I do not fear dying, nor do I look forward to it. If I die tomorrow, then so be it; I love sleeping in. But that's not to say that JW's or ex-JW's do not have more than their fair share of irrational fears.
<rant>
As for myself, it is not some shallow fear of dying. I have many irrational fears, but most of them I will not share here. Suffice it is to say, my primary fear is that of complete irrelevance. I fear that a potentially enlightening and fruitful life has been partially squandered in the selfish pursuit of everlasting life. As if I needed or deserved such a thing. But to die now and have many potentially important thoughts and ideas – things that just might benefit our children - forever lost.. that frightens me. For my most-likely average ideas to never be considered or even entertained – that I fear. My comfort is that most likely, any idea I have has already been voiced by someone of greater education and intellect.
Unfortunately, because of the lie I was taught to believe, and the dedication of my religiously infected parents, my intellect and experimental creativity up to this point was absolutely and completely squandered.
How many minds that could have made the world a better place have been derailed by an indoctrinated process of non-thinking? By a process where you ignore answering potentially important questions and adopt an attitude of negative thinking? “We can’t fix it, I’ll just hope there is some superman that can.”
I was raised by the irresponsible, and short-sighted. Any child knows that if YOU make a mess, it is YOUR job to clean it up. WE made this mess, and it is up to US to clean it up. Not some made-up super-housecleaner.
I encourage anybody here – anyone at all that has ideas – to pursue higher education. I may not have a shot at getting into a top school anymore (on account that I quit calculus mid-semester to sell religious magazines full-time. That never bodes well for your rational thinking skills), but I’m not going to let the inability of my parents to perceive a bigger picture and purpose for my life discourage me from doing what I do naturally.
</rant>
So there it is. I won’t say we should not fear dying… I fear plenty of things, both rational and irrational. Vomiting… I completely freak out over spiders and wasps! But most of all, I fear letting an important lesson that I personally learned at enormous cost, to become forgotten. The world is NOT black and white, the world isn't even shades of grey. The world is in full glorious color, more colors than we can imagine. Black and white thinking and black and white rules will never do a lick of good when it comes to understanding the world, other people, or ourselves.
- Lime
