I too didn't accept the whole non-violence thing growing up as a JW. The Watchtower finds a scripture and then stretches it past rational thinking into a doctrine. I found it hypocritical to say the least that a Witness would have no problem calling the police if an axe murderer was trying to kick the front door of their house in knowing full well that those police officers may shoot and kill the suspect, but you couldn't own a gun to protect yourself or family.
What I learned during the end of my fade - Romans 13:1-7 is referred to as the "Police Officer Scripture" by many churches. If God gives the earthly authorities a sword to use and expects them to use it for our benefit, to the point of calling them his "ministers," how is it wrong to carry a weapon as a police officer?
About ten years later I read this book that showed me something in plain sight - Luke 3:10-14
10 And the crowds were asking him: “What, then, should we do?” 11 In reply he said to them: “Let the man who has two garments* share with the man who has none, and let the one who has something to eat do the same.”+ 12 Even tax collectors came to be baptized,+ and they said to him: “Teacher, what should we do?” 13 He said to them: “Do not demand* anything more than the tax rate.”+ 14 Also, those in military service were asking him: “What should we do?” And he said to them: “Do not harass* anybody or accuse anybody falsely,+ but be satisfied with your provisions.”* - NWT
So, here the crowd was asking Jesus what they need to do to gain salvation. In the crowd were soldiers who asked as well. Did Jesus say, "Put down your sword, your spear, and your javelin and follow me"? No! Jesus told the soldiers to quit shaking down the citizens and be content with the provisions the military gives them.
Then the first gentile to convert to Christianity - Cornelius. Notice, Peter is sent to Cornelius who is converted on the spot. Cornelius was a Roman military officer. Where did Peter tell Cornelius he had to resign his commission and give up military like? That's right - he didn't!
Yet, the Watchtower forces active duty military members to be discharged before they are allowed to be a Witness.
With all that being said, late in life I have seen the benefit of non-violence and have accepted it. I won't allow innocent people to be harmed. There is not path to peace. Peace is the path.