I actually ASKED for shepherding calls because I was so depressed and didn't get them. In the end when I did, they were disappointing, no helpful scriptures. In one, towards the end when I had given up on getting much help, they didn't even pray, let alone open up the bible. When I stopped meetings altogether, an elder called round with a MS, I couldn't believe it, as most visits centered around how I was dealing with being sexually abused as a child and I didn't think it was appropriate to bring a MS who was younger than me and who didn't know (I hope) about my history. The meeting lasted about 10 mins if that, I said I wasn't going anymore, no scriptures were read and just a quick prayer. No-one has ever called since. I'm lucky, I was too much trouble so they can't be bothered to hound me, they prefer to have my father in their congregations rather than the person he abused.
bluebell
JoinedPosts by bluebell
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13
Shepherding Calls
by R.F. inone thing that i really enjoyed taking part in was shepherding the flock.
i saw this as the perfect opportunity to really encourage others and help play a part in strengthening them.. however...... i started to despise giving shepherding calls.
the elders that i went with seemed to suck out any possible joy that both parties could receive from the visits.
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9
Meetings v Field Service
by IMHO inwhat do/did you see as more important?
there has been so much emphasis of late (for quite a while really) on meeting attendance.
if you miss a meeting, it's a big, big problem, yet if you miss field service for a day, or a week or even a fortnight nothing is said as long as you get that 1 hour in / month.
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bluebell
I thought the 15 min was only for the elderly faithful who can't physically do more than 15 minutes even though they want to, eg in nursing homes, poor mental health, wheelchair bound etc. but they used to do more.
Not for the physically able r&f. They can only count in hours.
And yes, i think meetings are more important to them - thats where they control and brainwash you. I stopped reporting and it was over a month, maybe two before it was really mentioned and then it took even longer for them to visit me and see if anything was the matter.
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Life and death message for X-JW's
by Junction-Guy inthis is extremely important.
if you have not done so already, make sure that you contact all of your doctors and all of the hospitals you have used in the past and let them know that you will now take blood if needed.. .
this is a very true story.
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bluebell
Good reminder, I haven't used hospitals but one of the first things I did when I stopped was go to the doctors and make sure they crossed off "Jehovah's Witness" on my medical records.
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22
How Much and for How Long Did You Love Being In The 'Truth'?
by sweet pea inreading tijkmoo's original post about his experience (well worth a read all you newbies...) it made me think back to my experience of being a witness.
up until 4 months ago i had spent my whole life loving being a witness (apart from twinges of discontent when a young girl being left out of attending friends birthday parties) and was a faithful sister who pioneered when possible and was a member of the quickbuild team in my single days.
i felt it was the truth and there was no where else to go.
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bluebell
I did enjoy myself at times, not as a JW but in the social side of things, didn't last long. I wasn't popular or spiritual enough (I tried but never managed to be good association) but I made some friends who were very spiritual and considered not spiritual. You know the ones, they have jobs, pioneer, study, love God but they are open about going out and enjoying themselves and are therefore branded bad, even though all the goodies do worse and just don't tell anyone what they get up to. But I was too depressed to enjoy it too much, I only enjoyed myself when I worked myself into a high but I always knew I had to pay for it by having lows. After admitting to being abused as a child when I was 21 I waited for help and didn't get any, got more and more depressed and then realised I could be happier if I wasn't a witness and started to help myself.
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I think I owe the board an apology
by LaniB inyes it's past midnight and i'm getting melancholy and starting to rehash my life of late.
melancholy yes, but i haven't hit the bottle yet so its not alcoholly.
seriously though, i thought i'd offer an apology.
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bluebell
I did exactly the same, the only way I could reply to a post was to write what happened to me. It's natural, everyone is at a different stage of getting out of the org. To be honest I still do it, I just try to mix it with some not about me posts too.
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Did this line of thought ever cross your mind?
by Awakened07 inok - first i should mention that this line of *hypothetical* thought may seem extreme, and it's obviously exaggerated to get a point across.
but it's just one of many, many logical constructs i had in my mind, even when i was still active:.
let's say we have a pioneer sister.
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bluebell
it was my pioneer sister who noted this, that she could pioneer to the end of her life and then there could be someone who lived in the "world" and enjoyed in all it's pleasures and then die and be resurrected. She thought it wasn't fair at the time, don't know what she thinks now but she is still in.
someone once pointed out that a good thing to say to a witness at the door is "if i turn you away then i die at armageddon, right?" they answer yes, "but if you never called and I never knew your beliefs, i could get a chance maybe?" they answer yes "so basically, by calling on me you are effectively killing me?"
i thought it was great, can anyone remeber whose idea that one was?
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A bitter experience with my JW sister
by dawn48 inhi, this is very long, sorry, but i need to talk to someone about how i feel.. i'm not a jw although for a short time i studied with them back in 1984 along with my younger sister.
my sister became a jw in 1984 and about that very same time i accepted jesus christ as my savior, but did not become a jw as i disagreed with some of their teachings.
i did and still do attend the church of god.she has four children.
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bluebell
Some people are givers some people are takers. I'm a giver, my sister is a taker (but not as much as yours) I understand to a certain extent the hurt when you are in need and don't get the help you used to give. She can't expect you to bail her out all the time, she needs to do it herself. Don't change who you are but do change the people who you give to.
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my mothers conversation with elders
by DaCheech inmy mom learned the truth 40+ years ago from my uncles and some people in europe.
she has been going regularly since 1978 or so.. lately she's been going to some meetings only due to health.. yesterday at noon she got a visit from the p.o.
and he made a "pastoral visit".
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bluebell
interesting
1) someone actually bothered to do a pastoral call
2) she is questioning things
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Mental Illness - diagnosed for me
by Crumpet ini've long known, and most of you probably have as well, that there was something not all there with me.
mostly i put it down to me being bad.
questions i've never been asked before.
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bluebell
Gross! LOL
Crumpet, It's the hardest thing going to a doctor and explaining mental illnesses rather than physical ones. Hope you do well.
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UPDATE ON DANSK
by Physio init's been a long time since i posted here but i often read your messages when ian (dansk) logs on.
as most of you will know, ian will be going back into hospital on monday for an allogeneic stem cell transplant and will be away from the forum for a good few weeks (hopefully he'll be back home within 4-6 weeks).
last time he was in hospital many of you sent messages to his ward and i know they cheered him up immensely.
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bluebell
bttt thanks for keeping us updated