@ DarioKehi
I am sorry to hear about all the heart ache and pain you went through all of your life. I am happy to see you are finding your way and the guilt is gone. We all understand the pain of loosing friends and loved ones. I really do admire you for trying to keep your relationship open with your parents and not DAing yourself. I believe DAing yourself is playing right into the GB/Borgs hands. I will never do it. I could see how pretending to be active can kill a person inside. I tried it for a short while than quickly stopped. I figured I was better off being inactive, that way, if I got into trouble, maybe they would ignore me like I have seen them ignore so many others. If you are pretending to be a JW and then you get caught doing whatever... you could be DFed real fast. I am sure you know all of this stuff. I told my family I get severe panic attacks when I go to the Hall and I really do. I can't sit through it anymore. I just want to get up and scream, "Your all a bunch of False Prophets!" I sit there thinking about saying things like that and I feel a real urge to do it, so I got to walk out before I break out in rage. We are not "mentally diseased" we are mentally abused, each and every one of us.
Best wishes and I hope you find peace in your life soon,
Greybeard
Peace out
and out of posts for now! Hit the limit again darn it!