While I was not an elder, I was "reaching out" at a point in the past.
When I woke up to TTATT and decided that there was way to much nepotism and hypocrisy on the part of the majority of elders and ministerial servants in the congregation I wrote a several page letter detailing what the singular main incident was that opened my eyes. As part of that letter I informed the BOE that I would no longer be "reaching out". The following words are taken directly from my filed copy of that letter, and perhaps they will be of some measure of help.
"In view of this apparent ongoing situation, and in light of a number of personal observations voiced to me by some of the elders I find it necessary to respectfully request that I no longer be assigned, and inform you that I will not accept for the time being, any assignments customarily reserved for brothers only."
Since that time, while I still attend meetings for the sake of family members, I have quit having literal headaches, upset stomach, shakes, sweats etc. prior to and after meetings. It has been a wonderful benefit to my emotional and physical health to have quit running on the hamster wheel.