The Soap Opera Continues

by JohnR 13 Replies latest social family

  • JohnR
    JohnR

    After reading many stories here I guess I should have seen this coming but I would not have thought it possible with my family.

    My brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago. We did not like it but what are you going to do? We were informed recently that one of my nephew's(Jeff) got out and we could not be happier. Jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice. We met them for dinner and learned that he has not been in the org for a few years and she has helped him with being with people for holidays and the like. My brother has known this for over 8 months but did not say anything to us even when we asked how Jeff was.

    Now to what happened yesterday. My mother wanted to have the entire family over for dinner in May. She talked to my brother's wife, agreed on a date and mentioned that she would call the grandchildren that are not living with my brother. She called the grandchild(Mike) that is still a JW but he and his wife did not answer so she left a message. An hour or so later she received a call and thought it was Mike. However it was my brother who informed my mother that if Jeff was going to be at the dinner then he would not be coming. My mother tried to reason with him but he would not discuss it with her. So I guess he is shunning his kid. I never thought it would come to that. At the moment it looks like we will be having the dinner without Jeff just so we see my brother and keep the peace. Has anyone else had a situation similar to this and how did you handle it?

    TIA

    John

  • myauntfanny
    myauntfanny

    That's the problem with JWs, they constantly make the simplest things complicated. One solution might be to have another family dinner that includes the nephew. Schedule it before the one with your brother, then you can talk about Jeff's opinions and activities in front of his father, in a friendly spirit. That might make him miss his son, and be sad and jealous that you know what's going on with his son when he doesn't.

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow
    That's the problem with JWs, they constantly make the simplest things complicated.

    Isn't that the truth, myauntfanny? If it weren't so hurtful, it would be hysterical. Oh well.

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Sadder even that he's trying to force the whole family to shun his kid. I'd invite them all, and if the brother takes issue with his son being there, it is his problem. Interesting that the religion has caused such a disconnect that you didn't know about Jeff until recently. You may not be able to do anything about the relationships with the JW brother, but Jeff might appreciate having family again. Just my random thoughts.

    Odrade

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Teach the snert a lesson...screw him...tell him he's not wanted there if he shuns his own kid...shun him back...let him soak in his own misery. PISSHEADS!

  • Mum
    Mum

    I'm with Yeru. Don't negotiate with terrorists. It is not possible to "keep the peace" with their kind. I say everyone is invited. Those who have no natural affection for their own children can stay away if they wish.

    What I really have to see is an "obscene or vulgar comment." Feel free to tell your brother.

    Mum

  • kat2u
    kat2u

    john,

    This is a ver common thing among JWS.I am shunned by my mother as well as my adult daughter and her family.

    It is extremly painful not to see my grandchild although we live in the same town.My mother refuses to ever be in the same place as i might be.Its very unloving and cruel.

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    I have always had a problem with invited guests setting conditions. Invite who your Moms wants and they show or they don't show. It's their bad! Don't get sucked into petty crap. The next time this comes up and someone starts in with this crap cut them off and tell them to grow up. Guests do not dictate terms on food, drink or other guests! No one is holding a gun their heads! Maverick

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    Yes, it happened to my family much the same way. Two of my bros were df's and shunned. It was terribly awkward but we just accepted it for many many years. Now I simply look at it this way: It is I who shun's the JW's now, family included, and I am very critical of the JW's who assume that they are good enough association for my kids whose mother is still in. I really hold them up to their own standards and do not give an inch.

    Corvin

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    Invite the whole troupe and let the ones who don't want to come stay at home! I liked that line: Don't negotiate with terrorists.

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