Being true to yourself once you are awake is the first and primary thing. If you cannot do that, nothing else is really of any value at all.
If you're still in what happened to family study which you should take the lead in? How did these ministerial servants manage to take over your role as father?
Why don't you just stop the study as authoritative family head and take it yourself and teach your kids the real truth.
You seemed to have left a void with them that others have stepped in to fill. As I said before.. an absent father is the worst thing that can happen to a child.