am i wrong by them being different from place to place?
Generally speaking, yes, you are wrong.
There are sometimes subtle regional differences (some areas have stricter dress rules, some areas are more tolerant of wealthy lifestyles) but these tend to be on unwritten rules.
The Jehovah's Witnesses are an extremely tightly controlled organization. The Watchtower literature which defines all their rules and beliefs is identical across the world. You will notice that we have posters here from across all of the USA and Canada, most of Europe and even some African countries. Our experiences of JW life are very similar. Anything written in a Watchtower publication applies everywhere.
With regard to your situation, if you stay together you will have to accept always coming second to the JWs. And be aware that persuading her to stop attending meetings and associating with them is not the same as her not believing it anymore. A lot of people leave or are thrown out of the JWs but still believe it and are plagued by guilt and fear of being killed by God at Armegeddon.
Good luck!
Rachel