some family moved in across the street a few months ago.
i have never talked to them.
all i know about them is what the other neighbors had to say.
Incense,
I know Phoenix well.. Central, Van Buren, Indian School, etc. I grew up in Scottsdale, AZ. my father has a house there, we moved from Scottsdale to N.C.
I think anywhere you go, you got neighbors with potiential for irrational behavior. It is when it gets dangerous, that it is frightening.
X.
some family moved in across the street a few months ago.
i have never talked to them.
all i know about them is what the other neighbors had to say.
Let's see where to begin...
How about a drug bust where the FBI is chasing our neighbors and putting them down face forward in the mud with a gun to thier head in from of the kitchen/dining area and we all are at the table for dinner in shock...b/c we have a ring side view. We ended on the floor in panic, until one of us peeked and saw FBI on the back of the jacket.
That summer was a busy one! For one of the neighbors across the street, told his g/f he was going to get milk for the baby. He got the milk and much more... he robbed a bank while he was at it. Swat, FBI, all surrounded the apartment complex across from us. Sirens, guns, the works.
We would have neighbors who would come and drink on the lawn that was by our apartment area, on a every other day bases. They would leave thier trash, bottles and harass people. We had a bottle thrown through our glass plate window, missing us, but spraying glass through the front room. OOh that was interesting indeed!
Or how about a neighbor who is a peeping tom. My cousin and I had the fun of freaking out on that one. He was peeking in our window! We just came out of the shower, he was not picking prickers out of his johnson... that is for sure! He was caught thank goodness.
People breaking in who were "neighbors". I guess they were just dropping by for a visit and to pick up a few things too. Did not matter that it did not belong to them. After all they needed that fix.
A next door neighbor who stabbed his wife and left the bloody machette knife on our bedroom outside window ledge, as he fled.
My sisters and I, have seen fist fights, stabbings, drug overdoses, one where the person was thrown into the trash can and would have died, if we did not act. Drug deals, in our laundry room, people flipped out due to PCP, etc.
That was the neighborhood in Fullerton we grew partially up in, and only a few of the "adventures" we encountered. It is pretty bad to know the officers by first name, because they have been out to our neighborhood so much.
Of course we were told that we were blessed to live in these areas. Jehovah protected us, because we were there to help them. Okkkkay... help them how? We were children.
There were some people we met that were good people, but just had really screwed up lives. But all in all, why subject your children to these horrors? Don't we grow up fast enough?
X.
i thought i'd pose a question especially (but not exclusively) for the girls regarding sexual harassment.
what would you deem as unfitting behaviour?.
is it appropriate for a guy to ask if you are wearing any panties?
No, should mean "NO". If a woman can said it, shouldn't a man be able too? Harassment, can range on a lot of things. From making someone feel uncomfortable to all out hazing behavior.
Assertive conversation or asserting yourself by telling the person to stop, is one way of trying to stop that harassment. There are risks to this too. Some people feed off the excitment of the chase, they have some sort of thrill out of it. They take the "no" as playing hard to get. An the behavior esculates.
Where the harassment happens is when a person chooses to ignore the boundaries and continues in the behavior that is causing the other person to be uncomfortable~ even out right humiliation. No one has the right to demean another person. Why cause someone emotional, mental, even physical pain?
There is nothing wrong with asserting yourself and going after what you want in life, as long as you know boundaries and respect personal space, feelings, and so on. It should be a common sense thing, unfortunately there are some who ignore the boundaries.
I know that there are some out there who get off on cause people embarassment or think that it enhances their personality by acting out in this type of behavior. To many it is about control, how they perceive other people view this behavior. They think it is "cool" it makes them the "man" or the "woman", for that matter. When it just makes them abusive.
It is a major turn off when someone decides to act out like this. Anyone who is a victim of this behavior has the right to try to stop it. Sadly, sometimes it means making changes in the victim's lives. Harassment is an ugly thing anyway you slice it. It is a rape and betrayal of trust. That is just how I see it.
Xandria
did anyone else see or hear of jake plummer flipping the bird to national audiences in the denver/miami game?
i think jake has some real issues base on what i've been reading in the local papers and such...
An people wondered why he was called Jake the Snake Plummer in AZ ?
X.
ok all, my lovey and i are planning for the first song of our wedding to come after our vows are spoken, the ceremony ends, and he and i are going back down the aisle and into the house.
we want everyone to follow us in order from the first row back, and we'll go in and cut the cake.
thing is, we want a song to start as we head back down the aisle.
Time in a bottle, sis ? What do you think.
Muwah!
X.
i have followed mario's tragic story from the beginning.
especially in this last battle he is in i have respected very much all your advice to him, especially xandria, who seems to have people at her availability with a lot of experience in this field.. mario is certainly dealing with it very well.
what i liked mostly about all your advice regarding marina is that you encouraged him to keep control of marina legally but also let her believe she has freedom to do what she wants right now.
Formerout:
It really sounds like you are going to have to build a case, showing the intent of your ex's filings of complaints. Document everything! I cannot stress that enough because you are literally fighting for the lives of your children. She is abusing the system to discredit you. This is something you can use to your advantage, by showing a distinct and damaging pattern. To have it back fire upon her, in court you must prove she cannot see beyond her own personal vendettas against you, that she is allowing harmful interactions, (ie: Your ex-battle-ax-m-in-law and abuses). The proof that these actions are having a serious impact on your children?s mental and emotional health is necessary.
You have to show patterns and consequences of these patterns on your children?s behaviors, etc. Instead of concentrating on the welfare of her children, she is harming their emotional and mental welfare, by creating a hostile environment between the children and their father.
Best resources: http://www.fathersrightsinc.com
http://www.co.bannock.id.us/prosecutor/child_custody_interference.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/NJ/ARTICLES/jessani11.html
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/custodyassessments.htm
http://www.horizons.uc.edu/expertadviceMay02/tips22Pedro-Carroll.htm
http://www.nebpsych.org/content/childcust.html
http://www.hps-ce.com/pl/pubjoint.htm
http://www.apa.org/practice/childcustody.html
http://www.divorce-lawyer-child-support.com/child/psychologists-experience.htm
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0465023622/002-9805045-7572009?v=glance
(book)
http://www.canlaw.com/rights/fathers.htm
http://www.themenscenter.com/National/national06.htm
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/2776/godfear.html
http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/life_topics/article/6802/113/The+Family+and+Mental+Health
Parent Alienation a must read on many levels: http://www.familycourtvictims.com
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm
http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/info_pas.htm
http://www.rgardner.com/pages/32.html
http://www.parentalalienation.com/PASdirectory.htm
*** http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/pas.htm
http://www.reenasommerassociates.mb.ca/a_parent.html
http://www.4therapy.com/locator
Unfortunately in some custody battles, either both or one parent fails to think of the child's point of view, they are watching their parents pit against each other. Even use them by building guilt for ?loving? one parent more, manipulations, etc. It is sad to see a parent do this willfully, regardless of the mental and emotional impact this will have on the child. Especially, since the child learns relationship patterns from their parents and grandparents. There is no easy path to this problem.
What you are going to have to stress is that this behavior your ex-wife is exhibiting is a danger to the well being of your child. You are going to have to play the game. If a lawyer is too expensive perhaps a mediator can help work out the details. But these things are going to have to be address in legal and defined terms, so they cannot be abused or misused.
I have seen some cases where there is a contractual parenting agreement. Where every thing and I stress everything is spelled out to the letter. The parent gets two chances to make "mistakes" the third will end up in consequences for failure or breech of the contractual clause. Some times, that is the ONLY way to force a parent to ?play nice? lest they lose visitation for a while or even worse, custody; if it goes too far.
Children's Aid or CPS here, unfortunately they are over worked and do not always enact when they need to especially when one parent is abusing the system to "revenge" or "get back at" the other parent. They don't want to separate the family anymore than it is. But you must stress to your case worker that the lack of action on their side, is having a toll on your children. If they do not enact, then I would suggest a consultation with a therapist who specializes in divorce issues. Especially with the impacts, these attacks are having on the family dynamics. This will help document your case further, with a professional evaluation and then you could bring it up again in an assertive mediation.
I hope the resources above, help you find the path that is right for you to move forward in a decisive manner. Prepare yourself and educate yourself on the options. It will make for a stronger parent, case, and help your children pull through this difficult time, with out too much anxiety.
Regards,
X.
it seems to me that a recurring theme for exiting witnesses is not their questions of faith (most have researched mightily before coming here, or had their own crisis of conscience), but the lack of fellowship that will happen if they leave.
it feels good to be part of a group, to feel wanted and needed.
the problem arises when that fellowship is not based on you as a person, but by what image you present, or how much you "produce".
Ah! My sister is on to it. Remember the people we had growning up ? We adopted people like Grandma Bertha and Ralph. We spent time learning and listening. We chose our family because the ones we had did not choose us. I think in a way sis, that opened us up to new possiblities.
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo.
I will call you, I can't wait to tell you what I found on Amazon.
Love,
X.
.
after doing battle with the sellotape and tearing my lip (oh the dangers of xmas present wrapping) and staying up late to pack, i'm finally heading on my way towards seattle.... catch some of you guys sooner rather than later.. be good, now .
Sunny don't feel bad about being stuck on the east coast so am I. Until May. Come HELL or high water I am determined to be at my sister's wedding.
X.
if u like cranberries - try this.
1 - 14 oz can of pitted cherries,tart.
1- 14 oz can of cranberry sauce with whole berries.
2/3 cup long-grain (not converted) rice
3 cups milk
3/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs, separated
1/8 cup of red and green M&M;'s
double boiler, medium-size mixing bowls, small-size mixing bowl, wire whisk, deep serving dish.
Thanks for the Holiday Recipe..
X.
well, i need inspiration for my wedding this coming may.
i want to have a nature themed wedding, with sage green being the primary color.
i haven't decided if i want to go woodsy, beach-y, or what have you.
Tamar,
You know mom always had unique names for us. Especially when she ran all of our names together to call us.
X.
