in along with there 2 other children.

the other son married an elder's daughter a year ago and my niece is a pioneer.

JohnR

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions you have all been very helpful.

I have made plans to have dinner with R and his girlfriend in about a week. So, some things may be answered or become more clear at that time. I do not think he was DF'd. I think it was a slow process that began when he went to college. Although he stayed at home and commuted I think that was the begining. It accelerated when he moved out of the house about 3 years ago and was not able to keep up with the JW work load or maybe he did not want to? He has been dating this woman for over 6 months now and we only heard it from him. His parents knew about her but have said nothing to us so far. I doubt they ever will.

Part of me is very happy in a gloating sort of way that he is no longer a JW but another part knows this is not some contest between us and his parents. I do know that my brother's decision around 15 years ago to join the JW's not only affected him, his wife and children it also affected myself and the rest of the family.

Thanks again for the comments and suggestions. I am glad this forum is here. It has been a great help.

JohnR