Posts by LexIsFree

7

Just An Update

by LexIsFree in

jw
friends

you have to live your own.

i chose to live life for me.

live it!!!

I haven't posted or visited the site in a few weeks but I thought I'd give an update on where my life is. Well I've been super busy with my "9 to 5", barbering school, and my second job at a barbershop. I'm about 5 months away from graduating and getting my NJ state barbering license. It's been a long journey but every day is exciting knowing I'm working towards my own goals, not someone else's. Things are going so well at the barbershop that I am actually leaving my 9 to 5 to work at the shop full time. I'm going to be living my dream and working towards having my own shop within the next 5 years. It's not easy to overcome fear or self doubt, but so many of us have done it. You can't go through life living someone else's expectations or dreams. You have to live your own.

I also just got back today from my Dominican Republic vacation with my girlfriend of 2 years. I proposed while there and she said yes!!! I have been blessed to have a woman like her in my life who has helped me on my post JW cult journey. She's opened up my mind to many things and concepts I would never have had access to if I still allowed the cult to influence me.

So basically I'm not stuck at a job I hate cus it's "safe" and what's expected of me. I am working on my dream of being a business owner and working for myself. I'm going to school where I'm learning more about my passion and where I've had the pleasure of meeting good people who I have grown close to (I even went to one of my classmate's wedding a few months ago. Yes not all "worldy" people live in sin. They actually do get married. LOL). I'm engaged to a beautify, kind, warm, loving woman. My children are happy. My non-JW family who I have grown close to since leaving the cult are extremely happy for me. I have balance and hapiness in my life and all because I made the hardest but best decision in my life 2 and ½ years ago. I chose to let go of guilt, fear, and self doubt. I chose to live life for me. To do what was best for me. That choice opened up so many positive doors in my life. I don't regret it not one bit.

I just want the lurkers and those who are afraid to leave the cult to know that there is life after the JWs. There are good people in the world. Good things can and will happen to you with out the JWs. You don't need them. All you need is to embrace who you truly are and not live a lie. Be honest with yourself. I did and I have no regrets. I want to live and die knowing that I lived for me and left a great example for my children of someone who wasn't afraid to pursue his dream. You have one life. Live it!!!!

4

So my best friend was reinstated last night

by LexIsFree in

jw
friends

so my best friend, who also happens to be my brother-in-law, was reinstated last night.

i had an idea he was trying to make his way back to the cult since i had been texting and calling him for about 2, 3 months now and no response.

i wasn't shocked when he text me this morning to tell me the news.

LexIsFree

So my best friend, who also happens to be my brother-in-law, was reinstated last night. I had an idea he was trying to make his way back to the cult since I had been texting and calling him for about 2, 3 months now and no response. I wasn't shocked when he text me this morning to tell me the news. I am really hurt and saddened by the news though. I have no long term friends or family outside the org. The one I did have was him and we were the closest of friends. He is my brother to me. I've known him before he married my sister. He's an amazing guy. Smart guy too which was frustrating because every time we talked about the "Truth" he would still defend and the organization! Despite the treatment he received after his disfellowshipping and divorce from his first JW wife, he still believed in his heart of hearts that this was the "truth". So I've lost another dear friend to this cult. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm depressed. I even cried a little this morning. But I guess that's the way it goes. Conditional love is the norm. People discontinuing life long friendships over night is the norm. The sadness of losing friends is the norm for us.

5

So my best friend was reinstated last night

by LexIsFree in

jw
friends

so my brother-in-law, who is also my best friend, was reinstated last night.

i had an idea that he was trying to make his way back to the cult because i had been texting and calling him for about 3 months now and no answer from him.

when he text me this morning to tell me the news i wasn't shocked, but i was saddened.

LexIsFree

So my brother-in-law, who is also my best friend, was reinstated last night. I had an idea that he was trying to make his way back to the cult because I had been texting and calling him for about 3 months now and no answer from him. When he text me this morning to tell me the news I wasn't shocked, but I was saddened. I'm angry. I'm depressed. I feel hopeless honestly. We will never win this battle against the Watchtower. To me it's similar to the war against terrorism. You cannot defeat thoughts. You cannot defeat an ideology. We will never be able to convince our friends and family that they are brainwashed and that religion is a control system because it's what they believe with their whole heart and soul. I've lost another family member to the org. I've lost my brother who I love dearly. I guess the only thing to keep doing is to keep living. Ignore the org. Ignore my family like they have been ignoring me for the last 2 years. Ignore my "friends" talking about me. Calling me an evil apostate. Ignore the pain of not having the people I grew up with. Hell. They do it. Why shouldn't I?

32

Being interviewed by police tomorrow

by moley in

well tomorrow is a big day for me.

i'm finally going to be interviewed by the police about what happened to me as a kid.. im running the whole gamut of emotions at the moment.

sad, anxious, angry, guilt, fear and many more that cannot be quantified.. i feel physically sick, cannot sleep, have lost my appetite and i am desperately trying not to self harm.. i've got my sister to thank for getting this far.

LexIsFree

All the best to you. You will be in all of our thoughts. Be strong.

12

Jersey City Assembly Hall Memories

by LexIsFree in

so i was watching clips from the annual meeting.

i must say i do miss the jersey city assembly hall.

i loved going to that place as a kid.

LexIsFree

@Dunedain Hilarious post! I too remember that lion. And who could forget that compass on the floor. I saw many a person bust their ass cus of those slick tiles. LOL

@done4good I remember my dad working there some where in the ceiling running some type of cabke for the stereo or heating system (not sure). And the ice cream was THE BEST!!!

12

Jersey City Assembly Hall Memories

by LexIsFree in

so i was watching clips from the annual meeting.

i must say i do miss the jersey city assembly hall.

i loved going to that place as a kid.

LexIsFree

Oh! I also remember all the cool kids and disfellowshipped ones sat in the top level all the way in the back rows. I was never, ever allowed to sit up there. But I did enjoy my time up there as a teenager scoping out hot sisters. LOL

12

Jersey City Assembly Hall Memories

by LexIsFree in

so i was watching clips from the annual meeting.

i must say i do miss the jersey city assembly hall.

i loved going to that place as a kid.

LexIsFree

So I was watching clips from the annual meeting. I must say I do miss the Jersey City Assembly Hall. I loved going to that place as a kid. I remember before the renovation was done, going into the area where you picked up your food. I always went with my dad with our tickets and stocked up on those chicken sandwiches. LOL. And who can forget the ice cream machine they use to have (chocolate syrup on mine of course). I also remember my dad always taking our McDonald's lunch order during the baptism talk. It's weird that I can honestly say I do not remember one single talk or experience from the Jersey City assemblies, but I do remember the ambiance and running around with my friends. I also remember one time an "evil apostate" running into the front stage area yelling at the top of his lungs with a huge sign and the elders/attendants surrounding him and pushing him out of the auditorium. Who would have known then that me as a young kid would become an 'evil apostate'. If any of you went to that hall, what stories or memories do you have of it?

47

2015 Jehovah's Witnesses Annual Meeting Lett warning about apostates CLIP

by Watchtower-Free in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja4z2-sf4ky.

LexIsFree

He's so funny to look at. I couldn't imagine being at that meeting and taking him seriously. LOL

46

Just read this on JW Talk......

by WHATSGOINGON in

just saw this on the public area of jwtalk (i am not a member).

here is the link.. http://jwtalk.net/forums/topic/23523-privvy-news/.

such a shame - i do feel for these ones - i just don't know what to say.... wgo.

LexIsFree

@Magnum I was thinking the exact

53

First thoughts on "new" meeting...

by konceptual99 in

had a quick look at the workbook and flicked through the sample meeting video.. the increased use of video shows the trend for more centralised dissemination of "best practice" .

sure there isn't really a "school" any more and the format is a bit different but i think those that called it as the same old crap just in new package got it pretty much right.

.

LexIsFree

I don't know why but it bothers me seeing everyone with the tablets. I remember as a kid having to carry around a huge briefcase with a ton of books & brochures. They make it so easy for the new generation of JWs.