Follow up to Crazyguys rant.

by Crazyguy 10 Replies latest social family

  • Crazyguy

    Want to thank everyone that's posted on the other thread the advise is much appreciated and I will look at all the ideas before I proceed. I wanted to talk about the advise concerning stopping my kids from going to meetings and or stopping the JW's from studying with my kids. First a little background on my situation.

    Im still married and still living with my wife. She takes the kids to the meetings and I have not tried to ever stop as of yet. Also when I was wake is about the time the MS started studying with my two oldest boys. I have a daughter that's the oldest and is the only one baptised also have more kids even younger then the two boys the MS is studying with.

    So anyway I don't see any up side on my part at trying to stop my kids from going to meetings and stopping this study. I think this will result in my wife taking the kids anyway and the study commencing behind my back. I will be labeled an apostate for sure most likely dfd and probably separated from my wife and kids. So please tell me where I'm wrong and if I proceed with this idea how to do it with out it all going bad for me. Or how to just try to stop the study alone and how the end result is pretty much the same. Thanks again.

  • GodZoo

    Being true to yourself once you are awake is the first and primary thing. If you cannot do that, nothing else is really of any value at all.

    If you're still in what happened to family study which you should take the lead in? How did these ministerial servants manage to take over your role as father?

    Why don't you just stop the study as authoritative family head and take it yourself and teach your kids the real truth.

    You seemed to have left a void with them that others have stepped in to fill. As I said before.. an absent father is the worst thing that can happen to a child.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Tell them that you will study with your kids. Pick a book and do it, maybe the kids book. Let them answer questions other than the ones in the book. "Have you ever seen someone walk on water?" "How do you think he did that?" "People don't really come back from the dead. Have you ever seen "some dead relative" back? Its a story isn't it?

    You never know, might get them thinking.

  • Sabin
    Crazyguy I agree, you need to be guided by your kids feelings. I have seen Fathers who have forced their kids to go & ones that have forced them not to. Either way yields bad results. I personally have the experience of a husband that did neither of these & his kids love him. We talked about how we are going to feel if ours shun us which is most likely going to happen at some stage, however they will never be able to say we got it wrong or we were bad parents. They have both told us that to. Lots of JDubs screw their kids up by trying to turn them into what they want, let them see you be true to yourself & still be an amazing husband, farther, man.
  • sparrowdown

    You need to take one thing at a time. Attempting to stop them from attending the meetings with their mother will be counterproductive.

    But you have every right to study with your own kids. Try this.

    To get everybody used to the idea, let them know you will be studying with them from now on but you will sit in on their study with the MS for a month or so to give them time to adjust to the change and for you to observe how he is doing it. Then after that have the MS still attend but you conduct the study and inform the MS that he is free to stay or go after that.

    Invite the the M S to go fishing or hiking with you and the boys and you might even wake him up aswell.

    Patience and diplomacy.

  • Crazyguy
    God zoo it's true I was not studying with kids before I woke up. I was like most JW's just going to meetings and service a couple times a month. When I started to become spiritual is when the wheels fell off the machine. Then I learned and studied the Bible finding out that most of it is taken from other sources and the Jews took most their religious beliefs from the nation's around them. I have not studied the Bible with my kids as of yet because I don't believe it to be from God anymore.
  • millie210

    I think that being true to oneself becomes something different when one becomes a parent.

    It then means that for the next ____ years, you will seek the best interests of that child ahead of and before anything.

    Your plan sounds wise to me CrazyGuy.

    Who was it that said - hold your friends close and your enemies even closer?

  • sparrowdown

    You may have to pretend to believe - for their sake and to win them back.

    A sacrifice worth making if you want them to ever wake up.

  • GodZoo
    I have not studied the Bible with my kids as of yet because I don't believe it to be from God anymore.

    Then teach them that.. they are your children.. not the organisations.

    I know it must be an incredibly difficult and complex situation for you to be in right now and I did not mean to lack empathy. I never had a father at all and can see very clearly from the view of the child when one's father is not there to care for you and do the right thing however difficult and hard that may have been for him. Anything less is a form of abandonment. Being true to oneself is always important and even more so as a parent as it will be the substance and foundation of how your children will view you in later years.

    Like: "Why if you knew did you let this happen to us".

  • sparrowdown

    Once you are "studying" with them yourself, you can go on nature walks instead.

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