its_me!

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Posts by its_me!

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  10

  How Sweet that one small victory

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  what cannot be confronted remains hanging as a dark curtain between freedom and the world.. what can be confronted has been.

  those walls have crumbled.

  rebuilt.

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  its_me!

  Impressive writing! I wish I thought that fluidly when waking in the middle of the night. Very beautiful.
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  37

  what should I say: Niece going into rehab 3rd time

  by WhereWasI in

  1. social
  2. family

  so my 35 year old niece is going into rehab for the third time now.

  this time it's a long stint, two and a half months.

  she got gov't help since she is techinically homeless.

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  its_me!

  I learned in a Chemical Dependency class at my univ. about a method called motivational interviewing. It is client centered and encourages the client to come up with solutions that they think would work for them, set goals, and then aid them in reaching those goals, rather than telling them what to do. It also focuses on self-efficacy and empowerment. It focuses on victories, and does not emphasize failures, rather it looks at failures or relapses as part of the recovery process. It is a non-judgemental form of therapy, or should be if it is done right by a kind and compassionate counselor. I wonder if the center where your niece is going practices motivational interviewing.....
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  71

  I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED

  by jwfacts in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am going to put together a page of short experiences of how shunning has affected exjws.

  you do not have to be disfellowshipped, even if you were shunned after being marked or after fading.

  all comments are welcome, such as who shunned you, how long since family have spoken to you, what your situation is, why you are being shunned and how it has made you feel.

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  its_me!

  Too much shunning for me to type! Telling the whole story requires a quiet corner in a nice coffee shop with gallons of coffee! Short version---- I was born-in, married to a 4th generation JW. We seperated, I had not been df'd, but was treated as if I was. Once I was, the elders so graciously ALLOWED my parents to take me in, as I had no education or means to support myself. However, they told my parents that they were not allowed to go anywhere in public with me or do anything recreational, or talk about anything spiritual with me. My mom was my closest friend, and we share many interests and a similar sense of humor, and we could no longer laugh together or go anywhere together, or have our long talks. One of the loneliest times in my life. I got to share a house with my mother, but not a relationship. I was reinstated, and quickly faded because I found it to be more pleasant to be disfellowshipped than to be reinstated yet still treated like a leper by the congregation. Of course I moved out of my parents house because I could not live there unless I was an actuve dub. My relationship with my mother has never recovered. The stories here make me very sad, but not nearly as sad as ANGRY!!!

  Boyzone, Aquagirl, Moshe, and all of you who have had similar experiences, ((((((hugs))))))). I have felt the pain of being shunned by many, but I have never had a child, so I have not had to experience the agony of seeing your child suffer NEEDLESSLY.
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  18

  Weird, F'd up dream...

  by undercover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't usually get too personal here... but i had a fucked up dream last night and it put me in the most foul of moods today.... i gotta type it out while i remember it.

  maybe some comments will help as well.... .

  anyway... i was connected with the mob somehow.

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  its_me!

  The whole dream is an almost perfect metaphor for being a JW. I hate those though, I always wake up with my stomach churning and its hard to feel normal for a day or two after. Wishing you nice dreams tonight! Or none at all, I would take that...
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  22

  My Story

  by TheWanderer in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i found this site quite a few months ago, after a curiosity search on wikipedia about jws and what's going on with the organization.

  i was unfortunately born into it, 4th-generation; my great-grandfather was a special pioneer spreading the word in the early 1900s.

  it was all i knew growing up, even though i struggled between trying to conform to make everyone happy ... and finding my own way in life.

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  its_me!

  Wow, that was tough to read. I'm sorry that you were cast out like that. I have never been technically homeless, but I know how lonely it feels to grow up as a JW, and then to be disfellowshipped and have no outside relationships to rely on. A few friends of mine showed me this site and it has helped the lonely feelings alot. Welcome!
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  35

  The Real Purpose of Shunning Holidays

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the watchtower endlessly prates on about pagan traditions in popular holidays - while the bible itself is loaded with subtle pagan religious ideas - such as wicked spirits being cast "into tartarus" (a pagan greek place in which the rebels against zeus got imprisoned) or "sacred secret" - a term the apostle paul likes that was adopted from pagan 'mystery' religions.. then we can throw in the reference to being divinely 'called christians' in acts - which uses a pagan term that refers to demonic oracles of the day.. of course, the watchtower has no objection to accumulating millions of pieces of paper that feature occult symbols (any dollar bill!).

  in recent years, for good measure, they have added birthdays and thanksgiving to the official banned list, despite the sketchiest justification for doing so.

  if birthdays are wrong simply because they figure in two negative accounts, then it makes much more sense to ban dogs as pets because of all the negativity in the bible about them!.

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  its_me!

  I figure they do it because Holidays are expensive and if the JWs are celebrating them, that is less money for the WTS to get their hands on!
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  19

  Crisis of Conscience: Who Wants It?

  by RAYZORBLADE in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i have had this book for several years; it's in excellent condition.

  i have posted infrequently here; follow up posts on occasion regarding this book that i have, yet still no takers.

  the local library were awkward; insert charlie brown adult voice.

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  its_me!

  What a prudish library! I am going to go see if the one in my town has a copy! Why do I doubt it? I think if they don't I will try to donate one.
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  4

  untitled

  by myusername in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is just my personal opinion and maybe there's a grain of truth in it.

  it's my opinion that many ex-jws focus too much on how corrupt the religion is.

  it is corrup but there are always going to be organizations like that.

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  its_me!

  I was born-in. It sucked. What's wrong with focusing on the corruption? Organizations who are corrupt should be exposed. People should be warned.
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  20

  My brothers wedding...

  by IronHill in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ...is today.

  he stated to me that he really wanted me to attend the ceremony, so me and lorijis will be attending the ceremony this evening.

  i dont know if we'll be ready for all of the shunning that will occur, but i want to be there and so does he.. the funny thing is we never received an invitation or anything to let us know about the wedding.

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  its_me!

  Ironhill and LoriJis--- I am so sorry that you were both slighted that way. Its pretty gross how you both were treated. But it is typical. I totally agree with Carla--- We can shun you and treat you like you are Satan's spawn, but we can ask you for money and take help from you financially. Disgusting. I am so glad that you two have eachother. And the whole situation reinforces your decisions to leave.
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  1

  Of those who leave; how many are women?

  by The JHWH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the wtbts-society is already lacking of young men, the need for elders in the future will increase drastically.. if i recall right, of those who are recruited on a later age (not born-ins), even up to 80-90% are female.. does anyone know if there is any kind of difference between genders regarding disfellowshipping?.

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  its_me!

  I do believe that there is. I have seen personally the difference in the treatment of men to women in regards to the "loving discipline" the elders dole out. Its so secular its disgusting.