Posts by SpiritualGal08

45

Under WT rules, can JW women file for a divorce? Or can only men file?

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

the reason i ask is because while watching the "dateline" episode about ralph candelario, the claim was made that only jw men could file for divorce, not women.

.

i had never thought about this before.. also, how does this apply in cases where a husband is "apostate" while the wife is faithful to wt?

SpiritualGal08

As a former JW of 37 years, let me explain... This is what I experienced. I was married for just shy of 18 years to another JW. I got tired of his philandering and I went to the elders with what I thought would be proof of his indescretions and cheating. I had phone records, emails, times when he was out of town which corresponded to other evidence... They wanted no part of it and told me unless he came and confessed or I had two witnesses to his acts I would not be granted a SCRIPTURAL divorce. This scriptural divorce was the only way I would be able to date or remarry after the legal divorce was finalized and not be disfellowshipped. Needlesstosay, I called my own judicial committee meeting several months later, after my legal divorce, to inform them that they were going to have to disfellowship me as I had begun dating a "worldly man". Oh and may I add that my ex was the son of a prominent elder... So there's that element too. And nothing was ever done to him. He is in good standing to this day.

So to answer your question, yes a sister can divorce her husband without being disfellowshipped. However, if she begins to date without a scriptural divorce given by the elders, she will be questioned and if she doesn't stop dating or does remarry, she will be disfellowshipped on the grounds of adultery, just as I was.

28

Since leaving WTTS have you joined a new church or just continue with the new beliefs you have discovered under no religion?

by AmIright in

share your thoughts ?

SpiritualGal08

I've not joined another religion and doubt I ever will. I'm on a path of discovery and searching... As Pontius Pilate asked, so do I, "What is truth?" Indeed

19

I'm a Non-JW looking to ask a few questions re dfing

by RocketQueen in

jw
friends

someone close to me has been brought up as a jw since a very early age.

he's now looking to exit.

he was baptised as a teen and is now early 20s.

SpiritualGal08

My ex-brother -in -law got out of getting df'd by telling the elders who came and talked to him that he no longer identified himself nor considered himself as a Witness. He had faded away but since he had been baptized he was still on their radar. What is interesting is that I heard through the grapevine that he was advised by someone (perhaps his dad who is an elder?) that when the elders came to talk to him this was what he needed to say in order to not get df'd. If he ever decided to come back to the meetings and reactivate, then he would be disciplined for his past actions...has anyone else heard of this tactic for not being df'd?

And yes, RocketQueen, self-righteous, hard-core JW's will turn in their own family and friends to the elders. Think of the Gestapo fear-based tactics and loyalty to the Fatherland and you have an inkling of how most JW's view their 'responsibility' to show their "love and loyalty" to Jehovah by turning in their fellow JW...its all based on the idea it is a way for them to show their Loyalty to Jehovah and his Organization. You know, I still remember the drama I was in as a 15 year old at the 1987 District Convention titled "Loyally Submitting to Jehovah and His Visible Organization"....it was EXACTLY this same type scenario of who are you going to be loyal to, your family or Jehovah and His Organization. I played the bad girl who was smoking and lying to her family but my "friend" convinced me to come clean to the elders or else she was going to .... wow, hadn't thought of that in many years but it goes to show the guilt techniques used to prompt the unquestioned obedience of the JW masses....

26

Another Newbie

by Drifting Away in

jw
friends

hello, i have been lurking for a while, but discovered ttatt for about 8 months now.

i am trying to fade out, problem is i have a big family i would lose if i got df'ed or da,'ed myself.

my wife knows how i feel, and is not thrilled but i cant hide my feelings.

SpiritualGal08

Hello Drifting Away~Welcome to our forum. Please remember this, the Organization thrives on fear--fear of losing your family and friends, fear of losing your life at Armageddon, fear of losing Jehovah's approval, fear of never doing enough.FEAR, FEAR, FEAR!!! Well, ENOUGH of the FEAR! We were not meant to live in fear nor were we meant to live a life without joy. The life JW's live is one of being an automaton, mind-controlled being told what to think, do, and how to act. Do you REALLY think that is a life of JOY? JOY is one of the FRUITS of the Holy Spirit...how many Witnesses do you observe truly living as one who has the Holy Spirit based on the FRUITS of their lives? Joy is missing from their lives as is LOVE! Is fear really worth living like that?

There are only two options with F.E.A.R.: 1. Forget Everything And Run, or 2. Face Everything And RISE!

Together, we can be the light helping others to see their way out of the darkness that surrounds those still in the organization who see no way out. I encourage you to continue your journey (as you feel comfortable) to reach out and with each step, it will become easier and easier to step into your power, taking back your life. I lost all my life-long friends and my family when I left the organization when I was df'd eight years ago. It has only been in the past year or so that I have fully been able to shake the effects of the mind control with the guilt, shame and fear so I know it is a process. But once I made my stand, allowed myself permission to get off the proverbial fence to take my power back and live MY LIFE, without being concerned with what THEY thought of me, I have truly felt free.I am speaking MY TRUTH. So while it does take time to totally break free for most of us, each step I took along the way, no matter how small, has lead to where I am today...know you are important, and your life is YOURS and you CAN have a relationship with Jesus, the Angels, and God if that is what you desire without being part of the Organization.

I share this not just for you but for everyone who is considering the first steps of mentally disentangling themselves from the bOrg...remember, the magic happens just outside your comfort zone. You must face your fears and decide if you want to spend the rest of your life living in that fear or outside of it...the choice is yours and we are here to support you in your journey.

All the best

5

What should they really do?

by Gratefullyunstuck in

i am now seperated from my jw husband.

he cheated twice on me, once while i was pregnant.

he hasnt been to meetings for approximately 2 years.

SpiritualGal08

Hi Gratefully Unstuck! I faced a similar situation when I was divorcing my JW husband. We were married 18 years and I had had enough of his lies and cavorting with other women. I took what I thought was supporting evidence to the elders of his infidelity, such as emails, phone records, hotel receipts, etc so as to obtain a scriptural divorce. Oh no ma'am, they refused to accept it or even look at it and said unless he came to them to confess, I would NOT get a scriptural divorce and to consider staying with him. Well, I divorced him anyway. After I began dating a "worldly" man a few months later, I went to the elders and said we needed to meet for a judicial committee hearing. I told them that unlike my ex-husband I was not a hypocrite and they were going to have to disfellowship me. They tried for HOURS to get me to repent and I told them that I was done and needed to have this discipline (looking back it was my way of getting out and relieving my mind controlled conscience.) My ex had moved out of state about a year prior to our divorce and was not associating with the Witnesses there. Then after he moved back he switched to another congregation after he began dating a Witness (good thing I freed him so he could move on too, right?). Nothing was ever done to him. The JW'S are so caught up in their Pharasaical rules that they figure out how to dance through the loopholes all this legalistic crap creates.

On a side note, after 7 years and not one elder sheparding call, I get a phone call from the P.O. to come see me. I said yes because I wanted to have them hear my reasons for leaving. They came and had the same rhetoric to return to Jehovah and his true organization, blah, blah, blah. I told them I didn't have a problem with the people of the congregation. My problem was with the Organization and leaders' direction on matters such as molestation, changes in organizational protocols and how they use questionable means to obtain spiritual light to mislead the masses. They asked what I meant. I asked them if they had ever heard of Johannes Greber? They shook their heads no. I said you need to research him because the society used his translation of the Bible to support the NWT translation rendering of John 1:1, and his wife channelled the translation from the spirit world. They looked like I had 3 heads. LOL I also mentioned the dates of '75 and how no reputable scholar accepts the destruction of Jerusalem at 607 BCE and how if they took away that date of 607, then 1914 falls apart. If 1914 falls apart the very foundation upon which JW Organization is built upon crumbles. But before they left, I told them that unlike my ex who is now 'strong in the truth', I had received my discipline from Jehovah and as Psalms says, "For whom Jehovah loves he disciplines." My ex never received his discipline, so what does that tell you about whom is loved by God? LOL Needlesstosay, they were speechless and couldn't get out of my house fast enough.

So just know you can't "make" the elders or family of your cheating husband acknowledge or accept anything other than what the status quo is for them...hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. But it's all good because you are awake and free from their mind control. I promise, it's all going to work out for your good...take care!

21

Suppose I ought to introduce myself.....

by Andy Dufresne in

jw
friends

i've left a couple of semi-"humorous" remarks, but not yet said a proper hello....but firstly thank you, to all, for this site and all its comments.i have been lurking on this site for 4-5 years, awake for 5-6 years and seriously fading for the last 4 years.

i am now "out" and widely considered "out" by the congregation but due being very cautious and playing a very long game, (and having a wife who understand the repercussions of blowing the whistle on the few viewpoints i have discussed with her) i have not been df'd of da'd.

this forum has been a crutch and guide as well as helping me wake - and the humour many on here use has been a welcome relief.

SpiritualGal08

Welcome Andy. Patience is a virtue you have acquired. The best to you!

20

"It's the demons..."

by pale.emperor in

one thing that really frustrates me inside is how quite a few jw's (especially my family) actually believe that demons like to inhabit second hand vases, or clothes etc.

my sister and mother are so bad with this that they wont even talk about it - because even talking about it "brings demons into your home".

so any attempt to show them that it's unscriptural is shut off with, sometimes them literally going "lalalalalalala im not listening".. i used to believe it myself (why wouldn't i?, i was told by my mother and father it was fact).. what i'd like to point out to anyone that would let me debunk it is this:.

SpiritualGal08

I think as a whole the organization was obsessed with demons in the 60's and 70's, and then it seems the obsession dropped off a bit in the 80's and 90's. I think it had something to do with the hard core JW'S like Fred Franz on the writing staff. There's also historical references to early use of necromancy and channelling by the old timers in the organization--not listed in the official history, of course. I've often wondered why the Organization always says to say the name Jehovah to ward off evil spirits but never encourages the use of the name Jesus to do this...makes me wonder whose side they are on...

23

Generation Nonsense in today's WT

by Slidin Fast in

abraham was part of the 9th generation as a descendent of shem.

yet, their lives overlapped by 150 years.

yep, they were of the same generation!

SpiritualGal08

I must admit that my first inkling that something was not right in JW World was the generational change in 1995. It absolutely did not have the ring of truth to it. Ever since then, when they have attempted to put the chaos released from Pandora's Box back in, it's been a helluva mess!

Isnt it more reasonable that Jesus was talking about the upcoming Roman attack 30 years or so in the future of his discussion with his apostles? This makes sense. This is understandable. This is simple. What JW's have created is a convoluted mess when they opened Pandora's Box trying to go back and make the past fit the scenario they created so as to look as if they had truth. Well, what did Jesus say? "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." And I have been set free....

The truth is the that the JW organization has been playing damage control ever since the days of Russell...time is running out for their crumbling foundation upon which their organization was built.

8

JW Memorial = Black mass

by pleaseresearch in

i've heard this before that what jws do is the same as a black mass.

could someone give me a link, book or evidence to support this please..

SpiritualGal08

I actually pulled up the above referenced black mass Wikipedia article while at this year's Memorial (see my post on what happened to me there...unbelievable).

The idea of rejecting the blood and sacrifice of Jesus never occurred to me while in the organization. It was only years after I left that I read an article about Black Mass and how it is the opposite of Mass celebrating Jesus. It got me to thinking and I began to research the Occult connection to the Watchtower. Some stories seem unbelievable and yet, other stories seem to corroborate the possibility of Watchtower involvement in shocking Occult activities. Seriously, nothing surprises me much anymore when it comes to the Watchtower. Just how far down the rabbit hole you wish to go determines what you "see". Sadly, the majority of JW'S have no clue as to the history of their organization and when you try to share something with them, they respond automatically with 'new light' gibberish.

36

Coming to terms with the Watchtower experience

by Lee Elder in

it is a challenge coming to terms with your experience as a jehovah's witness.

if you were born and raised as a jw, and your parents were true believers, the impact on your life is profound, lasting, and largely negative.

in some cases quite abusive emotionally, spiritually, financially, educationally and yes, even sexually.. i recently watched "trumbo", and was quite moved by dalton trumbo's speech to the screen writers guild in 1970. here is an excerpt that i think is quite relevant to this topic:.

SpiritualGal08

Great thread! Thank you for posting...I really appreciated the point of the 5 stages of grief as this is exactly what I would describe as having occurred when I left/DF'd in 2008. When you lose all the links to the only life you've ever known (I was born into it), the effects are definitely damaging and have to be processed over time. Even though its been years, I, at times, still experience the effects of the whole shame/guilt/you can never do enough syndrome...the confusion of 'what is truth' is definitely one I am continuing to work through.