I am still in, doing the slow fade, but I am running into the same difficulites that some have expressed here. I am trying to establish some frienships outside the organization, however, I feel there is still a barrier there. So far, none of the few I've come to know smoke or swear, and I realize that in many ways they are no different than JW's, trying to raise their children to be decent human beings, or others learning to adjust to life as a retiree, worrying about their health or the rising costs of living. However, sometimes the conversations seem stilted because they will talk about the holidays, birthday celebrations, politics, or gambling, and I start feeling like a fish out of water. I can't add to the conversation in any way. I have mentioned in passing to many of them that I am a JW, and contrary to what they say at the KH, there has been no negative reaction on that front. Most have no idea what we believe; none of them even knew we don't celebrate the holidays or birthdays. Frankly, they don't seem to care what religious denomination I belong to. Of course, right now these are casual friendships. It's weird, though, because I don't quite feel comfortable around them, and as some have already mentioned, I know I don't belong in the Witness world of wacky thinking either. It is a real worry and concern that I have, that maybe I will never fit back into society, that something inside me has been unalterably changed.
