i just wanted to introduce you all to a new member, he goes by the name of pretender.
he made his first post today, and i am hoping he will continue to come in.
he is a wonderful person and he has alot to offer.
Thanks Dede,
I will look for the Pretender and welcome him. This is such a busy place here anymore, that I'm certain I have not personally welcomed many of the newbies.
Welcome to all the new readers and posters. This is a good healthy place to be. We try not to judge anyone. Most of us have been hurt and humiliated by the WBTS, the "borg" so we are usually sensitive.
You can express yourself and you will be read.
Love and Light,
Karen/Sentinel
Edited by - Sentinel on 26 July 2002 17:47:46
who here has every seen/felt/experienced spooky/ghostly things???
i did a couple of times at an apt.
i lived in when i went to state.
SixofNine,
There just might be something very true about what you said, in that lots of these "spooky" things could be conjured up by our own "thought" powers. The power of suggestion.
I have been doing some research about the human mind, and there are so many powers inside ourselves that we just don't know how to directly tap into. (A few do, but only a very few, and we are even skeptical of them.) Activity like this is beyond the realm of normalicy and acceptability. But perhaps we are just misunderstanding everything....
Supposedly, we originally had powers that just died away through the centuries. (You know, use it or lose it.) Mostly because we stopped using them our of fear. (Again we have the religious dogma telling us things.) We were told they were from demons. Maybe in some heywire mind thing, we do conjure up the things we see, feel, and experience by ourselves. But we are left without an explanation.
However, that does not make them any the less real. They may be more real than we know. We just don't know how to put everything together. Maybe someday soon, we will again know these secrets. Levitation, mind reading, healing, projection, second-sight, prophesying....
Is our Soul separate and apart from our body? Does it live on and stay around for awhile after it leaves the physical shell, because of unresolved issues? Can a Soul become so far from the good during it's journey, that it turns away from the good, away from the light, to live for the bad, the evil? I don't know. But, we do know of cases where "voices" or apparitions have actually saved peoples lives. Where do these warnings come from? Are they actually a part of the person receiving them? Are they deep within the subconscious mind? Do we conjure up our own spooks?
Perhaps right now, it only becomes scary or spooky when we allow our own internal fears to multiply and take control during events that we are unprepared for and we can't explain. Our minds are unfamiliar and unable to process anything abnormal. What do you think? I've heard it said before that young children around the age of puberty are especially vulnerable to these situations. Could it be that this is the age when in times past, those special abilities were originally presented to us as gifts?
Love and Light,
Karen/Sentinel
Edited by - Sentinel on 26 July 2002 17:24:26
at this point in my life i feel very confident that leaving the jws was the best thing for me.
however, 25 years of brainwashing goes a long way.
(for arguments sake) if religion collapsed today, would you feel you made a mistake in leaving the wbts?
This is a very good post. Thank you!
As for my reaction if religion were to become non-existent. Well, for certain, since JW's are part of religion, and I don't agree with, nor promote, any organized or (un-organized) religion myself, I would never consider returning to the Borg.
IMHO I do believe that we are headed for a grand universal awakening in the not too distant future. Those steeped in religious dogma will have a very difficult time with this. Religious leaders, filling their pockets with the sweat and tears of mankind will be shown for what they really are. It will change the world as we know it. Society will be re-born to enlightenment of the grand design and purpose for all things.
Please don't misunderstand me. If a person has a belief and it gives them comfort, I would not judge that belief. It is theirs to make. I am speaking only for myself and how I view things.
When this does occur, there will be some who simply refuse to change. It will be very difficult for them to make the transition. They will be unable to accept any new directive, even if it comes from our creators. They will feel cheated and robbed of many things. They will feel they have sacrificed in vain. They will come to know the great deception and distortion of "following man". They will grind their teeth and throw their money in the streets. (How do you see the Borg handling this?)
I welcome this most loving universal event. I have been waiting for it for a very long time, through my soul's journey to the awakening. This is true spirituality. It is not a person, place or building. It is not religion. No one need fear the callapse of religion. It is meant to be.
Love and Light,
Karen/Sentinel
i have been reading the board today and have noticed alot of ones today are hurting and angry.
my heart goes out as i have been there many times.
it is often hard to focus on the good things in our life when the negative seem to push them out.
Spice,
Your expressions are beautiful. I love to read stuff like this. I've written ever since I can remember. It's a wonderful outlet for emotion.
Also, I keep a personal journal for three separate things: Each day I write exactly how I feel emotionally, how I feel physcially, and the events of the day. I have many years of these writings. They have helped me to get a good picture of "myself" through my emotional reconstruction. I've learned so much from just "taking notes". It's like looking in the mirror a different way.
I used to be a very sad and lonely person. Life had been unfair and cruel to me. I wore the weight of the world on my shoulders. But, life is too short to be in that place. So, I "fixed" myself. I studied my parts, repaired the damage and moved on. But I have my bad days now and then. The difference is, these days, I don't allow myself to dwell on the negatives.
Yes, those negative feelings are normal at times, but when they begin to take over, we just have to give them the boot!
Heaven, your butterfly is beautiful. How did you do that? Very creative. Do either of you paint? Just wondering. I found that to be a good healing outlet as well.
Spice, you're on the right road. You have a healthy attitude. There are so many things in life to enjoy, like you said, the good things, ..Here is something I just now composed. I felt creative because of what you wrote in your post. I will call it "Turning Point"
"The joy of seeing morning light, the pleasant glow of moonlit night..
The melodies of natures song, ..I am listening all day long.
And if I need to have a little cry, ..as rain falls down from the sky...I will...
For I will know within my heart, ... that this is where the lessons start.
Because sometimes we're gonna have a fall...life is like that, after all...But still..
We can get right back up again,.. full speed ahead.... with strength to bend"
We just have to "go with the flow" and learn to survive by being flexable under pressure.
Love and Light,
Karen/Sentinel
Edited by - Sentinel on 26 July 2002 16:34:58
I'm certain this thread of yours is going to get a lot of taps. That's what you wanted right?
Karen
my jw dad called me this morning and told me that he found my jw uncle dead, face-down on the floor in his home.
he's taking it hard.
i was shocked to hear him say that he wanted me to be with the family.
I am so very sorry for your loss Fire. :-( ((((HUGS))))
It is a good thing that your father called you. From what you said about how your uncle was found, he must have died very quickly. So hopefully it was fast and he wasn't in too much pain. The fact that he has asked you to "be with the family" shows he has a loving heart. Try not to worry about how you will be accepted. You have a right to be there, and a right to grieve for a loved one. Try to pull out all those good and happy memories of your relationship with family to get your through this stressful situation.
In the early 80's my dear 94 year old, spry (non JW) grandfather passed away--my mother's father. He and I always corresponded, and I had just sent off a letter to him at his home in Florida. I received a call from a concerned aunt (non JW) She asked me if I was flying down for his funeral. (I knew he had a form of cancer, but was not told it was critical.)
I was totally caught off-guard. She was shocked that my JW mom had not bothered to let me know that my own grandfather had died two days prior. My aunt was so sorry for me that I found out the way I did. She could not understand why my mother had not called me right away. There was no way I could afford to fly down--but I was never given the option to even consider driving down. It was too late. The funeral was that very day.
I was sad, then hurt, then angry. I grieved by myself and I waited to see how long it would take mom to let me know. A letter finally arrived, nearly seven days after the event. It was very matter of fact, and it stated that my letter to grandpa had arrived on the very day he died, so he didn't get to read it. I called her immediately and I let her know the sting of her betrayal to me. She was anticipating my call and handled it like a pro JW. In her own words she told me that "he" was her father, (very possessive) and that because I was no longer a JW, I wasn't privy to know family stuff anymore. (This was her way of attempting to control and hurt me in the worse possible way.)
She told me that she was glad that he had passed away, because now he would wake up in the resurrection, in the new system and have a chance for everlasting life. When he was alive he was a good Christian, but only tolerated mom and her sister speaking to him about their "truth".
Since then, as family members have become very ill or died, she has never let me know anything directly. Other non-JW family members usually end up telling me when I see them. More recently, she has been speaking more openly with me, but only if I make a direct inquiry about the well-being of a certain person.
Even the events in the lives of old JW friends from years ago are not "privy" to me, so she will not let me know of any illness or death. Her reaction is a stiff "well, you didn't want to be a witness anymore, so you are out of the circle". So, where is that genuine Christian love?
So don't let "them" control your feelings. Don't worry about "them". This was your uncle, and this is your father and your family.
I hope everything goes well for you. ((((hugs))))
Karen/Sentinel
i sent my mom a letter not too long ago telling her that i wanted my family back.
well, i got a very unexpected response.
she basically said "no".
Stinky... ((((((((HUGS)))))))
It should never be like this. It's so unnatural. It's called "conditional love".
Do our mothers think this type of behavior is normal or healthy?
They can't listen to their own hearts. How sad. :-(
Karen
who here has every seen/felt/experienced spooky/ghostly things???
i did a couple of times at an apt.
i lived in when i went to state.
Ohhhhhh
Once when I was deeply concentrating with a good book, "someone" laid their hand on my left shoulder. Instinctively, I responded by turning around. There was no one there. I was absolutely alone in the house. Husband out with his buddies. And son, staying overnite with friends.
I was unnerved, and went to get a drink of water. I was frightened, but kept telling myself it must have been my emagination. I went back to reading my book. Then within minutes, someone called my name clearly and softly. K A R E N.......
For so long, I had been told that things like this were only a sign that "demons" were lerking near. But a feeling of great comfort came over me and I wasn't afraid. In fact, I addressed "it" as my guardian angel and thanked "it" for the company.
The book I was reading? Crisis of Conscience, by Raymond Franz
The reason why I remember this so vividly, is that I was "still in". I had not yet made my conclusive decision to leave the org. When that happened, I took it as a sign I was doing the right thing. I really have no idea exactly what happened that night, but it was very real to me.
Karen/Sentinel
i got in as an extra, i start filming tommorow and friday, the movie is called friend of the state or soemthing like that, its about him running for president.
wish me luck..ill post pics when im done.
:)
congratulations
It's nice to see that dreams do come true!
Sentinel
the manageable human.
disassembling personal boundaries.
disassembling personal boundaries clears the way for abusive behavior.
gb,
Great post as always. I suppose we all have questioned ourselves, now that we are "out", as to how we could ever have allowed ourselves to be "taken in" so horribly. It is a crush to us. We feel so used and abused.
Perhaps we fall into it, because we are "used" to being abused. Perhaps we come from an abusive, dysfunctional family already, and fit right into the borg, like the piece of a puzzle. We actually feel comfortable, protected, at peace. We know nothing else.
The problem many have with "coming to a screeching halt", or "stopping", is that usually, family members are inmeshed in the organization. If one member even misses a meeting, the others all try to see what's wrong, or invade the privacy of that person. They do this, not so much because they believe that the person's spiritual life is at stake. They do it because they fear being "abandoned" by the person trying to leave. Does this make any sense?
Long before JW's ever came to our home back in 1959, my mom was an emotional basket case. She was in a very unhappy, unfulfilled marriage, but she was a good woman. She tried really hard and got beaten down over and over. But, she was "used" to existing like that. She passed that behavior, that acceptance on to her children. JW's gave her the attention she needed, but she settled into a "similar marriage" with them. We just followed along as obedient children.
She was afraid of loneliness and had to control us. She made all our decisions for us, even up to the time I left at age 21. The clothes I wore, the style of my hair. She read ALL my mail, before I got home from school/work/service. She had to control us, because dad controlled her and everything else. They didn't drink. They didn't do drugs. And, they thought we had a "normal" family. All of us kids were suffocating. To have the JW's settle in and dictate more control through the organization and our mother, we had no boundaries at all.
When we finally see things in the light, we are hurt, angry, frustrated. We naturally rebel. Sometimes we hurt ourselves further because we don't get healed first before we try to "make things right again". We literally have to re-train ourselves and our thought processes. We have to begin again and that is no easy task. That's why this common bond in places like this Forum do so much good.
I think about all of you on here. I think about the heartache and pain that we all share as this common bond; but I also see the courage, hope, strength, comfort, love, joy and peace that abounds as well. Most all of us are adults. Look how long it took us to "fix" ourselves. And the work still continues.
Children have no choices. Parents decide for them. They are at the mercy of their parents, if their parents don't make wise choices. And, if parents are being damaged by the WBTS, then it trickles right on down. So, that's why there are a heck of a lot of folks out here that are adults trying to fix themselves. They are trying to repair relationships with mates, children, family and friends. Stuff that has been engrained into their minds from tender years and on through the JW experience.
My brother said to me recently that he hasn't met a "normal" family. He doesn't think it's possible or that it could ever exist. Perhaps our society has damaged itself so badly through the years, even without JW influence, that the family unit is falling apart. Add the JW influence, and the mess is only compounded.
Parents bear a great responsibility to try and get it right with themselves. They need to allow their children the freedom to choose. Faith in a peticular belief cannot be "forced". And, what good is attending all the meetings, and "doing" all the right things, if you don't feel it in your heart?
This means, that "children", should not be getting baptized. They should not be told that they will die a horrible death at Armegeddon if they aren't baptised. I've seen posts on here where the person indicates that they have been baptised as young as eleven! That is outrageous.This type of control and removal of bounderies is the practice of cults. Personal choice is gone. Listening to one's own conscience, gone. Inability to make simple choices--even when "it's ok", is gone.......... We've had a lot taken from us.
N ow we are getting it back.
One day at a time, in love.
Karen/Sentinel
Edited by - Sentinel on 24 July 2002 18:29:54
