Msconcerned,
I am NOT an apostate….i have not turned my back on Jehovah.
There are a lot of people here that are not apostate, even though we sometimes say we are in a tongue-in-cheek way; certainly the Society would say that anyone here is apostate simply because we recognize problems with the Organization, and we're never supposed to question God's Organization.
Some here absolutely believe in God and Jesus, while others are agnostic or athiest, and still others haven't clearly decided what to believe.
I have personally come to value the diversity of thought and opinion that is found here because it opens you up to concepts not considered before. I hope you come to apprecdiate it too.
BTW, the resources that can be found here regarding Wathtower teachings are amazing!