i'm debating on when to actually decide and step down as a ministerial servant.
my conscience will no longer allow me to give talks or speak to others in the door-to-door work.. i'm feeling really apprehensive about what i need to do, i know for a fact that my wife is going to be devestated.. .
whats the best way to step down from an appointed position?
Leaner,
Just tell them that the added responsibility of being a MS is too much and that you need to give your attention on other matters (i.e. marriage, family, etc). Nothing more. If they want to talk to you more about and your don't want to, then don't. Don't play their mind games. Don't let them fool you. They've been doing this a lot longer then you have.
people leave the wts,willingly or unwillingly(df).. what was that 'final straw' that told you "that's it...enough is enough..'.
thanks in advance.luv,tina.
'boycott shampoo!
Reading "The Harp of God" and finally seeing what a nut-rod Rutherford was. 1925...LOL! What an ass he made of himself.
first off, i apologize if this subject has been hashed out before or even lately...i haven't noticed it if it has, but i need to ask it now, as it affects my family as i'm sure it does now, or has in the past, affected many of you here.. i have a daughter who is a very active jw, and a very typical one.
if the wts says it, it has to be so...or if she doesn't down deep agree with it, then god will eventually fix it, but for the time being she is supposed to go along with it....etc.
etc.. this is how she feels about df'ing, da'ing and the resulting shunning..even of a close family member, like her brother whom she adores.
Ozzie,
Good post. Yes, that comment on the WT's web site about "not dividing families" gives me a good chuckle. As a matter of fact, this Sunday my kids and I will be attending my cousin's wedding, who is not a JW. My aunt called me and asked why my mother, brother and sister aren't coming to the reception, because when she asked them they were very evasive. So I told her about my being DA'd and what the JW's rules are. She nearly blew a circuit! That's what also goads me. JW's will follow this sick dogma but when asked about it, they always have to hide their actions and beliefs in half-truths.
Regarding your statements on reinstatement, you're right, so much of it simply depends on the elders point of view. Personally I was always librel in voting to reinstate someone whereas another elder that comes to mind almost required a sign from God before extending mercy.
roybatty
first off, i apologize if this subject has been hashed out before or even lately...i haven't noticed it if it has, but i need to ask it now, as it affects my family as i'm sure it does now, or has in the past, affected many of you here.. i have a daughter who is a very active jw, and a very typical one.
if the wts says it, it has to be so...or if she doesn't down deep agree with it, then god will eventually fix it, but for the time being she is supposed to go along with it....etc.
etc.. this is how she feels about df'ing, da'ing and the resulting shunning..even of a close family member, like her brother whom she adores.
Liberated,
>>I feared my daughters would never know that they should leave the org. They haven't yet but I pray for them (even though the Org does not allow them to pray for me!!)<<
Don’t give up on them. My kids are 10 and 7 and are torn about who to follow, their JW mom or me. My gut is telling me that they’ll completely leave the JW when they become teenagers. However, I do worry. I think to myself “what if they get baptized?” “what if they pioneer?” etc. But then I remember that I left when I was 31 years old and an elder! Anyway, to me it’s a uncommon for kids of JWs to remain JWs and even more uncommon of JWs kids to remain one if they have a non-JW parent in their life guiding them away from this cult.
Roybatty
if you had to name one, what would be the happiest day of your life so far?.
mine would have to be the day that i first met justin in person.
that was the day i was positive that we'd spend our lives together.. that was also the day i knew that i was really free of the borg, for good.. anyone feel like telling?.
Two "happiest" days...the day my son was born and the day my daughter was born. Simply amazing.
when i sit at a ca and the bro comes out and reads the financial report it is alwasy in the red (deficit).
then i ask myself: "if we own this building, the parking area, and there is no food being served; how in the world can we have a deficit?
" typically, the deficit is in the range of $5000 and $7000.
Pathofthorns,
Maybe I'm wrong, but I remember that CA and DC were differnt with handling contributions. I recall that our circuit had a savings account for contributions and in it we kept 10's of thousands of dollars. It was kept there for emergency repair to the Assembly Hall or when we needed to some project to the Assembly Hall. This is differnt then the DC were the Society makes the meeting arrangements, rented the stadium and there was no need to keep a fund. So all the surplus goes to Crooklyn.
when i sit at a ca and the bro comes out and reads the financial report it is alwasy in the red (deficit).
then i ask myself: "if we own this building, the parking area, and there is no food being served; how in the world can we have a deficit?
" typically, the deficit is in the range of $5000 and $7000.
From what I recall, after Saturday’s program was over there would be an elder’s meeting for the elder’s in the circuit. Sitting at the head of the room was the CO and next to him the brother who kept the books and the brother who was acting as chairman. This was a business meeting. The chairman would start the meeting then the CO would share a few words, then turn it back to the chairman. The chairman would go over such things as projects going on at the Assembly Hall, such as repairs and such. Then he’d turn it over to the accounts brother. He would go over the books and almost always we had a surplus. Then the chairman would ask the brothers if we’d like to send some of this money to the Society. There would be an open discussion and then a vote. I recall that the first couple of times that I went to this meeting, it was pretty much automatic that money would be sent to the Society. But the last couple of meeting I attended, there were some objectors but in the end everyone voted to send the Society money. We’d typically send the Society four or five thousand after each Circuit Assembly. Then at the next CA there would be an anouncement that we needed money and the whole process started over again.
Like the song says “money for nothing and your checks for free.”
makena1 spoke about a co who was a fan of the detroit pistons and he went on:"this same co (perhaps a do years later) was removed because he was caught or finally admitted that he had been consorting with prostitutes.
apparently he paid for this from gifts given to him by wealthier brothers.
does this ring a bell for anyone?
I recall one CO telling us (the elder body) about either a JC or two elders doing a sheperding call (can't recall which he said it was)raping a sister. This sister told her parents but they didn't listen. Then, to add insult to injury, they later had her DF'd. Came out years later when one of the elders fessed' up. One of the sickest things I ever heard.
i just learned about the society's connection with the un and i'm shocked.
i had been experiencing doubts before but this new information is like a slap in the face.
before i begin with the questions i should probably start with a introduction.. i'm a 29 year old married man serving as a minsterial servant in the south suburbs of chicago.
Leander,
>>Roybatty - At this point I'm not sure if I even want to remain married.<<
I know where you’re coming from. My then wife was snooping through my desk one day and found all of my “apostate” literature (Crises of Conscience, internet stuff, etc). She took it out in back and burned it all! She then called the elders and expressed her concern that I was a “spiritual threat” to her. Dam, I was pissed at her! My feeling toward her was “ok, you want to throw away our marriage, fine, let’s do it.” Looking back, I can see that both her and I made our decision based upon emotions. But once you “get the ball rolling” it’s hard to stop it. I’m just not 100% sure that it was the right decision. I can’t tell you what to do, all I can suggest it to really, I mean REALLY think about divorce and what it will mean. I know what you’re feeling about never living on your own, being steered away from college, etc, I went through the same deal. Heck, I even quit college with only a 1-1/2 years left. But just remember that your wife is brainwashed, she’s doing what she thinks is right. Just don’t make a decision that you’ll later regret. If you want to e-mail me, please feel free to.
roybatty
i just learned about the society's connection with the un and i'm shocked.
i had been experiencing doubts before but this new information is like a slap in the face.
before i begin with the questions i should probably start with a introduction.. i'm a 29 year old married man serving as a minsterial servant in the south suburbs of chicago.
Leander,
Wow, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I was raised “in the truth”, married a pioneer and even pioneered myself. A couple of years ago, I was in the exact position you are now in but I was an elder. BTW, I’m in the western suburbs of Chicago. I’ve been to the southern burbs a few years back giving public talks. Anyway, one thing that you did that was the right decision was talking to your wife about it. You were honest with her and she has to admire that. I, on the other hand, kept it a secret for too long and it eventually lead to us parting ways. I’m sure that you don’t want a divorce, so continue to be open and honest with her. On the other hand, you aren’t under any obligation to share your feelings or findings with the elders. Once they figure out that you’ve discovered the real truth about the WT, they will have one goal and that is to “protect the flock.” If you decided to follow the real truth, you’ll be faced with a decision, should you go out with a bang or a whisper? Since I was an elder so my actions were closely watched and when I was DA’d it was partially as a warning to others. You’ll have to decide what’s best for yourself. Again, prepare yourself mentally for “attacks” by the elders. You’ll be surprised that people (and family) whom you’ve known all your life will turn their back on you or even “attack” you.
Be strong and hold to you convictions. To put it bluntly, the WT has lied to you for years and you should be pissed about it. However, don’t bombard your wife with too much information all at once. A little bit at a time is much easier to swallow. Also, don’t just study up on anti-JW stuff. There are some really good, non-JW Bible based literature out there that will open you some new and exciting ideas. Good luck! (lol! I remember when I couldn’t say that)
roybatty
