My aha moment occurred several years after being dfd. I was actually sincerely attempting to return and get reinstated. I decided that to do so I wanted pure motives I wanted to do so out of love for Jehovah. So I determined along with my wife to start reading the new testament. I did so without reading any wt info. I also did so with an open mind. I started with acts, by the time I was in Romans, ny eyes were opened to how hypocritical the wts is. I was shocked at how wrong they were in the hope for the future, I only read of a heavenly hope, no alluding to earth at all. I was struck by the freedom that was preached about and how rules and regulations and human opinions were discouraged. I realized that the whole process was warped, hypocritical, unloving, and unscriptural. I determined I could not subject myself to their pharisaical court and practices.
After this things moved rapidly. I read CoC, searched the web and discovered UN situation, then jw facts, jw survey, jw struggle, then JWN. Ive not looked back since. I feel so much happier and fulfilled and have zero regrets.