What could I have done differently? Well, that's a hard one.
I couldn't bear the divide in my marriage any longer. My wife refused over a period of ten years to look into one single issue that I had investigated and found to be corrupt, untrue or morally wrong. Not one thing. I found that very difficult to accept. I always thought that she might have a 'lighbulb moment' over matters like disfellowshipping or blood as she is devoted to her children. I always held a bit of hope that she would perhaps mentally leave the religion one day. I was wrong.
Hi Jambon
Totally heartbroken to hear this and the other stories of broken marriages due to this thing. Good people are being hurt.
As I read this something jumped inside of me, and it has been plaguing me for some time on this forum. I have seen tonnes of videos on how to "witness" to a witness but I too have not found it easy to open peoples eyes.
I think they are missing something (great intentions though) which led me to an idea.
Just a disclaimer first - what I say is not a judgement on what anyone should have done or has not done and also I am coming at this from the scriptural angle.
I have found that when we argue over doctrine, translation, even GB conduct - the "victim" cannot accept it fully. In their mind "this is the truth" - these things we argue about are some sort of aberation, lie from Satan, lie from mentally diseased apostates, etc - it can't be true because "we have the truth". Know what I mean?
Infact arguing over doctrine accomplishes nothing i.e- I could have a two hour conversation about the Cross / Stake discuss the greek, how the GB have misquoted scripture, etc. In all that nothing would be accomplished and you actually lose the "meaning" of what the cross meant.
Another thing is, the person cannot distinguish Jah from the WTBS, in their mind they are the same. They do not even equate Jesus in there. This is the biggest crime that they have replaced Jesus with this ridiculous notion of FDS. This is where we start.
Here is my idea and it is based on one scripture - 2 Cor 4:14-16, read it not in NWT. Basically when you turn them to Jesus the veil will be lifted. It is hard to put it all in writing and I know I will get hammered from the doubters, but that is ok
So as a husband with a JW wife (will get to the wives), when you find Jesus for real it will change you, your peace, your prayers. No doctrinal debates, just great teaching on Jesus (we have hours of stuff you can use from the NWT that you can use - no translatonal debates). She will see the Lord in you fall in love with him and the veil will rise. You can control this process by your actions.
With a wife of JW husband, the process is similar, but you are not able to control when he falls in love with the Lord as much - but for men - I found instead of struggling to "imitate" him, when I would let him dwell in me, this had a profound effect.
SO HERE IS WHAT I PROPOSE - I really want to help - as a tester we form a group of 3/4 people and work on stuff to say and do based on the principle at 2 Cor. We tweak and refine. I can supply the bible info, really great stuff I have found outside the borg that we can use the NWT with so no red flags are raise. We compare notes, meet regularly and see. If we crack it we could help save a lot of marriages in this horrible predicament. We can report our endeavours back to this group of wonderful people here.
Also, you will find the beautiful Lord I did not know for 40 years.
Anyway, it was a thought PM me if you are interest in throwing around this idea.