Posts by brainmelt

8

Are you Proud ?

by Phizzy in

jw
friends

when we were jw's pride was usually cast in a bad light, linked with being "haughty" and coming before a "fall" etc.. but taking pride in certain things is actually a very good thing, i am proud of my children, they have grown in to fine adults who everybody talks well of, they had the sense never to be baptised jw's, i am proud of that too.. i am proud of my achieving a full education since leaving, i haven't done a degree course due to lack of funds etc, but i am now very well read.. i am proud that i am now a better human, kinder, more empathetic, less judgemental, contributing to the community, voting, donating blood etc etc.

i am proud to be associated with jwn and with aawa, i am proud to know you all !.

what are you proud of ?

brainmelt

I'm incredibly proud of my two beautiful children

I'm proud to have control of my own mind at last

18

how do you cope with the stress of fading?

by brainmelt in

jw
friends

i'm really struggling with it.

i've been learning the ttatt for the past 6 months now and i've been inadvertantly fading - either one of us or the children have had coughs/colds/flu/chicken pox/stress over the past 3 months which has meant we've missed a lot of meetings and field service with good reason.

we've only been out in service twice this year, so far no ones mentioned it to us but i'm waiting for our group overseer to bring it up anytime soon.

brainmelt

I'm really struggling with it. I've been learning the TTATT for the past 6 months now and I've been inadvertantly fading - either one of us or the children have had coughs/colds/flu/chicken pox/stress over the past 3 months which has meant we've missed a lot of meetings and field service with good reason. We've only been out in service twice this year, so far no ones mentioned it to us but I'm waiting for our group overseer to bring it up anytime soon. My husband knows I have doubts, he doesn't know I'm on here, he doesn't know the extent of it yet. I was always the spiritual head and now that I'm not making any effort, he's not really bothering either. He always invents an excuse on a Saturday morning so we never go out, he won't go to a meeting alone. The other night after a few glasses of wine, he mentioned something about a couple in our old hall who fell away and who apparently wrote a letter to the elders asking that they don't be contacted, he said, why be so direct, why not just drift away? I can't remember his exact words but he said he feels the same as me but that if armaggedon did arrive in 20 years after all, he'd kick himself but feel really happy that his parents had managed to make it. I don't know where to go next with him really. I don't want to scare him but also want to encourage his doubts and lazy ways.

I'm still completely terrified of how to approach things with my family (I have both parents and 2 sisters and a brother still in plus inlaws) and also how to approach things with the elders if and when they finally notice that we aren't very regular. I've missed so many meetings that it feels like it would be easy enough to just stop now. I have days where I just cry all day - specifically Fridays, where I'm dreading the weekends - meetings/ministry/guilt of missing ministry. I am on this site far too much but i am finally getting answers to all my questions. I dont' know how to switch off, I have so much to learn and I'm trying to learn the entire history of the world/the bible/the WTS/evolution all at once and as my user name suggests, my brain feels like its melting.

How do you deal with it all, how can I cope with all the stress? The only good side is that my children (aged 2 and 4) are athiests, as in, they have no need for god or religion yet, they have yet to be brainwashed, they are completely cool about everything, they love dinosaurs and animals like me and aren't in the slightest bit bothered about not being at the meetings.

Any advice is much appreciated. I love this site so much, its completely opening my eyes and you are all helping me enormously but I feel like I'm going nuts! x

63

When You Learned TTATT, the truth about the truth(tm) How Did It Make You Feel?

by LoisLane looking for Superman in

.

i felt stunned.

i felt betrayed.. just lois.

brainmelt

Embarrased - that i've ever identified myself as a JW and embarrassed that anyone knows that I'm a JW

Angry - that I've been lied to all my life and made to feel guilty over nothing

Depressed - where do I turn to, how do I tell my family?

Scared - as above

Confused - as above

Happy - that I can think my own thoughts, I don't believe in Armaggedon, the devil, the 'paradise' anymore

Stuck - as to how I get out unscathed

Excited - about the future, the unknown and being allowed to live my own life, my one life, this one, not an imaginary future one.

44

Differences Between JWs in the US and Europe

by BU2B in

jw
friends

there are many cultural differences between the general population of the us and europe, what about jws?

i have heard about such things as beards being allowed, movies that a jw cant watch in the us or would be frowned upon watching being ok, same with tv shows, and even the way they dress in public.

seems more laid back over there if this is true.. any truth to this?

brainmelt

I'm in the UK and beards are frowned upon in a lot of congregations, others are less strict. Higher education is discouraged in talks/WT publications the same as anywhere else but a large number of teenagers, including elders children, attend college or university after school, its quite normal and the elders don't lose their positions. Most of the young ones spend their weekends partying -either house parties or pubs/clubs but as long as they keep up appearances at the hall - ministry, answering up, giving talks, then what they do the rest of the time is pretty much overlooked until someone gets caught or does something stupid or confesses. In my old hall, you had to be a MS or elder to even handle the mikes but in my new hall they let any brother who is regular do them.

211

New light Watchtower magazine leaked from organization weeks ahead of general release

by cedars in

http://jwsurvey.org/governing-body-2/new-light-watchtower-magazine-leaked-from-organization-weeks-ahead-of-general-release.

if doctrinal explanations are missing from the article, it is because they are also missing from the magazine.. i would like to give my thanks again to my source for supplying me with the magazine article weeks ahead of its scheduled release.

it showed remarkable courage, because risks were taken.

brainmelt

Thanks for posting this. If I had doubts about my doubts before, they are all gone now. I felt physically sick after reading this earlier, I can't believe I used to just mindlessly accept all this rubbish before. How dare they try and tell me what to believe.

19

When will you NOT go anymore ?

by Phizzy in

jw
friends

i ask this of all who know ttatt and yet still attend, i am interested, when will you judge it is the right time not to go to meetings anymore ?.

a big part of me wants to say ".

.

brainmelt

I was asking myself that same question the other day. I really don't know. I've missed a lot of meetings recently due to the children being ill or needing to go to bed early on week nights. We have only made about 4 or 5 Sunday meetings and no Thursday meetings at all in the last couple of months & done field service once during that time and I was thinking it would be easy enough to just stop going now... But I'm a wimp too. I don't feel mentally ready to face the elders. I'm still not brave enough to tell my family although I plan to tell my sister soon that I have a few doubts, just to prepare her a bit that I might stop going soon. Plus we have a few things coming up soon that would be really noticable if I missed them - memorial, assembly and CO visit. I want to be out by the end of the year but don't know if I can last that long.

43

Seven Thousand Year Creative Day still being taught (as of 2005)

by VM44 in

here is a photo of a gilead instructor (br.

liverance) teaching a class on chronology.. the photo appears in a blog entry dated 5-21-2005.. note the "6,000" and "1,000" periods in the timeline drawn on the whiteboard.. i thought the 7,000 year creative day was no longer taught, but apparently it still is at gilead, at least in the year 2005.. (picture cannot be embedded here for some reason, so here is the link to it).

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ydnht0xya-4/sbukuolyzei/aaaaaaaaacs/t-rgxaammbg/s1600-h/chronology+%28br.+liverance%29.jpg.

brainmelt

As the Creative days must be of the same length, to be called days, where does that leave their calculation for the length of each day ?

I would say it leaves it up the famous creek without a paddle if they wish to engender some urgency about the closeness of the end of the 7th day, that must be millions of years away !

Exactly Phizzy, I totally agree, there's no logic.

Even if they now teach that the earth is millions of years old, they still teach that humans have only been around for 6000 years, despite human remains, art work and tools that have been unearthed that date back much much further than that. They will only agree with science if it seems to harmonise with the bible, anything else must be inaccurate and flawed

21

NEW BLOOD CARD DIRECTIVE...

by SkyGreen in

the husband just gave me the new march km (im using it folded up as a coaster at the moment) and a new "blood card" to complete, along with a copy of a set of instructions for how to fill it out and a letter from wts to every baptised publisher.

i said to him "i wont be needing that" and gave it back to him, and he just said, well just throw it out then - no overreaction yay :o) without telling him, about a month ago, (i tore up my existing no blood directive.

our kids have never carried around "identity cards" we were never that diligent about it).

brainmelt

I've been wondering if its worthwhile carrying some sort of anti-blood directive card with me, something with my signature on that would express my wishes that I'd like to be given a blood transfusion in an emergency situation just in case I end up unconscious with my parents or the HLC trying to convince the docs to let me die. I no longer carry my blood card because its one of the main things that I just can't agree with anymore and the children have never carried theres.

I think its worth having a serious talk with your husband about the blood issue and let him know exactly how you feel. No one in their right mind actualy wants their children to die and you may be able to get him to do some proper research on it all. I had a talk with my husband the other night, turns out that he agrees with the Jewish view on blood - meat should be kosher and blood should be given to preserve a life in an emergency because life is the most important thing. He agreed that the children would get blood if needed and I said that there's no way I'd wait until the doctors got a court order, that I'd agree there and then but that I'd get disfellowshipped for my decision. I noticed that he'd been looking up things about blood transfusion and repentance on the WT library so he is thinking at least.

44

Is a slow fade being selfish when you have kids?

by dissonance_resolved in

so i got some great advice to take things very slowly with the husband and kids in order to be able to fade and still maintain contact with my parents and siblings.

but today i got a call from my son's teacher that he was having a meltdown because he was worried about all his friends and teachers being destroyed at armageddon.... first i felt like such a schmuck for ever having allowed that thought to enter my son's head, then i thought, is it psychological torture for me not to immediately correct the situation?

i had a long talk with him about how god is perfectly just and full of love and he didn't have to worry about that at all, but it still seemed lukewarm.

brainmelt

I'm in a simiilar position too, trying to fade but husband is still in (although happily he is starting to look into a few things since I've expressed my doubts) and we have two little ones. It's so hard, especially if you are like me and aren't quite sure of what you believe any more, im only sure of what I don't believe.

I'm not sure how old your son is, it may be harder if he is a little older and has had more time to be indoctrinated but mine are 2 and 4 and its easy enough at the moment to just not talk about it at home - my husband never does the family study anyway so they really don't get much WT stuff thrown at them. We haven't been at the meetings much recently due to illness and when we are there I take toys/colouring in books/normal kids books for them so they aren't bored.

I don't think a slow fade is selfish because you are doing it to keep in with family, I'm doing exactly the same but it definitely makes it a whole lot harder when you have children. I think all you can do for now is try and encourage friendships with other kids, make life fun for them, spend lots of time with them and encourage them to think and use their brains and not just accept everything they hear.

Wishing you every success and please feel free to pm me if you want to chat, I know how hard it is :(

Brainmelt x

28

Just wondering what is the JWs stance on the existance of dinosaurs ???

by AMO in

jw
friends

was pondering today on the jws stance on the existance of the dinosaurs.

would be interested to know any belieavers stance on this eg.

your own belief and that of the wts current understanding.. insidentally i tried to search this on jw.org and no search bar, or at least i didn't find one ????.

brainmelt

The last article I can find on the WT library is from Awake 1990, this is a snippet of it:

The Genesis Account and Dinosaurs
While the radioactive dating method is innovative, it is still based on speculation and assumption. In contrast, the Bible account in the first chapter of Genesis simply states the general order of creation. It allows for possibly thousands of millions of years for the formation of the earth and many millenniums in six creative eras, or “days,” to prepare the earth for human habitation.
Some dinosaurs (and pterosaurs) may indeed have been created in the fifth era listed in Genesis, when the Bible says that God made “flying creatures” and “great sea monsters.” Perhaps other types of dinosaurs were created in the sixth epoch. The vast array of dinosaurs with their huge appetites would have been appropriate considering the abundant vegetation that evidently existed in their time.—Genesis 1:20-24.
When the dinosaurs had fulfilled their purpose, God ended their life. But the Bible is silent on how he did that or when. We can be sure that dinosaurs were created by Jehovah for a purpose, even if we do not fully understand that purpose at this time. They were no mistake, no product of evolution. That they suddenly appear in the fossil record unconnected to any fossil ancestors, and also disappear without leaving connecting fossil links, is evidence against the view that such animals gradually evolved over millions of years of time. Thus, the fossil record does not support the evolution theory. Instead, it harmonizes with the Bible’s view of creative acts of God.

It was actually this badly written article that started me on my search for the truth. My son loves dinosaurs and I realised I knew nothing about them and started to research them, realised how far off the WT explanation was from actual science and I set off to discover what else they were making up. A lot, as it turns out...

My uber-dub father in law thinks dinosaurs were created along with the other animals and were vegetarian. He thinks that if they ate meat it would only have been other dead dinosaurs and fish. He thinks carbon dating is only accurate for things after the flood. Its worrying really.

Brainmelt.