TBK; How would you advice someone who had woken up and now found themselves in this situation?
I think it would help those in such a situation.
My thought initially has to deal with the age of the child. In the OP it is mentioned her child is a toddler. When the children are pre-school aged it is not as big of a deal as once they are old enough to start school. One of my children in first grade when I completely stopped being a Witness. The next school year (2nd grade) he was fully involved in all activities. He doesn't even remember much of life as a Witness. He knows we were Witnesses and can't remember any more. My youngest just started high school. He just learned we used to be Witnesses for the first time last week.
It becomes an issue once the child starts forming lasting memories (around 5) and starts to be social with children (usually at school). This is where I would recommend the parent who is no longer a Witness to take the following approach with the parent who is still a Witness -
- You may take the child to the meetings, assemblies, conventions, and field service. I will even help get our child ready.
- Once our child gets old enough to start making some decisions on his/her own, let our child decide what he/she will participate in. Encourage your child to go to the meetings from time to time. It is still an opportunity to spend time with his/her father and bond.
- If our child has questions we both will answer what we believe the answer is. If our answers are contradictory we will simply let our child know that most people do not agree on everything, but they still love one another. Teach the child it is important to respect people regardless of their beliefs. Let the child know they have the freedom to find out for themselves life's answers.
- Remind the Witness spouse that many Jehovah's Witnesses were raised around the religion, but chose to be a Witness as an adult. Ask - "Would you rather our child to choose to worship Jehovah as an adult using his/her own freewill or would you rather force your beliefs on our child, possibly making him/her resent the religion?"
I remember my last Memorial. My wife refused to go. One of our children was pleading to go. My wife approved of me going and taking our children. It was during that very Memorial that I realized that Jehovah's Witnesses did not have "The Truth". The next day I visited this website for the first time.