Bourne

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Posts by Bourne

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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  Coooooooooollllllllll.......it worked! Hmmmmmm...........
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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  Just trying to see if I can actually do this.......
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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  nvrgnbk: That's a good point. I guess there would have to be more defined general filters, but at some point, I suppose the two people involved will have to work that out.

  ?.............whoa.

  Bourne
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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  nvrgnbk said "Your "filter" is full of potential contradictions, Bourne."

  Well,

  1. While I am serious about my proposal, as I was typing the list, I felt like joking around a bit, but if YOU are serious, how so?

  2. Isn't the membership spectrum here a contradiction, what with the wide range of religious (or non) beliefs? Surely you enjoy this diversity among us.

  Bourne, of the "can't we all just get along?" sheep class.
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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  sweetstuff said -----"It could work I think, biggest problem would be matching people up with where they "are". I know I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who didn't celebrate the holidays or still had some of the jw mindset. But other than that, I think it could be a good idea."

  I agree. A solution would be to include a unique filter for our site to add to the usual filters (religion, children,political leanings, etc.) . This could be: Religious Status: Pick one: athiest. agnostic. spiritual but not religious. Fading but still in. Successfully Faded.....but paranoid. DF but still ( relatively) moral, no holidays. DF and HAVIN' FUN,BABY! JW apologist in the vein of Ray Franz. Full Hedonist Mode....anything goes.
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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  Sounds to me like it would be worth a shot.

  As I think about it, maybe we should take the JW's advice regarding service but apply it to this situation: "Go where the people are." And since this is by far the most popular and visited Ex-JW site, this is the logical place to carve out a section for this use.

  Just think this part as the "table for 10" and the dating area as the "table for 2"..........or to put it in math terms.....+ times + = .....and maybe even .

  Anyone here with Simon's right ear?

  Bourne
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  72

  Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

  by Bourne in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hey!

  since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

  at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

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  Bourne

  Hey!

  Since the "in" and "active" JW's have their dating websites, what about us?

  At the moment, I see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a JW. Some on this board have expressed such comfort with dating other ex-JW's for this very reason, with various outcomes.

  Would such a website work? COULD it work?

  Any thoughts? Any experience with this?

  Bourne
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  9

  I need to do a computer test with my postings...just need 1 person to post

  by FreedomFrog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think i came across something that i'd rather not want so i'm going to test it on the next person that posts on this thread.

  if my suspicions are correct i'll need it fixed.

  i'll explain if it "works".

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  Bourne

  Me too.
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  36

  I have a serious and I need your help.....

  by Faithful-n-Discreet Wife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this time last year i met the man of my dreams...he was incredibly smart and charming...he was in tune with me...he made me feel like i was the best thing that ever happened to him.

  at first he was a little shy...he didn't think anyone of my caliber would even give him a chance...conveniantly though i had my run of bad guys...and wanted someone different.

  he was a devout christian...and i had been yearning for years for some direction.

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  Bourne

  Hello Faithful Wife,

  I identify with the emotional turmoil you are going through, albieit from the other side of the fence. You see, my wife, in her defense, felt that the pressures of our marital problems was too much to handle emotionally. And I now don't fault her for that.

  At the time, though, my life-long JW programming of staying in the marriage "at all costs" was strong,strong,strong. And as a consequence, I probably ended up pushing her away in various ways that I wish now I had not. This was partly due to my feelings of righteousness as a result of "sticking with it", regardless of the harsh realities of my marriage.

  Yet, marriage is a very simple and very complex thing at times, and while there is much virtue in trying your damnedest to make your marriage work, I have also learned that sometimes love (or the desire and need to "be in love") is not enough to make it work.

  All I recommend is that you have a clear conscience. In other words: Make sure YOU have a "relative" peace with the hard decisions that you will make.

  Also, only YOU know YOUR circumstances. I also realize that the need to vent your feelings here (as I have done and am still doing) is quite natural and needed.

  However, I have a word of caution: With all respect to our female posters here, while having your feelings validated is a very human need, please be wary of any "group-think" reactions and advice to divorce. I am sure that they sincerely mean well, but this is an emotionally vulnerable time for you, and only YOU can make this assessment of your marriage.

  Regardless, whatever the outcome, please be assured that you DO have people who care for you and will help you get through this. I know this because it's happening to me.

  Please take care of yourself,

  Bourne
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  15

  "A MAN WITHOUT A COUNTRY"

  by Bourne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  since coming to the realization that the jw religion does not hold all the answers, let alone most, the above statement describes me to a "t".

  i'm separated from my wife, an almost certain divorce is on the horizon, and because of now being "inactive", with the exception of my family, i have seemingly lost what friends i had.. i can't bring myself to fully embrace "worldly" thinking about many things, yet, as long as i am not an "active" member of the collective, i have no chance of making friends.

  in an earlier post, someone asked me the pointed question, "what do you want?

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  Bourne

  Thanks Mum,

  To answer your question regarding co-workers and/or neighbors that I might befriend: While I have recently begun lowering my JW-instilled phobia's of "worldly" people, I admit that I still have much progress left to make. Given some time though, I think this will change. I also appreciated the idea about joining some kind of club. I'll give it some thought.

  Thanks again,

  Bourne