Goodbye, my sweet sister

sweetface2233

I was raised as a witness and have been miserable for my entire existence. I have hated every moment of it. After about 10 years of struggling, I decided 2 years ago that I was done w/ the charade and wasn't going to return to the meetings. After years of tension in my family and comments by me about pedophilia and hypocrisy, my sister, the person I love the most in this world, told me this evening that she wants nothing to do w/ me. I knew it would happen, but I didn't expect it to happen tonight. I wasn't prepared for this. She attacked me and, out of self-defense, I attacked back. I said things that I never wanted to say to her. I felt like I was in a spiritual war. She kept asking me why I was looking for reasons why Jehovah's Witnesses don't have the truth. I kept telling her that I was looking for reasons why they supposedly do. Everything I said was taken as an attack on Jehovah. I didn't say one thing about Jehovah. I never said that God is a pedophile and pays off his victims to keep their mouths shut. I never said that God is a hypocrite. I never said that God will accept blood fractions from donors, but wouldn't even think about donating for anyone else. The conversation ended w/ her telling me that it's my choice if I want to leave the truth and have sex w/ every guy I see, get high all the time, and get drunk every weekend. Apparently that's what I am supposed to do now that I am an ex-witness...be continually involved in drunken, drug induced orgies. Those comments hurt me more than anything. Just because I am not going to the meetings does not mean that I am an evil person.

So tonight, I said goodbye to my sweet, baby sister who said that "out of love" she disowns me. If love can make you feel as bad as I feel right now, how terrible is hate?

neverendingjourney

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. She's defending her way of life, her hope for the future. It's natural for her to get defensive when confronted with the possibility that her beliefs and hopes might not be real. Facing the prospect of living out your life without the hope of everlasting life in a paradise Earth is something most of us spent years resisting. Reality eventually sets in and we go through the motions until we are able to cope with our new understanding of the world. Maybe your sister will get to that point some day. Maybe she won't. It's out of your hands. You have our support.

Welcome to the forum. We hope to hear more from you in the future.

Odrade

ugh. Sorry. Maybe this will help, maybe not:

About 4 years ago we stopped going to the meetings, my little brother told me that if I didn't get "things" together he wouldn't be associating with me anymore. He meant it too, there were months when he didn't speak to me. Things have changed though, and even though he is still a loyal JW, this week he was sitting in my driveway on the truck tailgate, playing with my dogs and having a little chat.

Maybe he thought I was going to turn into a terrible person. I don't know. We're still not best friends, but things are nice.

Hang in there, and welcome to JWD.

caligirl

(((sweetface))) I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It is truly sad that simply choosing a different path of life results in being accused of becoming a degenerate with no morals or standards.

Maybe one day, the things you said to her in the heat of the moment will give her something to think about. You will find much support here from those who have been through what you are going through.

Gopher

Hello, Sweetface from Virginia, and welcome to the discussion board.

You have come to exactly the right place for support. The JW's feel a need to lash out because the whole world is supposedly against them. Your sweet sister has that "dark" side implanted by the organization she so loves.

As one who has family that shuns me, I can empathize with the feeling of being suddenly pushed aside by loved ones.

As you implied, the JW voice inside your sister expressed that the organization = Jehovah. In that sense, they idolize the organization. Once you're mentally (or physically) apart from the organization, that is so plain to see.

They should know that if there is a God, he put a brain inside our head to actually be used, not just to follow directions from some controlling organization. Using one's brains does not make one evil. It makes one more discerning and thoughtful, which you are.

Glad you came here, I'll bet you'll have some interesting views and anecdotes to share during your stay on this board.

free2think

Hello Sweetface and welcome to jwd.

Im sorry your sister is cutting you off, they think they are being loving when really its the total opposite.

Hang in there.

Bumble Bee

Welcome sweetface.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened with your sister. I had a similar thing happen with my sister and step mother about two years ago. They said some pretty hurtful things, cut me off completely. I did not try and contact them, but told them I was always here. After some time my step mother came by and apologized, we set up some ground rules about what we will and will not talk about, and atleast now we have a relationship, not the same as it was, but we talk and get together. I hope maybe some day your sister will do the same.

BB

itsallgoodnow

welcome. ugh. I'm sorry she decided to act that way, and I don't think you can ever really be prepared for it. It's too bad people feel so threatened that they resort to such extreme methods of maintaining their delusions. It's hard to know how much of it comes from themselves or if they only feel safe if they follow all the rules this cult demands they follow. That sort of insulting attitude must make her feel very powerful, but it's just pathetic. I hope one day she realizes the mistake she has made deciding to treat you this way.

It's hard to feel betrayed that way by someone who is supposed to be there for you, but it happens all the time. You will be alright, hang in there.

saywhat29

Apparently that's what I am supposed to do now that I am an ex-witness...be continually involved in drunken, drug induced orgies.

Because that's always a bad thing...

What?

Anyways, I so understand what you are going through- for me I have a younger sibling who is too young to deal with me leaving and for the reason I am going to have to leave- being gay. I wonder what it will be like for her to have to deal with knowing who I am and developing further into a JW because her whole little world since the day she was born has been drowned but witness dogma- like there'e not even a ounce of questioning it...

Hopefully as she gets older she will start to challenge it, but I sincerely doubt it. So i may one day be in your very same position and it hurts because my sister and i have an age gap so wide that she is like my own child at times and it hurts to think of her disowning me or not being able to talk to me. So my heart really does go out for you.

Open mind

Very sorry to hear that sweetface.

You've got to move on with your life, but don't ever give up hope on your sister.

I shunned my oldest brother for many years and then finally, the "scales" were removed from my eyes and I reached out to him.

Take care & you have a PM.

Open Mind

Goodbye, my sweet sister

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