"and let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom.....".
i didn't go to the meeting today (again) and i felt dreadful.
my family went and i stayed behind.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I can't really see to type at the moment because I am crying. I spend a lot of time crying lately, when noone is around, because I feel so bad. But I know I am doing the right thing. I thank God that I found this forum and I thank God for Simon for making it possible and for all of you for being there.
xxR
i would like to know how many people here are thinking of going back to the hall if the elders go and visit them.
we had stories of people telling the elders that they had enough and wanted to get out.
on the other hand, i am sure a few will go back, but we will not hear their stories as much because they fear the reaction of this board.
I'm with StinkyPantz on this - I would carry on going to keep up communication with family. I don't want to be DAd or DFd, although I am not sure what the elders have up their sleeves. I don't discourage others from going - I just don't want to go myself. I will go now and again just so I can keep my family happy, although eventually I will stop for good. A bit like some have mentioned - just fade away. I hate going and it makes me sick. I also get sick when I don't go (yes - I am really weird and mixed up!)
xxR
"and let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom.....".
i didn't go to the meeting today (again) and i felt dreadful.
my family went and i stayed behind.
Thanks all,
Your remarks helped a lot. Once I get over these panicky feelings when I don't go, I know I'll feel a lot better. When I don't go to the KH (and this has been going on for a long time) my heart pounds and I end up feeling sick. I know it is hard to break free from a group like this. And jurs, I totally agree - the KH is devoid of love and fine works - at least the one I go to is. There are the odd few that are genuine, but they are far outweighed by the holier-than-thou set. I'll just give it time.
Thanks everyone.
xxR
"and let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom.....".
i didn't go to the meeting today (again) and i felt dreadful.
my family went and i stayed behind.
jst2laws & A Paduan,
Thank you for your kindness. I have had doubts for a long, long time, but was never brave enough to confront them before. I am so thankful for this forum.
xxR
"and let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom.....".
i didn't go to the meeting today (again) and i felt dreadful.
my family went and i stayed behind.
Thanks back2dafront & Sentinel - your comments helped.
I find it hard to relax - constant butterflies in my stomach etc. I know I need to be patient and give everyone else time to get used to the 'new' me. I just hate to hurt people that I love. I know they have to make their own lives and so do I, but I just wish this panicky feeling would go. I know that there are many thngs I have been taught over the past 12 years or so that have helped me, so it is such a shame that it should be spoilt by dictatorial morons who seem to take pleasure in other people's misery. I will miss going to the KH and I will miss my friends, but at least it will give me a chance to know who my true friends are. I am expecting many to shun me out of fear once it becomes common knowledge that I am no longer attending meetings, but I am preparing myself for that. I just don't know why I panic when my family go to meetings without me. This real fear grips me - I don't know where it's coming from. I suppose I need to take things slowly and things will settle eventually.
xxR
"and let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom.....".
i didn't go to the meeting today (again) and i felt dreadful.
my family went and i stayed behind.
"And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom....."
I didn't go to the meeting today (again) and I felt dreadful. My family went and I stayed behind. When they had gone, I broke down in tears - I felt so bad.
Then I started thinking - why do I feel so guilty about not going? I have some good friends who are JWs and they hate it when I don't go. They ring me up and plead with me. They don't like it when I am not there. Then there's my family - they hate it when I stay behind. I feel so bad because I think I am letting everyone down. I almost went today, but I just couldn't. The thought of it just made me so depressed, but I hate the fact that I am making so many people feel bad too by not being there. Then I kept thinking about the above scripture in Hebrews and I felt even worse. How long does it take for the pain to go? I can't have a breakdown every time my family go to the KH without me. Then I started thinking, maybe I could just go and be there in mind but not body. But some people have said and done such hurtful things (mainly 2 particular elders), when I see them I get angry, so it is best I stay behind. I also feel a hypocrite when I attend meetings because I don't accept half of what they teach. I feel in such a tizzy.
xxR
i watched a movie on tv the other night called "the others" with nicole kidman.
it got me thinking about ghosts.
of course, my jw thinking automatically kicks in and tells me that its.........come on, you all know the answer.......demons.
Some of you have had some really creepy experiences. I am glad it wasn't me - I don't know how I would react to such a thing - I'd probably have heart failure.
dmouse - that's such an interesting theory. I had never thought of that - we know the earth has a magnetic belt and, as you say, it is a giant magnetic and electrical system. It could work like some sort of giant video recorder. But why is it only some people see things and others don't? Are some people more susceptible to it?
Actually Kelsey, the job I enjoyed doing WAS cleaning - now who's jumping to conclusions?
And if you want snobbery, come to the UK - we have a class system to beat anything you have in the US!
Kelsey,
I think it is great that you are doing something that you enjoy. I had this discussion with friends the other day. We all agreed that we would rather have a job we really enjoyed than one that was high paying. It is also a bonus to work with people you like - it can make going to work such a misery if you work with horrible people. I don't mind what work I do - I have cleaned offices, toilets, windows etc. I have an MA and am looking into the possibility of studying for a PhD - but I still do cleaning if I need the money - you can earn more as a cleaner in London than a teacher or fireman! If it makes money and pays the bills, I'm happy to do it.
xxR
i watched a movie on tv the other night called "the others" with nicole kidman.
it got me thinking about ghosts.
of course, my jw thinking automatically kicks in and tells me that its.........come on, you all know the answer.......demons.
Man - I nearly fell off my chair!! That really gave me the creeps.
