Posts by outoftheorg

60

Me and my brother.

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

an earlier discussion has been highlighting the differences between da'ing and df'ing.

xena said:i am sorry qadreena but i have never in the 20 some odd years i have been a jw ever heard of an unbaptised publisher being d/aed...marked as bad association yes..but d/a...no...but i guess stranger things can happen.... well that brought it all back.. actually xena the exact same thing happened to my brother in the early 80's.

he was only 14. he'd carried on associating with a friend of his who'd been disfellowshipped.

outoftheorg

Yes Teejay-Nic.-Comf.

It seems that life is filled with oportunities for happiness or despair. We will have enough of the despair without the corroding expeience of a cult. Add the insanities of the jw world and it will be a life filled with confusion grief guilt and anger.

Being the imperfect humans that we are, one needs to realize that there will be mistakes and as we ought to forgive those that cause us grief we owe the same thing to ourselves.

However we ought never forget the mistakes and be careful to never repeat them. But as imperfect as we are we will always make some mistakes. So the opportunity to apologize will also always be there for us.

I have some of the same issues and sadness you all spoke of so I have at least some understanding of what you are going through.

I know from experience that some of that sadness can be lifted with time and living free of the cult atmosphere. I wish you all, all of the good things that life has to offer and I admire you all for your honesty and acceptance of the mistakes you made.

Outoftheorg

Edited by - outoftheorg on 5 November 2002 11:51:53

20

I've never met a JW who had confidence....

by MegaDude in

jw
friends

....about their beliefs.

've talked with many jws since i began having doubts years ago:.

sincere publishers.

outoftheorg

Lack of confidence and fearful of the possible outcome.

The outcome? You may prove them wrong. Can you imagine the cognitive dissonance you are creating in these people when you use logic to attack their beliefs.

They hold fast to the 'beliefs" with "faith" in the org. Even though deep in their mind they have doubts. These doubts must be dispelled or they will lose their cherished beliefs. YOU are strengthening the doubts and weakening their beliefs. This causes a low grade panic which will increase the longer you are allowed to attack with logic.

Fight or flight issues come up in the mind of the "believer" Since they can not fight the logic and win They will attack you or your sources of information or run away.

Before they do one or both of these they endure the fear and panic of loseing the beliefs they can not succesfully defend.

Outoftheorg

25

Have you ever sprung anyone??

by kelpie in

how is this.... i started working for a company in sydney while still a witness.

i moved from a little country town to there so didnt know a soul.

well the receptionist that worked with me was very loud and out going and used to swear quite a bit.. but i started picking up signals as you do when your a witness that this girl was also a witness.

outoftheorg

Well I sprung myself once.

I heard a knock at the door, opened it and saw a very large sheriffs deputy standing there. He asked my name and told me he had a warrant for my arrest. Having been a deputy myself some years before I knew the routine but was shocked as I had no idea what was going on.

I asked who had signed the warrant and it was a judge that neither the deputy or I had ever heard of and no reason was on the warrant that made any sense. Well I ended up in cuffs and in the back seat cage of his car and driven off to jail. I took a few hundred dollars in travelers checks with me.

During the booking routine in the jail I asked the jailer if the warrant made any sense to him. He looked at it and called his supervisor, yelling out loud " I think we got an innocent man here ". That set all the inmates to laughing and whistleing as this is done a lot with people who end up staying in jail.

The supervisor came out and read the warrant and said "well I don't have the college education to understand all this crap" WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?. I said I don't think I have done anything, do you know this judge? He said no he did not. I told him I had a divorce in process and he asked me about the travelers checks. I said they were for child support." He said it looks like this judge whoever he is is trying to send you a message of sorts".

He made a few phone calls and found out nothing. Then he says take these checks and go home until we get an answer.

I went home and called my divorce lawyer and told him the story. He thought for a while and then tells me HE MADE A COURT DATE, FORGOT TO CALENDAR IT AND DID NOT NOTIFY ME OR SHOW UP IN COURT . I kept my cool and asked that since he did not show up, why wasn't he arrested? He said he may be arrested.

The judge was an old man that had retired and was called back to the bench to fill in for another judge that was sick. So no one remembered him and I think that his age was part of the confusion on the warrant.

I refused to pay my lawyer what I owed him and got another lawyer.

That is my story on getting sprung .

Outoftheorg

60

Me and my brother.

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

an earlier discussion has been highlighting the differences between da'ing and df'ing.

xena said:i am sorry qadreena but i have never in the 20 some odd years i have been a jw ever heard of an unbaptised publisher being d/aed...marked as bad association yes..but d/a...no...but i guess stranger things can happen.... well that brought it all back.. actually xena the exact same thing happened to my brother in the early 80's.

he was only 14. he'd carried on associating with a friend of his who'd been disfellowshipped.

outoftheorg

Hello Nic.

It is obvious that you are a good man and an honest man. Forgive yourself for any of this situation that still lingers in your mind. Your brother also sounds like a good and honest man to tolerate with grace the attempts of the older jw's that try to renew contact and to accept your attempt at reuniting with him.

Your post was clear and descriptive. So much so that it brought tears to my eyes.

I wish you all the very best and hope that the lost years and those bad memories will fade away. To leave you with the new memories of a family reunited and its pleasures.

Outoftheorg

80

SHE LEFT ME!

by Yerusalyim in

jw
friends

my wife, liza, came home from work this morning (she was doing the 3rd shift thing) and said she was leaving me.

this afternoon at 1 pm i took her to the bus station.

at 4:20 pm she was off to nyc.

outoftheorg

Hello Yeru.

Sorry to hear of your situation. Sudden like that makes it hard to grasp. Like others here say, take things one at a time and do not do anything in a big rush. this will all work out in the end. It just takes time. It could be the opening of another door to lots of new oportunities.

Outoftheorg

14

I don't feel so good :(

by Queenie45 in

jw
friends

i have been talking with a nurses assistant in retirement and she says that the last nine months with all these leg ulcers, the meds.

i have been taking, the three weeks in the hospital, etc.

has finally all caught up with me and i feel like crap!.

outoftheorg

Hello Queenie>

Here's hoping you get to feeling better real soon. An extended time with problems like you describe can put a strain on the body and mind and finally one feels just worn out for a time. It's a real bummer isn't it.

Keep in touch with your doctor and the friend nurse and follow their suggestions.

Hang in there girl.

Outoftheorg.

42

What's Your WORST Vice???

by minimus in

jw
friends

now that you no longer have any real restrictions, have you allowed yourself to do something "naughty"?

what's your worst vice?

outoftheorg

What is my worst vice?

Take your pick.

Use the internet to go to apostate forums.

Holding an elder by the shirt front and threatening physical harm.

Fornication after being df'd and divorced and told I could not remarry. To which I laughed.

Backing the elder that molested my daughter around a room begging him to hit me so I could beat him to a pulp in front several witnesses.

All of these vices were the reactions to vices used on me by the wbts.

A vice for a vice. Isn't that in the bible some place?

Outoftheorg

12

Venting #&(#!

by Tashawaa in

jw
friends

i'm getting that religious people realllly get on my nerves - no matter how "well meaning" they are.

i read in one of the posts some advice to the newly "ex'd" and i appreciated it, especially the point how other's may want to "save" you now that you've left your religion.. get this... i work with 2 born-agains and my boss is a mormon.

they've all made some comments about that "i shouldn't let this experience destroy my faith in jesus" (tolerable, assuming i believed in him) however, one co-worker has a new zeal for her born-again faith and has raised many topics with me because she respects my opinion.

outoftheorg

Yes Tashawaa.

I agree with your opinions of God putting special blessing and protection on some.

But You missed the one that irritates me a lot. Give them a rational question or explanation on something and the reply is But You Must Have Faith!! And they smile at me. It is that damned self righteous smile that gets to me.

Reminds me of the story of the guy that fell off a cliff. He grabs a bush growing out of the cliff and hangs on. He starts some heavy duty praying to God. Finally God answers and says "just let go".

They guy keeps on praying and again God says" just let go" the guy says if I let go I will die. Again God says "You must have faith just let go".

There is a long pause and finally the guy says " Is there anyone else up there?

Outoftheorg

22

Will God intervine?

by kelsey007 in

jw
friends

or is this life on earth only a testing or proving ground for an eternal life elsewhere?

as jw's we were taught that god will intervine in the world and bring the earth to a unified state under a theocratic government.

so, is man capable of maintaining the earth without intervention from a "higher source"?

outoftheorg

I agree jim.

I hope God has something in mind also. My use of my own guidelines is more along what I believe is right and good such as the {essence} of the 10 comandments and not so much on all of the possible requirements that is suggested by various interpretations of the bible. I kind of use the thought that if I can not truly help someone I can at least leave them alone. That may be what they really need.

I can not see the point of having concern about world events I have absoloutly no influence on. Other than to prepare for the possible results if that is in my power.

Outoftheorg vent vent.

22

Will God intervine?

by kelsey007 in

jw
friends

or is this life on earth only a testing or proving ground for an eternal life elsewhere?

as jw's we were taught that god will intervine in the world and bring the earth to a unified state under a theocratic government.

so, is man capable of maintaining the earth without intervention from a "higher source"?

outoftheorg

Will God intervene or will the world come to an end you ask.

Kelsey I have been bombarded by conflicting answers to that question for most of my life. Mostly answers to questions I did not ask. ALL of them "the answers, proved false and useless" I heard the idiotic statement "you must have faith" so many times that if someone else tells me that I may do terrible things to them.

To all of these questions and others on the same subject I reply, I don't give a rats ass. I intend to live my life out using my own guidelines of conduct and just enjoy the hell out of everything I encounter that does not kill me.

If these questions do truly trouble you I hope you find a satisfactory way of coping. I am not degrading you or your post. I just had to get this thought out of my mind and on Paper? no I guess just post it. Maybe this is my way of venting.

Outoftheorg