Alex, hope that you are coping with your loss, we are a helping people here, dealing mainly with the loss of faith in the wt religion, which is a good loss. We dont know how your loss occurred, if it was through a divorce from an unfaithful person, that was a good loss. The reason I agree with Simon and smiddy that this might not be a good place for inviting replies to help you --- is, that some members here have repudiated all restraint that religion imposed on them. some, not all.
You would be better served to expose your plight on a site that caters to those that are totally committed to religious values, strong-three-stranded marriages, "angelic", even pastor / elder supervision. Covit permitting I would recommend the orient, where family values are still strong. start with Luzon island.