Posts by Cicatrix

23

Need help with info on homeschool

by skeeter1 in

anyone know how to homeschool a 9th grader?

need information on groups to join, software, books, etc.

skeeter.

Cicatrix

I recommend Saxon math. My children used it when we homeschooled, and they were way ahead when they decided to go to public school.

I DO NOT recommend Pearblossom Private School in California. It is a correspondance school run by a Jehovah's Witness. When my child returned to public school, I requested a transcript as the public school had asked that I do so for evaluation. Pearblossom NEVER SENT IT, and would not return my phone calls. We had paid tuition in full, and part of the service for the plan we chose WAS transcripts.

84

Longtime JWD posters/professional lurkers with low post counts

by Black Man in

jw
friends

hey all,.

just checkin' in.

been here since '01, but don't even have 500 posts.

Cicatrix

Yup.

I used to LIVE here when I was first leaving, lol. Then I got busy with trying to create some sort of life after DAing myself, and didn't come here for a long time.

Now I find myself popping back in here from time to time for "maintenance" when I encounter problems I think are related to being involved with the JWs for twenty years.I tend to search other people's posts more than post myself, though. I usually can find something that relates to whatever I'm dealing with.

Plus, I like to come and see how everyone is doing:)

53

For mother's out there...cleaning a son's bedroom!

by restrangled in

jw
friends

my son is twenty years old, a good kid, is doing great in college so i usually keep the door closed to his bedroom so i don't have to look.

today he took out a huge batch of laundry for me to do and the odor from that bedroom had me reeling.. here is my humorous but deadly serious post on the matter:!!!!!.

after vacuuming, enough dust to fill the entire dust bin in the vacuum.. enough change on the floor to keep him in fast food for a week.....(don't ask me for money).

Cicatrix

My fourteen came up to me yesterday when I got home from yet another grueling day of nursing school and said "There's no clean towels."

I looked at him and said "You've got two hands."

"Yeah?" he replied

"You know where the buttons are on the washer and dryer, right?"

"Duh."

"Okay-you just woke up from napping all day, and I've been up since 5:30 doing school stuff."

"But there's no towels..."

"I taught you how to sort and wash laundry when you were ten."

"Yeah..."

"So...?"

Big sigh from him. "Yeah, I know-do it myself"

Bingo

53

For mother's out there...cleaning a son's bedroom!

by restrangled in

jw
friends

my son is twenty years old, a good kid, is doing great in college so i usually keep the door closed to his bedroom so i don't have to look.

today he took out a huge batch of laundry for me to do and the odor from that bedroom had me reeling.. here is my humorous but deadly serious post on the matter:!!!!!.

after vacuuming, enough dust to fill the entire dust bin in the vacuum.. enough change on the floor to keep him in fast food for a week.....(don't ask me for money).

Cicatrix

As a mom of four sons, including a twenty year-old, my advice to you is:

close the door to keep the stench in and ignore it

after a year or so when the stench finally hits their nostrils and they have nothing left to put on, something magic happens

THEY CLEAN IT THEMSELVES

Or they meet a girl they want to impress. Or in the case of my middle son-the girl comes over and tells them to clean the pigsty

LOL

37

Goodbye, my sweet sister

by sweetface2233 in

jw
friends

i was raised as a witness and have been miserable for my entire existence.

i have hated every moment of it.

after about 10 years of struggling, i decided 2 years ago that i was done w/ the charade and wasn't going to return to the meetings.

Cicatrix

Sweetface,

I recommend going to the Best of section and reading about WTS control issues. I tried to cut and paste some of the links for you that I found helpful, but my mouse is worn out and won't let me do it.

37

Goodbye, my sweet sister

by sweetface2233 in

jw
friends

i was raised as a witness and have been miserable for my entire existence.

i have hated every moment of it.

after about 10 years of struggling, i decided 2 years ago that i was done w/ the charade and wasn't going to return to the meetings.

Cicatrix

Dear Sweetface,

Welcome to JWD! You will find lots of information here to help you understand your sister's response to you, and support while you learn how the highly controlling WTS has affected your entire life.

I remember what it was like when I was faced with the same questions six years ago that you are grappling with now {{{BIG HUG}}}. For me, there was no denying the issues regarding the WTS policy on abuse victims, because I was one of them. I LIVED it. Yet, undoing the 20 years of indoctrination I underwent, and working through the guilt and pain that indoctrination instilled in me took some time.

I specifically wanted to address what your sister said to you about leaving the organisation because you want to "have sex with every guy, get high all of the time, and get drunk every weekend."

Okay, WHERE have you seen and heard this before???? THE WATCHTOWER AND AWAKE MAGAZINES AND FROM THE PLATFORM. Constantly repeating the assertion that everyone who leaves the organisation does so to immerse themselves in this type of behavior is a controlling FEAR TACTIC the leaders use to keep members bound within the organisation!!

Your sister is parroting the party line. She has been indoctrinated to truly believe that by HEARING IT REPEATEDLY. She isn't able to think outside of that paradigm. She truly DOES think she's doing the loving thing, because the leaders are telling her that she is. Even though she thinks she is thinking for herself, she is NOT.Her love is conditional, because that's the only type of love the WTS teaches.And you are right- that is NOT what love is really all about!!

To her, God=the organisation. So when you admit to honestly questioning the organisation, that to her means you question God. SHE HAS BEEN TAUGHT THAT THE ORGANISATION=GOD. That is another way the leaders control their members.

These are two very important concepts for you to understand, because it will help you to understand how she can treat you like she is treating you.

Please don't beat yourself up for saying things you didn't mean in the heat of the moment. It's hard to deal with the enormity of what you are going through, let alone with someone you love deeply attacking you. When attacked, it's NATURAL INSTINCT to defend yourself.Your body is in sympathetic fight mode-on automatic pilot, so to speak.

You are not an evil person for taking an objective look at WTS policies and realizing they are hurtful to individuals and entire families!

You now have the freedom to read and learn-two things the WTS denies its members. Use it to your advantage, Sweetie. Knowledge is power. It will help you understand what you are going through, and it will help you heal.

And know you are not alone.You can find support here from others who have family members still in the WTS. They truly understand what you are going through.

I wish you peace,

Cicatrix

36

My Grandpa Died Sunday

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my grandpa died sunday afternoon.i was there in the room with him.i had to watch as he struggled to take his last breaths.it was horrific to watch.this was the second time i have watched someone in my family die.he died of prostate cancer.it was a long and painful death.i'm glad he's not in pain anymore.. at the moment i'm feeling a little emotional and upset about what i saw and all of the jw bs i had to listen too.i'm also dreading the jw memorial which is next weekend.i am planning on going.i'm da ed so i don't expect anyone to come up and talk to me or express there sorrow to me.the thing is i feel like i should be comferted and people should tell me they are sorry i lost my grandfather.i lost someone who i had alot of respect for all of my life regaurdless of how close we were after i da ed.i think i'm going to be excluded at the dinner after.they are planning a reception type thing for after the service.

i'm glad i did get the chance to see him and talk to him before he got really sick.i had the chance to go to dinner with him and my parents and a couple of my aunts a few months ago.when he was leaveing he asked me pointedly for a hug.he said he was collecting them.i hugged him and said i loved him.that was the last time i saw him till i went to my aunts house where he was staying just before he went into hospice.the next time i saw him was 3 weeks ago when he entered hospice and wasn't expected to live the night out.then i saw him sunday i arrived about 20 to 30 minutes before he took his last breath.he was creamated this week and will be buried with my other family in our family plots soon.. anyway i'm just in need of some kind words of support at the moment.i though that jwd would give that to me even though i don't post here that much.it really sucks to feel alone at times like this..

Cicatrix

{{{Dearest Noni}}},

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandpa's death, and about your experience with you family!

You do NOT deserve to be treated in the manner that you have been treated. The JWs use emotional abuse to attempt to get you to conform to their paradigm.Some do it because they don't know any better-they've never been educated as to what it actually is. They really DO think that treating you in that manner will get you to "come back to the fold."And sadly, some do enjoy the sense of power they have when they can say cruel things to you.

Sweetie, the dreams are a normal process of grieving. I KNOW it feels like it's never going to come to an end right now, and things will never feel "right" again (I lost my step dad to cancer just three years ago-I was very close to him, and the pain of losing him was like nothing I'd ever felt before), but the pain does lessen over time. How much time, I can't tell you. It varies from individual to individual. But it does get better over time. It doesn't go away altogether, but you won't always feel as raw as you do now.

As far as your feelings, I have found (after being away from the JWs for six years), that my feelings were very bottled up for years also. I think that has something to do with the JW indoctrination. You are constantly TOLD how to feel and what to think ("JWs are the HAPPIEST people on earth"), and you get to the point that you don't trust your own interpretation of your feelings because they often go against what the society tells you you should be feeling.So you DO put your feelings on a shelf so you can deal with the conflict. If you think about it, that's really quite an amazing coping mechanism.

I'm six years out and still thawing:)

While this is a great place to come get support from people who intimately understand JW issues, I think you might benefit if you could find some folks in your area who could support you, too. Is there a nonJW coworker, friend, neighbor, or maybe teacher you could talk to? Are there any grief support groups in your area?

Could you organise your own gathering with supportive nonJW folks to honor your Grandpa?

It's great that you are supporting your mom, but don't forget to take care of yourself, too.

26

A 4th of July Parade

by Sunspot in

this year, my hubby's b.a.s.s club has been invited to be in the parade out by the harbor and going all through the town of oswego, (proudly known as the port city and the gateway to the st lawrence seaway) since i cannot climb up onto the decorated boats that will be displayed....they have invited me (little old me) to ride in one of the trucks that will be towing the boat that hubby will be in.. i know this isn't the most exciting event that most of you will be doing this weekend....but for an old lady that hasn't been allowed to see a july 4th parade for 30 years...it is a bit out of the "ordinary" in my list of things to do, lol!

i am looking forward to just "doing stuff" that ordinary people do in the community.

small as it may seem, it is a huge thing to have the freedom to do so!.

Cicatrix

Kwr,

I think that Watchtower referred only to women who had nonJW husbands who insisted that they vote.And I got the sense it was only women in nonUS countries that were told to do that.

That article was really confusing to me. I didn't understand why one person was supposed refuse blood transfusions to the point of death, but if if a woman was told by her human husband that she had to vote, then her "submission" to him took precadence over submission to God.

Made no sense to me.

26

A 4th of July Parade

by Sunspot in

this year, my hubby's b.a.s.s club has been invited to be in the parade out by the harbor and going all through the town of oswego, (proudly known as the port city and the gateway to the st lawrence seaway) since i cannot climb up onto the decorated boats that will be displayed....they have invited me (little old me) to ride in one of the trucks that will be towing the boat that hubby will be in.. i know this isn't the most exciting event that most of you will be doing this weekend....but for an old lady that hasn't been allowed to see a july 4th parade for 30 years...it is a bit out of the "ordinary" in my list of things to do, lol!

i am looking forward to just "doing stuff" that ordinary people do in the community.

small as it may seem, it is a huge thing to have the freedom to do so!.

Cicatrix

That's wonderful Sunspot! Have a great time:)

I remember my first Fourth of July parade post-JW very well.It had been a tradition to go to this certain parade every year with my family-including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Then we would head to the beach and have Kentucky Fried chicken. This particular parade has a HUGE clown band that plays very well and very loudly.

I didn't realize how much I'd missed that yearly tradition for the twenty years I was JW!I think my family got a kick out of how much I was enjoying it:) I can't go this year because I'm in nursing school, but I'm going to do everything I can to go next year again.

42

WELCOME MARIUSUK!!

by Mariusuk. in

jw
friends

just realised after nigh on 100 posts i don't have a welcome thread, i know it is arrogant to do your own but screw it i want a welcome

Cicatrix

Welcome Mariusuk:)

Sorry I didn't realize you were new. I don't get over here as often as I did when I left JWs six years ago. I've been too busy trying to catch up on living, lol.

You will find this place and these folks wonderfully helpful.