Posts by happy@last

for a while, i've sort of been wondering why i always check in with this board... i mean it's filled with great people of course - and is my only link to what's happening in the jw world, but i shouldn't care that much... i'm not a jw, neither is my husband - it's only his batshit crazy family who are and it shouldn't bother me that much.. however it does interfere with my life and when i'm around them, they do somehow manage to make me feel like crap.

i think it's all mad and they are most definitely stuck in a cult, however my husband - who grew up as a jw just sort of shrugs his shoulders and is a bit 'it is what it is' - it doesn't seem to offend him as much as it does me.... every time that i hear about a new change or scandal on here, i think 'surely this will be what wakes them up'!

happy@last

It's not easy, you have to appeal to their true personality. Have you read any of Steve Hassan's books? I've helped one of my children and am trying with another. You'll not manage with doctrine or teachings, more likely by asking about the love shown to them, or more accurately lack of love. or perhaps the guilt trips they experience etc

38

"Hello from Phats"

by phats in

jw
friends

hay out there.. wife got back from her thursday meeting & now she's setteled down with the dog, a v large g&t (maid be me) & watching terminator 2 on the telly with her ipad on her lap looking up places to go for our holiday (& googling symptoms of to many antibiotics as my 16 year old is getting signs of ibs).

so now is a good time to say hello.. well hello.

my name is phats & i'm an ex jehovah's witness.. there, i've said it.. this must be like it is going to your first aa meeting.. i've already used up some of my posts for a newbe but i'm not in to the whole long story thing.. basically i've been out now for 8 years (mentally out for all but four or five of those years of my life when i made the commitment, got baptized & married.).

happy@last

Welcome Phats, glad you made it out and seem to be free albeit with lots of ties unfortunately. Hope to hear more from you over time.

17

Internet Dating - I feel like I am being love bombed again

by KateWild in

i am on three or four sites and lots of guys are showing an interest and trying to be genuine.

it reminds me of being love bombed by the jws.

i am having so much fun and loving all the attention, i almost got carried away with it all, until i got a pm on jwn.. i have just been absorbing it all and it dawned on me i am still vulnerable, and possibly not ready to date.

happy@last

nonjwspouse

Make friends, don't think about relationships just now. If it happens, it happens

34

Disfellowshipping - The 10 year rule?

by Gembean in

is it true there is a 10 year rule?

i was reading on here when i saw someone quote it?

i've never heard of it before!.

happy@last

Welcome. I've never heard of it either.

19

New Here and happy to have found you

by flowerfreaks2 in

have been out officially for 5 1/2 years.

i was the only one out of all my 4 other siblings that stayed with it.

baptized at 16 and felt the need to carry on the heritage that my mom gave me to do.

happy@last

Welcome, what a great intro post, so glad you have found a happy environment.

28

need advice

by search4truth in

jw
friends

my spouse felt a need to tell to elders about me reading apostate websites and speaking against wt stuff , so they'll probably try to readjust my apostate thinking any time soon.

my spuse never see me reading anything but, during our arguments i did't keep my mouth shut and she knows that i had to read it somwhere and it wasn't jw.org.

could this get my in the trouble if my spose is the only witness and never spoke to another person about this stuff ?

happy@last

You have 2 seperate issues here, one is your spouse telling other people about private conversations, the second is the elders getting onto you about your doubts.

What is your desired outcome? If you want to continue to fade then admitting to personal study and looking at newspaper articles and wikipedia is not going to cause too much trouble for you, agree to only do the study they 'allow' you to. I'm assuming you have family who are JWs hence the fade, if not then why put off the inevitable?

With your spouse, what is your desired outcome? Keeping secrets? Or being open and sharing? Have you looked at Steve Hassans books about helping people escape a cult? It may take time, if you want to save them then appeal to their real personality, not the cult one. This is not going to be easy, you will need patience.

51

Dating Advice needed

by KateWild in

well i joined two dating sites yesterday and i have had lots of messages.

a couple of guys want to chat to me by phone to get to know me better.

i've been asked out on two dates.

happy@last

Enjoy your coffee, just let the conversation flow. Tell him the response you've had on the dating sites, see how he reacts. Talk about your likes and dislikes etc., you'll see pretty quickly if you click. There's no need to rush anything, just have fun. I'd stay away from the religion discussion initially as you are still only just out and he might find he's a counsellor instead of a date.

70

How old were you when you left the Watchtower - SURVEY

by usualusername in

jw
friends

i believe that the older you are the harder it is to leave the watchtower.. .

i am attempting to get a list of ages people learnt the "truth" and what age they left.. .

uun.

happy@last

Left in time to celebrate my 40th birthday. Should have left many years before but believed I could find happiness with them. I couldn't.